Time After Time
by Spiked Reyndrop
Summary: Peyton is in love, but not with her husband. Nathan is in love, and heartbroken. Can they ever recover from their recent obstacle or will they just give up.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **A little love scene, that barely touches on T, I promise.

A/N: This came to me while writing my other story.

**I'm Not Falling Apart**

Smiling at her own reflection, Peyton couldn't believe it was finally here. Her wedding day. Unlike most girls she hadn't dreamed of the day since she was in diapers, in fact it hadn't been in her books, but two men had shown her with love it was possible to dream. And she was finally here, her wedding day to be married in a couple of hours and she was giddy.

It was ironic wearing for her to wear white, but it was tradition and Brooke had worked sweat and tears on her dress, that was hanging by the door waiting to be worn.

Her smile widened at the memory of telling her best friend she was engaged. At first Peyton had dreaded telling Brooke, because let's face it, Lucas had been a sore spot for a long time. But the exact opposite happened, Brooke could barely contain her excitement and had the wedding planned within the first 3 minutes of telling her.

"You look beautiful," a familiar voice brought her out of her musings. Dread immediately filled her every pore. What was he doing here? She couldn't dare turn around, but feigned nonchalance she didn't quite have. "What you're not going to even look at me, Sawyer?"

Closing her eyes, she reprimanded herself, at the delicious chill that run down her spine at the way he said her name. They weren't anything, so she wouldn't even indulge him. _Ignore him and maybe he could go away._

He knew Brooke and Haley weren't going to be back for a while, Peyton always needed time to herself to feel sane, especially with such a high pressure day. But to prevent any interruptions, he turned the lock, shutting them away from the world one more time. "You could at least acknowledge your future relative, Peyt." A taunt would always get her to respond, no matter how much she tried to hold her tongue.

"Nathan what do you want?" it was obvious he was baiting her, and that was one trap she was going to avoid like the plague. It would be letting him know he could still get to her, and Peyton just wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

He smirked. Though he didn't get at biting response like he expected, he saw something else in her eyes. Peyton was nervous, and he liked it. "To offer my congratulations to you of course," moving closer, impressed that she didn't step back. Sure she was nervous, but was still stubborn as hell. _His_ Peyton was still there.

"Much appreciated, now you can leave," she deadpanned turning her back on him. God, he wasn't suppose to be here. She had _counted _on him not being here. Why couldn't he just leave her alone, to the little happiness she'd found, Why couldn't he -

Olive met Sapphire in the mirror, her heart raced. He was closer that he should have been. Her caustic response was meant to make him leave but, this was Nathan. He was stubborn, never gave up until he got what he wanted, and seemingly he was yet to get it. "Nathan just leave."

"No," he stated moving closer, eyes still locked with hers through the mirror. "Not until you tell me why you're doing this. You've made you're point , Peyt, I get it. You don't need to do this."

_Was he serious? _A cynical laugh escaped her. "It's just like you and you're massive ego to make this about you. It isn't about you, Nathan. I don't have to do this, sure. But I'm doing it because I want to. I'm happy finally after all the crap, and I'm marrying Lucas," happy she was finally getting to him, as his blue eyes turned stormy. "I'm marrying your _brother_. You can either accept it and be happy for me, or you could leave because honestly, I don't need you here." Now she was just trying to hurt him she knew, but damn it, he brought out the worst in her when he really wanted to. "I. don't. _need_. You."

The words pouring out of her mouth hurt. Yes, he knew she was marrying someone. And yes, that person was his brother. But her not needing him, was what broke his heart. He screwed up, and lost her again. And worst still he hadn't even fought for her, letting his pride get in the way. He should be happy that she was happy, however, he just wasn't ready to let anyone but him make her smile. Marriage scared him, and that's why he run. Cowardly, but who could blame him when the first one had nearly broken him. Peyton deserved that and he hadn't been able to offer her that, or a solid and stable relationship.

Something struck him though, through his musings. She hadn't once said in her little tirade, that she was in love with Lucas. Not a single time and, he held on to that hope. He was going to turn this around. "What about love?"

"What about it?" confused at what he was trying to say, and the confidence in his voice growing stronger.

"You haven't said you love him," he pointed out, stepping closer eyes locked on hers, until there was barely any space between them.

She couldn't handle close proximity with him, it always ensured that he could convince her of anything. And right now she was in danger. All she had to do was put a little space between them, so she could think straight again and maybe kick his ass out like she was suppose to 5 minutes ago. But, Nathan anticipated the move and quickly trapped her, by placing hand on either side of her on the dresser, moving even closer. Of course, he'd know her next move. "Nathan stop."

"You can't say it, can you?" he said, not to taunt her, rather just to state what was obviously in her heart. "Peyton…you don't love him."

Closing her eyes, she broke contact from those piercing deep blues. His stare and his proximity was just too much for her. "You don't know that," her voice shaky, as she tried to get a bit of resolve back.

"Your eyes can't lie to me, Peyton," he whispered gently against her skin, unable to resist her sweet vanilla scent and warm skin. He didn't kiss her soft skin, even though he wanted to so badly, he ached. Truth was, he was scared she would reject him. And rejection from her… it would tear him apart.

"Nate…"

She was going to say something, and he could feel her slip away. No, he just couldn't let that happen. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he wrapped her arms around her waist. "Babe, you don't love him. How can you want to live a lie with him?"

"It better than having my heart torn apart," she confessed in a weak whisper, appalled at the fact that she was fighting back tears. 3 months she'd waited for something - Anything from him - but not a word. Why the hell was she letting him affect her so?

Her, close tears, was killing him, but in a twisted way it assured him that she still cared for him, no matter what extremes she was willing to go through to get over him. "Then let me sow it back together Peyt. Baby don't do this."

"I'm not risking my heart again. I can't…it's just too much." Her resolve almost shattering, because as much as her mind was telling her to quit being a moron and push him away, her heart had missed him so deeply and just cared way too much still, to do it.

"Tell me how to fix this Peyt," his tone pleading as he finally kissed her neck. _Screw rejection_. "Tell me how to stop this."

What was she doing? No. she couldn't let him back in again. This wedding could make Lucas happy, and maybe someday, she would be happy too. "You can't," letting a tear drop, but regaining her senses that seemed to fly right out the window when it came to _this _blue eyed boy. "You're 3 months too late," forcefully trying to pull away his arms that remained tightly wound around her waist. But, facts were, he was too strong and he just didn't want to let go.

"Peyt…"

She was on a roll and couldn't afford to lose steam. "No Nate," finally able to get free of his embrace, she whirled round to face him. Olive eyes swimming in tears, but blazing with anger. "It's too little, too late! You can't fix anything, because what you broke can't be fixed from all the times you've broken it. You can't stop this wedding either, because I've moved on from holding onto someone that was never really mine. I'm done giving chances to something that is, and always will be… a mistake!"

He stood there taking every poke, and harsh comment because, he deserved it for leaving her. But, when she said the words _mistake_ in relation to what they had, his sorrow turned to anger. How dare she trivialize what they had? It was his turn to laugh cynically, "A mistake?" stepping closer, making her back up at the fury in his eyes. "Why are you stepping away, _Sawyer_? I just want to confirm your _Mistake Theory_." His tone cruel but he didn't care.

"Nate don't you dare -" but she couldn't finish her statement, as he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to him.

"So I guess this will be a _mistake _too?" his eyes had been resting solely on her lips as he spoke, before crashing his lips onto hers in a harsh kiss. If, he was a mistake then heck, he was going to be the incredibly unforgettable one.

His kiss was fierce, as she put up her best fight to push him away and, for the life of her, not kiss him back. Unfortunately, every push or resistance to his kiss just egged him on to deepen it and make it more urgent. Several times he swiped her bottom lip, demanding entrance, but each time she denied him, though her knees were weak. It was stupid to still be affected by his kiss, but damn him she wasn't going to let him win.

Her denial just made his frustration mount, and forcefully push through the weak barrier of her lips to finally taste her tongue. For a moment, he hoped she wouldn't retaliate, he wouldn't be able to stop if she did. But, she began kissing him back just as harshly, keeping a small fight that was soon going to stop entirely. Not once did he hesitate to push her back against the vanity, his hips on hers.

This was wrong. It was so wrong, but she couldn't stop it. More importantly, she just wanted to get lost in him and it broke her heart. This was confirmation that he still had her heart in his hand, and despite her efforts to forget him, she was still in love with him. God, she really wished this was a mistake, that it had all been a mistake, but it wasn't. It never was. Her lie may have come out strong and true, but it was hardly close to what she really felt. She had tried to hurt him, and it had backfired heavily on her.

The kiss became intermingled with the salty taste of tears. Peyton was crying, but so was he. This was hurting her, but it was hurting him too. But like she said, he was a mistake, and likewise, he was determined to make himself someone she would never forget. They'd grown up and moved past the only physical part of their connection, and turned that misplaced passion into something real. Or at least he'd thought they did, and it saddened him to have to show her they were more, by having sex.

She was close to suffocation, but there was no way she wanted him to move away. It would bring back the reality of the situation. Unfortunately, he did break the kiss resting his forehead on hers, both their eyes closed from all the emotion flowing through them. She wasn't going to fight him anymore, because she just couldn't. So they just stayed like that, trying to get their breathing back to normal.

He began kissing her again, placing feather light kisses on her crown, forehead, nose, both tear stained cheeks, chin then the softest of all kiss on her lips. If he'd done it roughly, it would have probably hurt less, but he was nothing but gentle and careful with his touches. A gentle tug on her lower lip, with his own had her sighing and letting a silent tear escape the barriers of her eyelids.

That sigh almost brought him to his knees, as tears escaped his own closed eyelid to mingle in their soft gentle kiss. One of his large hand moved down her side from their position on her hips, as he gradually deepened the kiss, his other hand lost itself in her hair. The pins holding her hair up fell out from the disturbance of his fingers. He'd always told her how much he love her hair curly and wild, and having it up in the elaborate style Brooke had spent hours on was not acceptable. Her own hands couldn't remain stationary, as one hand stayed flat against his black shirt, feeling the increasing pace of his heart beat, as the other played with the hair on his nape.

It was unfair how well she fit in his arms, and felt against his body. Her soft curves meeting his hard muscle. He needed to feel her, and be with her so badly, it was killing him not to just rip of her robe and have her. It would just be too trivial an act, for such a moment. He wanted her to remember it being a beautiful moment, just like her first time with him, so that if she still went through with the sham, it would be engraved in her every pore who he was to her.

His kiss swollen lips moved from her lips, down to her chin and onto her neck in warm sensual kisses, as his hand rode up her leg making her gasp. The other in her hair, tugged gentle, as he moved back up and capture her lips in a slow, torturously passionate kiss, that had her fisting his shirt for some sort of balance. What he always did to her had to be sinful, because it literary set her whole body on fire.

This wasn't wrong, it was so frigging right! Why couldn't she see that this was how it was meant to be.

Pulling away he just looked at her, dishevelled hair, darkened olive eyes, tear stained cheeks, kiss swollen lips, flushed skin and chest heaving as she tried to catch a breath from his earlier assault. She was gorgeous, and he just couldn't help touch her. Fingers traced her lips, that he was ready to capture once again, chin, down to her neck.

She just watched his face as he continued his gentle exploration, mesmerised, only closing her eyes as his fingers traced the dip of the neckline of her robe, grazing her skin. Why did he have to make her wait? Why was he taking his time? Was this some sort of torture?

He knew what he did to her, and he was going to make it agonizing for her, returning his eyes onto her face as he gently tugged the clumsy knot of the belt and slipped a slow hand into the robe to caress the newly exposed skin of her hips and waist. He had to smirk slightly at her sharp intake of breath, at the touch of hands. His basketball calloused hands always sent her heart racing, so he slipped his hand further back to caress her lower back. A groan escaped him, as she curved her body into his. His small smirk, slipped from his lips as the reality of the situation came back to him. This was the last time, and his conceit couldn't slip in and lose him this small part of her.

Peyton released her clutch on his shirt, and focused her attention on unbuttoning his shirt. With every release of a button, she place a slow sensual kiss on the newly exposed skin. It hurt so much that she was going to do this one last time, but it just had to be this way. They just weren't right for each other, no matter how much it was tearing her apart. When the last button was released, she gently run hand up his abs, muscular chest, and finally to his shoulder. He didn't do anything just watched her, his hands on her hips. She slowly pushed the shirt off his broad shoulder, caressing his muscular arms in the process.

Nathan let his eyes flutter closed as she nibbled on his ears gently, before peppering kisses along his jaw line. It was his turn to let silent tears through, he couldn't take this slow torture. It wasn't fair, why couldn't she just stop being stubborn and be his again. It was clear they still cared for each other, so why was she willing to marry someone who couldn't make her feel the way he did. Gently pulling her head back so she could face him, he captured her lips frantically as if possessed. He wanted this day to be just a bad dream.

She picked up on his frantic panic on to herself as she kissed him back just as fiercely, letting her robe fall to a pool at her feet, and also letting him pick her off the ground. As always her legs wrapped around his waist, and arms tightly wound his muscular shoulders.

They fell onto the bed with a crash of hurried disrobing and tangled limbs. But as they lay there fully unclothed and open emotions playing in their glassy at their impending fate, they slowed down wondering if rushing things was really fair for their last time. They lost themselves slowly. Hearts breaking the further they went. Here, and now was all they would have from now on.

When Brooke and Haley returned, they found Peyton in her a towel, face washed and crying profusely. Both brunettes didn't hesitate to rush to her side, to comfort there clearly distraught friend. Any asking of what happened and why she was so upset, just seem to make her cry harder. Brooke had to really wonder if Peyton really wanted to marry Lucas, but didn't voice her concerns on the matter. It was Haley who asked, fearing heart break for her best friend, and was relieved to hear Peyton say the wedding would push through. It was selfish, but Haley couldn't stand Lucas being hurt once again, also the fact that a possible reconciliation of her and Nathan was on the horizon, and the two blondes getting hitched would put her unrealistic suspicions of Peyton and Nathan to rest.

Larry complimented Peyton, and she almost broke into tears once again. For so many reason, but managed to keep them in and cried inside instead. The ceremony had passed like a blur, the only thing in her mind was the earlier betrayal with Nathan, and how it had hurt more than it help. Them making love, didn't help either move on like they should, it just made the longing that more unbearable. But, she owed Lucas to honour her promise. This would make him happy and that was all she would focus on from then on, instead of dwelling on the unhealthy love she had for Nathan.

During the ceremony, she'd seen him, Nathan, at the back in the shadows, watching. Peyton had stopped breathing, as she looked at him.

Before leaving the room earlier, he'd spoken the harshest realities in the world that had torn her up, and when he'd banged the door shut behind him she was sure she wouldn't see him again. But there he was waiting for her, holding to the last hope that she would walk away from Lucas and back to him.

For an irrational second, she thought about it, running down the aisle and into Nathan's arms. Unfortunately as soon as the thought had struck her the reality settled in. This wasn't some stupid fairy tale, this was real life. A reality where her and Nathan sucked together, and she'd said yes to Lucas when he'd proposed.

"Peyton?" Lucas prompted her to answer the priest question, concern prominently in his voice.

"I …do," she said finally and a collective sigh of relief filled the air. She was doing the right thing, they weren't right for each other. Twice they tried, and twice they failed. This was for the best.

The loud bang of the door, however told her Nathan didn't see it that way. And once again she held back tears.

More soon

Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own".


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None.

_A/N: Second Chapter._

**Spiralling**

Gracefully sauntering to the bar, Rachel plopped down beside a brooding Nathan. The brooding was always a trait for the older Scott brother, but Nathan was doing a pretty convincing job of it. "Didn't see you at the wedding," she commented casually, ordering a drink.

"I'm not sleeping with you," was Nathan's curt brush off, as he took another swig of his scotch, not even looking at her.

Rachel scoffed, "Trust me hotshot, that ship already sailed."

"So then what do you want?" he asked tiredly, "we both know you don't do something without an ulterior motive. So what's the deal Gattina?" Blue eyes, finally piercing her with deadly demand.

"It simple concept: _misery loves company_," sipping her drink, "You're misery and I'm company. Besides, I'm pretty sure the way you are throwing them back, you'll need a designated driver."

He sniggered. "_I'm pretty sure_ the designated driver needs to be sober, something you won't be _the way you are throwing them back_ and all." his tone more than mocking.

"Who said anything about me driving?" she smirked. "That's what my driver's for."

He didn't say a thing just returned to nursing his scotch. Everything was screwed to hell anyway, what could making deals with devil hurt anyway? "Just so were clear, don't ask any question and will be good."

"Oh please like it's such a big secret why you're down here, hot shot." Rachel snorted, not one to be given ultimatums or afraid to tell the brutal truth. "You here drinking to oblivion, because the love of your life, Blondie, married you brother. It suck and hurts, but get over it. She did."

"Is it you're mission in life to be a bitch?"

"If being a bitch is dealing with the harsh realities, then damn right am a bitch and don't deny it either. Want some advice, sexy, get over it or she'll bring you down. Clearly she doesn't care so why should you."

He chuckled. "Yeah, taking advice from a lonely, bitter bitch is exactly what I'll do."

"You're lashing out at the wrong person here, genius. You should also know, I don't get easily offended, really give me the best you've got." When he didn't say a thing and just glared at her she went on. "You're not the only one who got burnt when brood and brooder got married, so quit wallowing in self pity."

"Rachel, back off."

"What 'cause the truth hurts?" not backing down. "I'll tell you a story, listen up cutie 'cause I'll only say it once. There once was a red-head who was going to concede and give a baby to guy if that's what he wanted, long story short, bastard walked away and married a blonde. Moral of this story, shit happens and it's up to you to take control of your life or wallow while they make house."

Raising an eyebrow, "_You._ have a baby?"

"Exactly," she stated like that was all that was needed.

"You hate kids."

"Not exactly a new discovery there Scott, but back to my point; we are way to hot to be depressed. I say we have a drink and get out of here."

"Said I wasn't going to sleep with you."

"There are other activities other than sex, Nate," she drawled with an eye roll. "Now, quit with oversexed, alcohol fogged thoughts, and finish the remaining scotch so we can go."

"Where?"

Placing a large smile on her face, she watched him gulp down the rest and offered him her hand. "I promise you'll like it," he looked at her sceptical, and didn't move. "Oh come on hot shot, live a little," taking matters in to her own hands, and tugging him off the stool and out of the seedy bar, ensuring to leave the bartender a hefty tip.

***

"I'm sure he just needed time, Hales. He'll turn up sooner or later," Lucas told his worried best friend. It not that he didn't care about his little brother, it just that Nathan had been spiralling and a small vacation away from it all was probably what he needed.

Haley sighed, "I know, but it's been two weeks since any of us have seen him," running a frustrated hand through her hair. "I'm sorry but, I need something more than a message on the answering machine saying he's okay Luke."

"Hales, we've tried calling his 5 times since you got here. He doesn't want to answer"," he reasoned for her. "He doesn't want to be found."

Her brown eyes snapped up to look at him, "so what you're saying is, I should just let it go?"

"No, what I'm saying is you need to give him time," gently squeezing her shoulders in comfort.

***

He hadn't expected to have so much fun, or have Rachel help with his misery, but she did. Two weeks away from Tree Hill and all the pain that came with Lucas and Peyton's wedding, was exactly what the doctor order. It was just crazy and unbelievable that all this was because of Rachel.

It also wasn't just all fun and games, on their little vacation, surprisingly Rachel had her own underhanded and go-around way of getting personal information from him, and sharing her own in heart to hearts in the Jacuzzi. A year ago if you asked him, if he and Rachel alone in a Jacuzzi would be a good idea, he would have answered in a resounding no. But just like Brooke had seen years ago, Rachel had a good side that she purposely kept hidden.

"You look hot Scott," Rachel commented as Nathan came by the pull after his usual morning jog. "Sweaty really works for you."

He smirked, "Why wouldn't it?" taking a gulp of water. "So anything exciting planned for today."

"Yeah, you can start answering your messages and tell people you're home," she stated simply, still laid back casually on the sun bed, eyes hidden behind black Aviators.

"Playing shrink again?"

"At least call Brooke, her message is worth it."

Rolling his eyes, he knew he had to call them. Haley, Lucas, and Brooke. Haley was worried he could tell by her tone, and honestly, he knew all he would feel was disappointment if he called her.

Lucas… he just didn't want to talk to. Not that he hated his brother, Lucas as much as he could be infuriating, was a great brother and friend. It was just hard to pick up the phone and call the man who had involuntarily taken Peyton away from him. That and he felt the slightest bit guilty about making love to her wife, hours before she was to walk the aisle. Regret: no. Guilt: yes. He loved Peyton, he did but looking back, it would destroy Lucas to know what happened.

That left Brooke, his sister-from-another-mother, would definitely kick his behind all kind of ways for going MIA on her, and not even saying good bye.

"So how mad was she?"

"Beyond."

He'd call her. After a shower that is.

Rachel discreetly watched him shed his shirt and disappear back in the house. Peyton was still reigning heavily on his heart, but he was definitely improving. The scout was very impressed and would be hinting to the manager soon about Nathan. He was getting better and better, working hard to get back from his injury. There were times he was frustrated, and that's where party girl Rachel stepped in to loosen him up. And when he needed a kick in the butt, she was right there to do it.

It may seem that she was trying to take Peyton place. Which was true, at least temporarily, until Nathan could do it on his own. Peyton had always been his number one cheerleader, and now with the whole wedding, she had unconsciously become the number one distraction from recovering and getting back in the game. She also wanted to reconnect with her friends again, and now that her career had crashed and burned, and parents were dead, she had nobody but her friends in Tree Hill. And now that she was back, and living with Nathan, things couldn't be better.

Diving into the cool blue water of his pool, she tried relaxing before hell broke lose with Haley finding out she was living with Nathan now.

***

As she walked toward the doctors office, she couldn't help compare it to walking to a firing squad. An unconscious hand touched her flat belly, wondering whether this was good news or bad news. Don't get her wrong, a child would always be a good thing. But this baby, would bring more hurt if it was fathered by Nathan.

_As they laid in bed in utter content, Nathan's finger gently traced her belly a soft smile tugged at his lips._

"_What?" she asked curious at the sweet smile on his face. When he didn't answer, she gently massaged his raven head. "Nate. What?"_

_He looked up at her, blue eyes shining with amusement. "Ever though how drop dead gorgeous our kids would be?"_

"_Where did that come from?" she asked with an uncertain laugh. Was he being for real? For the years they'd been together, of course she'd though about it. Blue eyes, straight blonde hair or Green eyes, curly dark brown hair. Butterflies always fluttered in her stomach at the thought, of carrying his child. _Their _child._

_He smirked, "oh come on, we are hot as hell, practically sex-on-legs," which got him a playful smack on the arm. "Our kids would stop traffic."_

_All she could do was laugh. But after a small silence, she raised an eyebrow, "is that why you've been so frisky lately?" _

"_Yeah, it my goal P. to get you barefoot and pregnant," smiling devilishly, as his hand sneaked into the back of her shirt. "or maybe I just find you insanely sexy."_

_She bit her lip gently, in appreciation, before kissing him in utter euphoria. As much as he was brushing it off, they'd just officially had their first 'baby talk', and as crazy as it was, she loved that he had actually thought about it._

"…so Ms. Sawyer, when was your last check up?" Dr. Townsend asked once they got through the formalities and Peyton was the slightest bit comfortable.

Mrs. Scott. That was what she should have been using now, but she wasn't quite used to it yet. "About two months ago." watching the doctor jot down her answer.

"I see here on you chart, that your temperature is fine, as well as weight, I'm a bit concerned about your blood pressure though," the doctor informed her, before looking up at her once again. "When was your last menstrual cycle?"

Well that was the kicker wasn't it. "The fourteenth …two months back," of course she'd counted. "but skipping happens often, so I didn't think anything of it."

"I'm sure it nothing, but I'll run a few tests and an examination," offering the nervous blond a smile to relax her a bit. "I also have to tell you that a missed period could also mean pregnancy-"

"Actually that's why I came in today…"

"I was going to run that test anyway, so don't worry," getting the syringe and needle ready. "Once I get the test back we'll know more."

***

"Rachel?" Haley asked, shocked to find the red-head in Nathan's house, and traipsing in nothing but his sweatshirt.

This wasn't good, but then she thrived on drama, and pissing Haley off was kind of amusement to her. "Haley," was her answer as she walked around like she owned the place.

"What are you-" Haley began, not wanting to jump to conclusions that her mind was conceiving, before Nathan's call interrupted.

"-Rach. Have you seen my … Haley?" changing the course of his question once realizing that they weren't alone anymore.

"Nathan." Was Haley's cool reply, as she tried to clear the horrid images that the two in their current states brought on. Rachel in Nathan's sweatshirt and probably nothing else, red hair damp and Nathan shirtless and hair still wet. "What's going on?"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was obvious what she was thinking, which was kind of hurtful. "Not what your thinking." Rachel's chuckle at his answer, definitely didn't help the situation, and he sent her a warning glare accordingly.

"I'm thinking this is between you two, so I'm just going to head into the bedroom and get dressed while you two sort this out," grabbing the plate of fruit she'd prepared for herself and Nathan, and disappeared up the stairs.

_Bedroom_? "Tell me you weren't with her this whole time, while we were sick with worry," Haley said once she was sure the red-head was really gone.

"Like I said, it's not what you think," not seeing why he needed to explain himself. She jumped to conclusions, not his problem.

"Really Nathan? Then tell me what it's like 'cause so far, you going MIA for 2 weeks, and then…_this_…"

"You've already jumped to conclusions, Haley. I don't see what you want me to say."

"You didn't even let anyone know you were back. Nathan… what's going on with you?"

Sighing, he spoke in his most controlled tone. "Life. That's what's going on with me." Haley was about to speak again, but he cut her off. "I get that people were worried, but I'm a grown man. I went on a vacation with a friends, that's what Rachel's doing here."

"So, you decided to play buddy-buddy with the woman who practically broke up our marriage?"

"No, insecurity and mistrust broke up our marriage Hales, Rachel was just you're excuse to sign the papers," he contradicted. "Besides, our marriage was over long ago. I don't understand what your deal is."

Haley held back tears at how brashly he talked about their divorce, like it was nothing. "My deal, is our son. It's our son wondering where the heck, he's daddy has been for the last couple of weeks."

"I'll visit him later today and make things right with him. Okay?" knowing he'd screwed up when it came to his son.

"See that you do that," was all she said as she brushed past him.

And it just keeps getting better.

_

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More soon

_A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. I'm using song titles for the chapter titles. So this one is courtesy of Keane's Spiralling (Love this song). As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None.

_A/N: thank you for read. An an extreme special thanks to my reviewer, You rock immensely._

**Ordinary People**

"What will you be doing while I'm with Jaime?" Nathan asked as he shrugged on his coat. He wasn't pissed at her for earlier, since it really wasn't his fault Haley had jumped to conclusion, and it was in Rachel's nature to rile Haley up when opportunity presented itself.

Rachel smirked, "making this more _our _space, than just _your_ bachelor pad. What else would I be doing?"

"Not hiding out here," he deadpanned.

"Yeah 'cause you've been breaking down Lucas' door to see _her_ again?" She hit back. What, it was in her nature to be defensive. "Get back to me when you actually have a face to face conversation with Blondie."

Rolling his eyes, he walked out. "No pink walls and we're good." He wasn't going to pressure her, just like she didn't try to pressure him.

Okay, she was a strong person, heck she was able to fool Nathan on that fact, but when it came to Lucas her defences were weak, and damn, it still hurt that he let her go for Peyton. Somehow she'd always known he was in love with Peyton, but she'd also hoped that Lucas would see her as the person who could help him forget Peyton.

Heck, she had always been phobic, when it came to babies and being a mother, but Lucas somehow changed all that and made her believe that she could want and have those things, just to have him take it away when she was ready for it.

So, was she ready to face Lucas yet? Probably, not. And until she was ready, she wouldn't go and risk her façade getting cracked.

***

"Hey there buddy," Nathan said in cheer. His son was the only light he had at the moment, and he'd failed him slightly by not calling when he'd taken his little trip. But, now that he was back he would concentrate on him and getting back in the game.

Jaime could barely contain his excitement at the sight of his father, and practically flung himself into his arms. "Daddy!"

"How you doing Jim Jam?" balancing him on his side, interested to know everything he'd missed in the last two weeks.

"Okay," he said, playing with Nathan collar before looking at him, trying to be grown up. "Where were you?"

"I… took a little trip, little guy. But, I'm back and so sorry I had you worried," setting the little blonde back on the ground and crouching down to get on eye level with him. "Tell you what, why don't you and I hang out the whole day today, and do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want Jim Jam," Nathan confirmed, ruffling his hair.

"Even ice-cream?"

"Ice-cream…Pizza…Candy…Basketball. Whatever you want."

"Great! I'm going to go tell mommy and aunt Peyton," running into the kitchen leaving his father frozen to the spot.

_Peyton is here? _He felt jumbled between being happy and heartbroken of that small fact. On one hand he wanted to see her so bad, simply because he missed her, but on the other hand the sight on her would probably break his heart more than make him happy. Why? Because, she wasn't his anymore. She was with Lucas. Married to Lucas.

"Nathan," Haley rather cool reception, brought him back from his thoughts.

There she was standing next to Haley, a hand resting on Jaime's golden head, with an unsure smile. It hurt, but he was more angry than he thought he would be. This was the woman who called their relationship a mistake, then proceeded to marry his brother. Did he still love her? Hell yes. Had he forgiven her for marrying Lucas? Not even close. But, for the sake of his son who was in the room, he was going to be civil. "Haley. Peyton."

"Can we go now daddy?" Jaime asked breaking the tension he seemed oblivious to, as he got from under Peyton's nurturing hand and hugging his father round the knees.

Nathan managed a smile, because for his son he would do anything. "Sure buddy. Let's hit the road," picking up his son. Haley seemed to still be pissed at him for earlier, but he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for it. They were over, it was his life. Who he chose to live with or be friends with didn't concern her. "I'll bring him over by 9."

Haley nodded, and smiled at her excited son, "Have fun baby."

"I will," he called over his dad's shoulder, as they walked out

Peyton wasn't surprised that, he didn't even say goodbye. But it still hurt and pissed her off. He wasn't the only one hurting, yet he couldn't even manage being civil which was real childish.

***

"Hello," Peyton answered her cell after several rings, finding it under a bunch of paper on her cluttered desk. _note to self: get organised._

-- "Hello. Is this Ms. Peyton Sawyer?" the woman on the other end inquired politely.

Balancing her cell phone between her ear and her shoulder, she got back to work. "Yes, this is she."

-- "I'm calling from the Tree Hill Medical centre, to inform you that your test results are ready, and to know when you'll be ready to schedule an appointment with Dr. Townsend."

She immediately froze. The doctor appointment earlier today had flown out of her mind, with her going through countless demos and the meeting with Nathan earlier. "Couldn't you tell me over the phone?"

-- "I'm sorry. Dr. Townsend requested us not to disclose it to you, because there are a few things she needs to discuss with you regarding your results."

That didn't sound good, but she nodded anyway. Only answering, "yes," when she realised the person couldn't see her over the phone.

-- "So when would you like me to schedule your appointment?"

That was the kicker wasn't it. She still needed to come to terms with everything, "Is next week Wednesday okay?"

-- After typing something, the woman answered, "Next week Wednesday at 9 am. But, are you sure you wouldn't like an earlier appointment?'

"I'm sure."

-- "Okay, we'll send you a reminder 24hr before the appointment, so if their any questions or cancellations you can do it then or beforehand."

"That's fine."

-- "Have a nice day Ms. Sawyer."

Even after the woman hung up, Peyton remained holding the phone, unmoving. Unsure, where she was going to go from here. Yes, the test results weren't known to her, but she could feel it in her gut already. She was pregnant.

Maybe, it was just her rational side that wanted concrete proof that the test would bring, rather than rely on the home-pregnancy test she'd taken and her gut-feeling. The question that kept popping up though, was should she tell Nathan if it was his?

Gut feeling: It was his.

***

It was about 9.30 when Nathan walked through the door once again, a small smile tugging at his lips. He had a good day with his son, which he hadn't doubted.

"Judging from that smile, It's safe to guess that you had a good day with the squirt?" Rachel comment, sticking her spoon back in her tub of ice-cream.

He smiled wider, "Yeah. I did," searching the fridge for his trusty bottle of water. "Have you eaten?"

"Okay dial down the daddy, Nathan. Mini-Nathan isn't around," rolling her eyes. She eat. In fact today, she pretty much binged, because hey, her career was over no need for carb watching.

She was happy he was happy. "When's Haley sending over the lynching mob?"

"Isn't that overreacting Gatina?"

"You mean, you didn't see her trying to kill me with her death glare earlier," handing him a spoon, she pushed the ice-cream to the middle of the island so they could share. "Fact is, wifey despises me."

"She's not my wife and, I thought you didn't care?"

"I don't, 'cause I could kick her goody-goody ass with my eyes close. Her back up's the problem. As much as Peyton's skinny, she can throw one hell of a punch. Reference Brooke for confirmation." savouring the melting ice-cream. She wasn't oblivious that she mentioned Peyton, in fact she did it intentionally. Her subtle way of getting something from Nathan about his lost love. Helping him, helped her.

"Same can be said about Lucas. Scrawny but can pack a punch," was all he said, a warning to her to drop it, but knowing Rachel she'd probably be less subtle the next time she asked.

"Who knew blondes could fight." getting the warning and backing off, "Seen Brooke yet?"

It wasn't a secret Rachel missed Brooke, but he wasn't going to out her game anytime soon. "At the pier. The only reason she didn't rip my head off, was because her favourite and only godson was with me."

Brooke had completely cut ties with her, when the divorce between her much beloved _Naley _pushed through, as the brunette chose to side with Haley. It had hurt, but facts were Haley was a friend to Brooke longer, and her godson's mother. She'd screwed up, back then, but hopefully she'd fix things this time round. "Hmm," shoving a spoonful of chocolate-y goodness in her mouth so she would have to say anything.

"You should call her."

"Last time Davis saw me, she wasn't exactly-"

"-You care about her. Just talk to her."

"Ok hot shot-" she began but, he cut her off.

"- Gatina, you want keep lying to yourself? You miss her. I know how sucky it is to be on her shit list," piercing her with the most earnest look in his sapphire orbs. "Just call her. If it doesn't work out, you can at least live with the fact that you tried."

She hated those blue eyes, and him being right. "Whatever. I'm off to bed," giving him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you. "I have an early start tomorrow."

He'd gotten through to her that's all that mattered. And honestly, he owed her a little and another project with him would be getting Brooke and Rachel back to the friends they were senior year.

***

It was Friday, when Peyton finally got the nerve to go to the hospital. Procrastination was a stupid thing to do, since it just prolonged the evitable, but she felt she reserved that small right. Beside, she'd only extended the time by a day, so she didn't see the harm. It didn't mean she was less nervous, sitting where she was, once again.

"I'm glad you finally managed to come in, Ms. Sawyer," Dr. Townsend said pleasantly. It didn't take a scientist to know the young woman was nervous. "I have your test result here, which all look standard. The missed period is due to the fact that you're pregnant. Congratulations."

Even though, she'd practically sung it as a mantra for last couple of days, it was still shocking to hear it from the doctor personally. Peyton couldn't find her voice, she just nodded a thank you.

"The reason I called you in was to make sure that everything is alright with the pregnancy," looking at the younger blonde with reassuring eyes. "To know how far along you are I'll need to do an ultrasound. But first I need to ask a few questions."

Peyton nodded, unsure of whether she liked where this was going.

"Have you ever been diagnosed with having high blood pressure?"

Of all the question she expected the doctor to throw at her, she never in a million years expected that one. "No…why?"

"During your last check up, you had quite a high blood pressure above the normal 140 over 90, as well as this time."

"Is that bad?" fearing creped into her heart, as she unconsciously placed a hand protectively over her flat belly.

The doctor, didn't want to lie or scare her patient. "In most cases, many pregnant women with high blood pressure have healthy babies without serious problems, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be prudent here. In some cases, women with high blood pressure, later develop a condition known as Preeclampsia at the 20th week of pregnancy. Which stops after the baby is delivery. But, with proper care and observation your baby will probably be just fine." The young blonde still seemed utterly scared and confused. "Like I said, Preeclampsia may or may not develop, all we have to do now is make sure you and that little one are safe, and deal with that huddle if it arises."

All Peyton could do once again was nod with uncertainty.

"I would like to do an ultrasound to see how far along you are, so we can determine delivery dates," When the girl didn't say anything but just nodded, she continued. "I'll just leave you for a few minutes to set everything up."

---

Peyton watched silently as Dr. Townsend lifted her shirt, and turned on the machine. "Now the gel is a little cold," was the only warning she got before the freezing substance was squirted onto her belly. Maybe she was over reacting, but the cool temperature of the room and the gel, just seemed that much colder.

"Ok…" the doctor said as she moved the machine over the her belly looking for the embryo. "There you go," she pointed out a spot on the monitor to Peyton, "that there, is your baby." It was nice to just see the young woman smile, "Judging from my calculations and what we are seeing now, I'd say you are about 4 weeks along."

Peyton barely heard the doctor talk as she looked at the monitor. A tear falling down her face.

"Now we won't be able to hear a heart beat for another couple of weeks, but everything looks ok for the time being. Would you like a sonograph?"

Finally snapping out of her slightly dazed state, Peyton answered. "Yes please." For now she didn't want to think or worry about anything other than the baby.

Everything else could wait.

_More soon_

_A/N: Not much NP in this chapter, but I can assure you that the Nathan-Rachel story is very significant. Title is **Ordinary People** by **John Legend**. Also, the first parts are 3 weeks from the wedding, and the last scenes are 4 weeks after. As always…_

_Reviews would rock! Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.**

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None.

_A/N: thank you for reading. And an extreme special thanks to my reviewers, You rock immensely._

**Faraway**

The silence and soft music from the stereo, were rudely interrupted by the loud banging on the door followed by: "Nathan Royal Scott. Open this door right now!"

For a few moments Rachel, stayed frozen not sure she should open the door. But after a few irrational moments, and more banging on the door. She knew it was time to face her, so she took a breath and snatched the door open. "Nate's not here. Can I take a message?"

"You know I hoped it wouldn't be true, but damn, you brought skanky back," Brooke stormed passed the red head into the house in a huff, not waiting for an invitation. "What the hell are you doing here, Slut? What? Breaking up his marriage the first time wasn't enough, you're swing for a second?"

She should have known that Haley would go squealing to Brooke about her being back. "Such a warm welcome, B. I feel the love," Rachel drawled bored that she had to go through this again. Besides, if Haley had hoped for some sort of reconciliation she was sadly mistaken. Nathan was pathetically and completely in love with Peyton, it wasn't even funny anymore.

"It wasn't meant to be, Gatina." Brooke countered, hand on her hips, brown eyes blazing. "So why don't you crawl back to your little hole and die there!"

It hurt hearing those words coming from the closest thing she had had to a best friend in high school, but Rachel couldn't let her know that, "Look, if Saint Haley had a problem with me, why are you the one here yelling?"

"'cause I'm not afraid of beating your skanky as that's why!"

"Fine, bring it on then," Rachel figured that Brooke was being on the irrational side of angry, so she needed to make her point. "But know this Brookie, your _precious_ Haley was the first one to sign the papers."

"Only because you-"

"-Tried to comfort him, when his wife was to busy threatening him with papers to see that he was hurting too? Yeah, I'm a regular devil with horns and she's the angel with a halo."

"Don't even try to twist it around to make yourself feel better, you were trying to sleep with a married guy that had a kid."

"And he turned me down. If Haley really wanted to work it then, she could have, but she chose to sign those papers. Then, she looked for a scapegoat and guess what: it's Rachel's fault. Why can't people stop villainizing me and stop baby her."

"We-"

"-Listen if you want to wait for him, he'll be back in anytime now, I've got carpets to buy," with that, the red-head grabbed her bag, and walked out of the house leaving Brooke alone.

Nathan headed straight for the fridge for a cold bottle of water, not noticing the petite brunette sitting on the sofa in the living room waiting for him. "Rach?"

"She's not here." Brooke said with deadly calm, something that just wasn't in her nature. "But you and I need to talk."

He could already see the train wreck waiting to happen. "Brooke-"

"-Don't Brooke me," she interrupted, then quickly added, "not like that- but what the hell are you doing Nate?"

"What do you mean?" knowing exactly what she meant but, needing to hear it for himself. It was time they both ironed out everything.

Brooke sighed. "I mean what are you doing to Haley, Nate?" Unable to understand why her friend would let a woman who'd destroyed his marriage back into their lives.

Just a few weeks ago, Haley had been excitedly telling her about her impeding reconciliation with Nathan, only to tell her yesterday that the destructive red-head was in town and living with Nathan, of all people.

"Brooke-"

"-No Nate. Rachel did major damage to your marriage, and it isn't fair to Haley that you parade that skanky slut around in front of her. It still hurt her you know?"

"What hurts her?" he asked surprised at the anger he felt at the statement. He knew how it felt to be constantly blamed for something that didn't really happen. "The fact that she jumped to conclusion and signed the papers because I didn't sleep with Rachel? Brooke quit blaming Rachel for something she didn't do. Yes, she did once preposition me in high school, but backed off as soon as she knew Haley was pregnant. That night you and Haley supposedly saw us, nothing happened."

Brooke had wanted to believe it, but come on, this was Rachel they were talking about. She'd tried taking Lucas from her, lied about her age to get with Cooper then, went after Nathan. So naturally, when she'd seen the red-head and Nate dancing in that seedy bar, her mind was set on believing the worst. And heck, she still believed that Rachel wasn't quite innocent as Nathan had thought she'd been at that moment. But for Nate, she would give the red the benefit of doubt. For now. "Tell me, why it looked like you were getting back together before going MIA, only to come back with Gatina hanging on your arm."

"I'm sorry if that's what Haley thought I was trying to do," truth was he had needed comfort after the engagement, and Haley had offered willingly. Now looking back he had, unfortunately, led her on and that was something he really was sorry for. "I love her. I do, but only as a friend and mother of my child. I respect her, but Rachel has been there for me through a pretty dark few weeks and become a good friend. I think it's only fair that you treat her like she isn't public enemy."

Brooke hated how those honest blue eyes could convince her of anything. Damn those Scott blue eyes. "I just don't think you should trust her."

"Brooke, she's been through a lot the last couple of years. And we both know, as a friend she'd do a lot for you. It maybe hard to trust her, but she misses you Brooke. You're one of the reason she moved back you know," Rachel would probably have his ass later for saying that, but it was time she stopped getting the brunt of the blame for the break of his marriage. "Besides, Rachel and I as a couple would be a hot mess."

Brooke couldn't help laugh at that. If Nathan defended someone so fierce they were probably worth his protection.

***

Peyton hadn't stopped looking at the sonogram since she got it the day before. It was hard to believe that in 8 months she would have a baby. A teary smile grace her face, as she traced the sonogram with her finger tips. She hadn't told anyone yet, because she wanted to he happy for just a while before the explosion of the news rocked their happy world. As much as confirmation was needed, she already knew who the father was. It was Nathan's she could feel it in every bone in her body.

How on earth was she going to tell him that she was pregnant? Because at the moment, she could barely look at him without her heartbreaking at the lie told. Heck, he could barely stand being in the room with her or be civil when around her. How was she suppose to approach him and tell him that, yes she was married to his brother but, she was carrying his child?

"_So if we ever have these drop dead gorgeous kids, what do you think they'll look like?" Peyton asked doodling on the planes of his chest. They'd began discussing babies, lately and she wasn't quite sure whether it was Nathan's subtle hint to her that he was ready for a child or just talking. Either way, it made her nervous and excited all at once. She wasn't looking at him, she was scared she was stepping over bounds they weren't ready for, so she kept her head on his shoulder and focused on her doodling._

_He gently began to playing with her hair. "If it's a girl, she'll probably have green eyes, and raven hair with curls and have me wrapped round her little finger," then he chuckled softly, "hopefully she doesn't inherit your crappy taste in music."_

_Peyton rewarded his with a playful shove, before balancing on an elbow and looking him in the eye, finally confident enough. "How about a boy?"_

"_Blue eyes probably, hair colour is optional. Total momma's boy with a killer jump shot and listens to decent music," smiling at the image that flashed in his mind, of two gorgeous kids being lead around by their cool, but protective older brother James._

_She laughed, "Names?"_

"_Jordan both ways," he teased_

"_Let me think about that…no!"_

_Pulling her closer, he kissed her forehead. "Okay fine. How about Anna Jordan Scott for a girl, and Sawyer … Keith Scott for a boy?"_

_What could she say to that? It all sounded perfect. Ellie had already been honoured by her mom, by Peyton's middle name. So him choosing Anna, had her falling in love with him all over again. Straddling him once again, she captured his lips in a kiss that contained every single emotion and every bit of love she felt for him._

A silent tear, escaped her eye as she run a gentle hand over her stomach. They finally had it, and she couldn't even be sure that they could be happy about it. Their baby was the most beautiful thing that had happened to her in a long time, but it's very existence could only bring drama to their lives.

She'd messed up, she would deny it.

***

Lucas did his best to contain his reaction at the news. Rachel was in town? Not only that, she was living with Nathan. "I'm sure Nate has a good explanation about it."

"About disappearing with _her_ for two weeks last month? And now he's living with her, Lucas. How could he explain that?" Haley paced the room completely frustrated. She was going to admit she was jealous and pissed, that Nathan was doing god knows what with that…bitch!

"I guess this is the part where I should cough and make my presences known right," Rachel commented, leaning on the wall watching them, "but that's kind of forced right? Talk about the devil and she appears, ever heard of that phrase?"

Haley was about to advance out of irrational anger but, Lucas held her back. "Rachel, what are you doing here?"

"Relax, I just came by to remind you guys that it Nate's birthday in a few days," Rachel said, inviting herself and plopping down on the sofa. "I wanted to know what you guys had planned for the occasion. But… judging by the clueless looks on your faces, I'd say you forgot, right?"

It was true and that just made Haley even more pissed. Oh how she despised Rachel. "What does that have to do with why you're here, you could have called."

"Retract the claws kitty-cat," Rachel taunted the smaller brunette, keeping her eyes firmly on Haley and away from Lucas. "How about we be civil, for Nathan's sake."

Lucas knew Rachel was just baiting Haley, but he also knew stepping in would divulge his past with Rachel and no-one was ready for that. He'd hurt her badly, and to be honest he wasn't really ready to face her. "How about you tell us what you had in mind, Rachel?"

"Nate adores Jamie, so I was thinking you could let him spend the night over at Nathan's on the eve of the day as well as the whole day on his birthday. And then you guys can have a happy family dinner."

"I'm just suppose to let Jaime under the same roof as you? No way in hell."

Rachel just sniggered, "okay, Kitty, your going to deprive your son and Nate -"

"- Don't even think of bringing Jamie into this."

Rolling her eyes, Rachel sighed. She wasn't going to fight someone who was being emotional and inconsiderate for nothing. "If I'm the problem, then I won't be around for the sleepover. Just stop thinking about how much you distrust me, and instead think about how much this would help your son and Nathan," that shut her up. "Think about it Haley." She didn't even bother acknowledging Lucas' presence as she left, instead she just walked out, letting them mull it over.

***

Her concentration was so focused on the sonogram once again, that she didn't hear the door close, or sense Lucas as he approached her. The gasp was the only thing that was able to pull her out of her own world.

"Peyton are you…" he whispered, almost too scared to say it. "Are you pregnant?"

The evidence was in her hands she couldn't lie. A silent tears, streamed down her face not knowing what to do. Should she tell him? God, this wasn't the way or the time she had planned to tell him, but the universe always had a way of screwing with her.

"Yes," she whispered in an equally quiet voice.

_More soon_

_A/N: Title is **Faraway** by** Nickleback**. As always…_

_Reviews would rock! Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None

_A/N: Thanks for reading, and super thanks to those who reviewed_

**I Just Can't Stay Away**

Her laughter floating through the house, had him stopping in mid step and just listening. Hate it or love it, Peyton had the most gorgeous laugh he'd ever heard. Haley's laugh was beautiful, but Peyton's just had his heart beating faster and pulse racing anytime he heard it. But unlike the times before, there was a dull ache mixed with the increased pace of his heart beat. He knew one day it would get easier, but at the moment it felt like getting easier, would be completely impossible.

He cautiously, made his way into the kitchen, moving closer to the infectious laughter. There, sitting at the kitchen table was Peyton and Jamie, in a moment that would forever be imprinted in his mind. The two blondes, were creating a masterpiece, art supplies strewn everywhere and a large partially filled canvas covering half the table. It didn't surprise him that Peyton would take it upon herself to give his son a little artistic flare. "Do you think Daddy will like it?" Jamie asked, concerned that his work wasn't good enough for his father.

"Jim Jam," Peyton said earnestly with a little sadness in her eyes. "I'm sure you're dad will love anything you give him. You want to know why?" After getting an emphatic shake of the head, she went on. "Because you're awesome, little dude."

Nathan smiled. It was true, he would love anything his son would give him and not to be biased, his son was beyond awesome.

"My daddy is awesome too," Jamie stated like it was pure fact. His dad was the greatest and no-one could tell him otherwise.

Peyton stopped her sketching abruptly at that, and Nathan noticed a slight tear in her eyes, that caused his heart to jump. He couldn't bring himself to hope that she could care for him. So, he waited with baited breath for her to say something. Anything. To give him a sign, but only got disappointed when she didn't say anything at all, instead settling on a sad smile before returning to her work. He was about to make himself known when, she finally spoke up. "Yeah," her tone barely a whisper, "he sure is."

Instead of feeling the relief he should have felt at her words, he only felt his heart break a little more.

"I think he'll love our present the most Aunt Peyt," Jamie announced, confident of their work. "Because, we are awesome, and daddy is awesome too."

Peyton couldn't help laugh at that. "Okay, kiddo I think that's a little too much awesomeness for Tree Hill."

"I think it's just enough," Nathan commented, unable to stay quiet any longer.

"Daddy!" Jamie didn't waste anytime flying across the room, and flinging himself into his father's waiting arms.

Nathan cleared his throat before, asking with a smile: "How are you doing little man?" his eyes fixed solely on his son, too scared to venture toward the curly blonde.

"Good," Jamie hugged his dad around his neck. "but, you should see our present, it's suppose to be a surprise. Tell him aunt Peyt."

Peyton smiled slightly, "He's been working hard all morning," she confessed softly, "and has been adamant about keeping it a surprise," forcing herself to meet those heartbreaking blue eyes.

For a moment, Nathan and Peyton just stared, unable to look away even though it hurt more than anything they could ever experience. The pain in his eyes made her sick, knowing she was the one who caused it, and he wasn't mistaken by the longing lacing those olive green orbs, but couldn't quite let himself believe in it. Because believing it would make it real, which would hurt more.

He couldn't take it anymore, so he opted to divert his eyes to his son. "Where's Haley?"

"She had to go and invigilate Saturday detention at the school today, so she asked me to watch him," she answered, seeing it as a way of getting out of the suffocating situation. It was in no way Nathan's fault, if anything it was her guilt eating at her. Guilt of knowing she was carrying his baby and not telling him. "But, since you're here, you guys should have a little guy's day in. I'll just get out of here."

"Stay aunt Peyt," Jamie implored, those blue eyes a mirror image of his father's. "You promised we would bake cookies."

Having those eyes, already had the power to manipulate her six ways to Sunday, but combine it with being so adorable, he was laying the guilt on thick. But, no, she couldn't stay. "How about I take a rain check, and add ice-cream to that? Besides, hanging with your dad the whole morning is so much more fun than hanging out with me." Bribing she knew, but she needed to disappear before breaking apart.

Jamie descended from his dad's arms, rounding the table. "Promise?"

"How about a kiss to seal the deal?" Peyton asked, before planting a soft kiss on the boy's forehead, and getting a kiss on the cheek in return. "Love you, Jim Jam."

"Love you too, aunt Peyt."

"Why don't you and your daddy get out of here so I can clean this up?" The little blonde didn't wait to be told twice, rushing to his father and pulling him out of the room. Nathan only lingered slightly, before letting his son pull him out of the room.

As soon as she heard to front door close, Peyton allowed herself to drop heavily on the chair. It hurt immensely that they were now reduced to stilted conversation, when they had been, for the last three years, nothing but flirtatious or witty. She'd even give anything to have one of their crazy arguments, instead of what they had now.

_Breaking away from the kiss that still managed to leave her completely reeling and breathless, she looked at Nathan completely dazed and confused about what just happened. Did she like the kiss? Yes. Did she want him to do it again? Hell yes. But they hadn't even established what they were yet. Were they friends, were they more? Could they _really _be more with her being one of Haley's best friends and him being her ex-husband?"What the hell was that?"_

_His eyes were still on her lips."Quit over analyzing and just enjoy it," catching her off guard once again, he kissed her until a small contented sigh escaped her lips. "Besides, I couldn't resist," kissing her gently before pulling back. "Those x-rated lips of yours are practically begging for it, even on stand-by."_

_She was debating on whether to smack him or blush at that confession. Shit! Were those butterflies fluttering-_

_To late to do anything, he was kissing her again, and damn, it good enough to be sinful._

She was being pathetic she knew but, the sketch in her hands now was one depicting one of the happiest and most life changing days in her life. The day Nathan decided they needed to try again. He had taken his time, when he was anything but one to be patient. This time they had started with friendship and love and built on that. Sex wasn't just sex anymore, each time it meant more and pulled her deeper. Not once did he play her after kissing her, he was with her and only her.

What went wrong, people would probably ask? Everything… and nothing.

In the sketch she was sitting on his lap, forehead to forehead, eyes closed. A speech bubble from him read simply: _I'm tired of fighting it. _Right at that moment, she was tired of fighting it too.

"Curly, you in here?" Rachel voice called through the house, making Peyton hastily hide the sketch and wiping away the tears she wasn't sure she'd cried.

Clearing her clogged throat, she hollered back: "In here," knowing it would be loud enough to follow. As much as Peyton tried to hate the Red, the past few days with them planning Nathan's birthday celebration, had made her dislike her a little less. "What's up?"

"I could ask you the same thing Blondie, red-eyes are a dead give away for crying," Rachel plopped down on the bed, beside the blonde. Did she still have issues with the blonde? Most definitely, for breaking Nathan's heart and for having a hand in breaking hers, but being civil never hurt anyone. Besides, she was just doing this for Nate, at least that's what she told herself.

Peyton wasn't an idiot. Just because they were fairly civil to each other and she didn't quite hate Rachel, she knew the red-head cared jack squat about her crying. "You don't care, so I won't share. Besides, you're here for something, right?"

"I need you to do a sketch for me. None of your morbid, slit-my-wrists, dark, depressing one's, but something of the happy cheerful type," Rachel said, "Think you can handle it?"

Peyton rolled her eyes, maybe she should rethink the whole despising angle again. "What do you have in mind?"

"A basketball motif, something that can go on walls and look nice," Rachel dictated. "Young, but not too young."

Peyton couldn't help chuckle, "I think Nate's passed the themed room phase, don't you think?"

"Can you do it?" Not ready to divulge something, this top secret to the blonde unless absolutely necessary.

"I'll do two and you can pick," only agreeing because it definitely had something to do with Nathan. And themed rooms screamed Jamie, but that was curious since facts were, Rachel hated kids.

Rachel offered her a smile, "Thanks Blondie," getting up to head for the door, but turning round remembering something. "Could you also maybe do a basketball drawing of Nathan, whatever you pick is fine."

Before, Peyton could even protest, Rachel was already out of the room and down the hall calling goodbye. Offer the girl a hand, she wants to take the whole damn arm!

***

After calling Haley and telling her where they were going, Nathan and Jamie headed for the Pier and straight to the ice-cream parlour. Sure, Haley would probably have a fit for letting Jamie have ice-cream before lunch, but he was willing to bare the brunt of it. He didn't see his son as often as he would have liked, so if he spoilt the little boy now and then, it didn't hurt.

There next destination was the River court. Of course, as expected, Lucas was there with Skillz playing one on one.

Seeing him just reminded him that he lost Peyton. He thought he was doing great forgetting her, but seeing her again, hearing her laugh and seeing that glint in her eyes, made it abundantly clear that he wasn't even close to being over her.

"_Come on Sawyer," looking_ _at his watch, worrying for their reservation. "What's taking so long?" He waited a few beats before, decided that he probably needed to get her downstairs himself or they would never get out of the house. But, her tall tale footfalls on the stairs and him abort the plan and sigh in relief._

"_Relax Scott, I'm ready," stuffing her phone inside the black clutch purse Brooke had given her for her birthday._

_Rolling his eyes, he looked up ready to tell her what a girl she was being, but the words died on his lips. Rather, what he was thinking, wasn't what came pouring out of his mouth. "You look hot."_

_A blush crept up her neck at the way he was looking at her. _

_He just couldn't help but devour her with his eyes, because she looked beyond ravishing. That plain black satin dress, hem ending a few inches above the knees, hugged her subtle curves beautifully. No cleavage was in sight, but the black leather jacket was doing wicked things to him. Seriously, was she trying to torture him. And those black strappy sandals, elongated her never ending legs even further._

"_You don't look too bad yourself, handsome," walking toward the door, she expected Nathan to follow but, he remained rooted. "Weren't you the one hollering about us being late?" raising an eyebrow, in question._

_He grinned, "yeah," reaching for the handle to push the door closed again. He didn't let her ask the question that was on her tongue. Instead, he covered her mouth with his own and kissed her with every single ounce of passion and desire he felt in his body. She responded after the initial shock wore off, with equal emotion._

_Sexual tension was a bitch._

_The only reason he broke the kiss, was because of lack of oxygen. "We'll be late…" she said breathless, dinner the last thing on her mind, as he began placing warm kisses on her neck and pushed the jacket off her shoulder._

"_Screw dinner," Nathan breathed against her pulse point. "We both know the moment you walked down those stairs wearing that dress, there was no way I was going to let you out of the house," backing her against the door. His hips against hers._

_Biting her lip, she looked into his eyes hoping this wasn't just lust. _

_He could tell, from her nervous nibbling her bottom lip. He really wished he could call what he was feeling at the moment was just lust. It would have made things so much easier. But it wasn't. With Peyton, it would never just be sex. "It's not, Peyton." kissing her gently, despite the protest from his raging hormones._

_Peyton smiled, and he knew she understood. Just because what they were going to do was pretty monumental in their newly formed relationship, didn't mean it wouldn't be anything less that Hot._

Haley had walked in, finding Nathan sitting where she'd left him, with a surreal smile on his face. "Nate… Are you okay?"

"Yeah… So what's up?" he prompted, after shaking his head to clear his mind of the memories.

Haley shifted her feet, nervous at the impeding conversation. "Nate…" she began, but trailed off losing her nerve. "I…you know what, doesn't matter." She couldn't put her heart out there to get broken, once was enough.

He knew she was lying, her eyes betrayed her turmoil. "Hales, we both know it matters. You're wringing your hands, biting your lower lip and jumpy, Hales, I know you. Something's on your mind, what's up?"

"Nate… do you still. Do you still have feelings for me?"

Nathan didn't know what to say. Either way he tried to slice it, Haley would get hurt. But she needed the truth. He owed her that much. "Hales…"

"Just be honest okay. I need to know whether I'm holding onto something that is hopeless, Nate. Just tell me, please."

This was probably going to destroy her heart, but it was as close to the truth as he could possibly tell her and stop her from holding on to false hopes. "I love you, Hales. And I always will, but not in the way your asking me."

"Wow."

A heavy silence fell between them, Haley trying to deal with disappointment and Nathan looking for something to say that could salvage the situation. "Hales I'm sorry-"

"-Is there someone else?" It wasn't something she really wanted to know, but she just-

"If your asking me whether it's Rachel, then no it's not."

"There's someone else?"

"There was." He admitted, because unlike Peyton, what he had felt and still felt wasn't a mistake. "We aren't together anymore."

Haley held back tears as she saw love shine in those sapphire depth. There was hurt too, but love was what prominently shined in his eyes. The only good part about it, was it wasn't Rachel that captured his heart.

***

The sketches were ready, but she really didn't know if it was a good thing to drop them off personally. Rachel stayed with Nathan, and probability of running into him was high. Playing avoidance was juvenile but, seeing him hurt more than it helped.

"Hey beautiful," Lucas said, gently kissing her lips. "How was your day?"

Peyton faked a smile. _Talk about avoidance. _Yes, she'd avoided him the whole day, unable to deal with him finding out the night before. "Good," which was a lie. It was pretty crappy, but Luke didn't need to know that. "You?"

"Beyond good," he smiled pulling her close. "Find out your wife is pregnant, could put any guy on cloud 99. It wasn't a dream, was it?"

Gulping, she stiffened slightly in his arms. "No," her voice completely toneless, accepting the kiss he placed on her forehead. She loved him, she did. Peyton just wasn't in love with him. And, carrying a baby that she was positive wasn't his … made her heart ache.

However, maybe she just wished and needed to believe it was Nathan's, because she selfishly wanted a part of him with her always.

"So…I think we don't need to buy Nathan a gift after all," Lucas said into her hair.

"Is being cheap back in style or something?" Truth was, she'd already bought Nathan's gift, and him spring a _No Gift Policy _was pissing.

"No… just," he looked for appropriate words to say. "Just leave it up to me, babe."

She hardly let the other words sink in except for _babe_, because that was always what Nathan called her. It just seemed out of place coming from Lucas' lips. Peyton, let a gentle smile lace her lips, as she caressed her belly.

_Love you, Sawyer? Babe, I'm crazy about you._

* * *

_More soon_

_A/N: Lots of NP moments. Next UD will probably be Friday or Saturday. Shout out to cabot007, thank you for the amazing reviews. Yes, there will be more NP, trust me I love these guys. Title is **I Just Can't Stay Away** by **The Veronicas**. As always…_

_Reviews would rock! Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.**

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None

_a/n: Thanks for reading and the reviews. This one is pretty long and next chapter will be up in about an hour. _

**Nothing Lasts Forever**

As much as Lucas now knew she was pregnant, she didn't think it was fair to bring him to an appointment without completely ruling out Nathan as the father. There were on two possibilities, either he was the father or Nathan was, and the truth would have to come out. If there was one thing she would never do, was let Lucas believe that it was his child. And as for Nathan, if he was ever to find out that the child was his and she chose to pass it off as Lucas', he would never forgive her.

"Ms. Sawyer," Dr. Townsend greeted with a warm smile as the curly blond hair woman entered her office.

Peyton smiled back, taking a seat. "Please call me Peyton."

"You can call me Nicole then," the doctor replied, with an even brighter smile, happy that Peyton was finally getting comfortable. "How are you?"

Peyton ran a hand over her belly, something that seemed to happen a lot lately. "Worried."

"Why is that, are experiencing anything uncomfortable?" Nicole reverted back to doctor mood at the young woman's simple statement.

"Well, not that I'm looking forward to it or anything, but I… I haven't gotten any morning sickness. And I was wondering if that's, you know, normal?" she felt kind of stupid about asking the question, but she just wanted everything to be ok. To be honest, the Preeclampsia possibility was still worrying her, and she just needed things to be ok.

Nicole nodded in understanding, "It nothing to worry about, Peyton. Only about 70% of pregnant women get morning sickness," letting the woman breath a sigh of relief.

That was out of the way, now it was time for the big fish, "I was wondering… when a paternity can be performed on the baby." Okay it was out there, now all she had to do was wait. She was waiting for some judgement to cover the older woman's face, but no a single trace could be seen. If anything she looked more understanding.

"Well, testing can be done as early as the end of the first trimester of pregnancy, starting in the 10th week by the CVS, Chorionic Villus Sampling, procedure. There is also Amniocentesis that is performed in the second trimester, anywhere from the 14th-20th weeks of pregnancy. " Nicole told her, only continuing when she got a nod. "Prenatal DNA testing, just like any other prenatal test, does involve some risk associated with how the testing is conducted, whether amniocentesis or CVS. There is increased risk of miscarriage."

Peyton felt like her world was spinning, and she was about to be sick. _Miscarriage? _

"Peyton," Nicole asked trying to gain the young woman's attention once again. It wasn't a crime to want to know the paternity of the child, she saw it everyday, what probably had the young woman scared was the risk of miscarriage. It was enough to worry about Preeclampsia, but now there was the worry about not knowing the father.

"Sorry I just…"

"Don't be sorry. How about we have this conversation again after another month," she went on to lighten the tone. "Since you're here, how about we do a check up?"

***

Rachel was first to crash in through the door breathless and sweaty from their run, Nathan coming in seconds after equally breathless.

"You cheated," he accused.

Rachel laughed, "oh please it's not my fault you fell for the sprain ankle trick," still trying to catch a breath. She liked a good run, but hey, it had been a while. And trying to keep the pace with someone who did daily mile runs, took a lot out of her. "Have you learned nothing in 23 years of life?"

"Yeah, never leave a woman stranded, should have know you'd use a cheap trick," he hollered over, tossing her a bottle of water.

Taking a refreshing sip, she spoke: "A cheap trick would have been me lifting up my shirt and flashing you." Picking up her camera she took a shot of him.

"What was that?"

"Documenting a sore loser," she said simply, "Besides, you do look hot sweaty. Almost as good as me."

He smirked with a raised eyebrow, "Red, you're the one who's documenting perfection not the other way round."

When Rachel had suggested a joint run in the morning he was sceptical that she would keep up, but the red-head definitely had stamina. It was also nice to have someone to run with rather than doing it alone. In high school he's running partner was Lucas, but now due to unavoidable circumstances, that wasn't a option.

No matter what people thought of her, Rachel was pretty damn amazing. She was a straight shooter, understood he wasn't one to air his feeling out in the open, yet found ways to have a heart to heart, put up with a rather cold reception from Brooke and still managed to remain so… _Rachel._ Lucas, was probably introduced to all these things, and the moron let it go.

He wasn't being bitter, just frank. Peyton was everything to him and he loved her intensely, but Lucas' perfect match was Rachel, not the blonde. Peyton, though she didn't seem to know it belonged to him, they complemented each other and understood each other on levels no-one could ever touch.

Lucas and Rachel, cancelled out each others flaws. It was just too bad his brother couldn't see that. Maybe he was being biased about it, but Rachel had become, even though he would utter it out loud, his best friend. Other than Brooke, she was on his '_I'm her best friend break her heart and I'll break your face_' list, rounding the number to two. Haley, was a given. He'd always want her to be happy. Peyton… do you even have to ask. Truth be told, if Lucas broke her heart-

"Excited about having Jamie for the next 48 hours?" Rachel asked, knowing that his mind was wondering to places that would bring a sombre stop to his good mood. It was the eve of his birthday, anything that would dampen his spirits would have a very pissed off red-head after their ass.

He smiled, something that always happened at the mere mention of his son. "Like you need to ask. I should ask you if your ready for it," casting a sideway glance at her. Rachel as much as she tried to hide it, didn't hate kids, more like had a phobia of all things children. He was actually pretty excited about introducing his kid to the latest addition to his Aunt list.

"Actually, I'll let you fellas have a guys night," Rachel lied, knowing it wasn't the case. As scared as she was, she wanted to meet the boy who managed to bright light to his father's eyes just by the mere mention of his name. Fact were as much as Haley was being civil all week, it didn't mean she would want her around her son. Good thing was she found something to occupy herself, that surprisingly didn't involve alcohol or sex. Call it the Nathan influence.

"Rache-"

When he used her name, she knew he didn't like the idea, "-relax sunshine, it has nothing to do with Booze or Sex. Besides, I'll probably see the little guy tomorrow."

"Okay," inching closer to her, invading her personal space.

"What's with the invasion of personal space?" she asked, not sure what the heck was going on, but Nathan was definitely up to something, his sapphire orbs screamed it.

He smiled, "this," in a quick move grabbing her around the waist and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Okay hotshot, put me down," she ordered knowing what was coming next.

"And miss my chance to get revenge? Not a chance Red."

"Na-" was all she managed to get out before being engulfed by the cool depths of the pool. Nathan was doubled over laughing, when she resurfaced. "Ass!" she yelled, splashing water at him, which barely reached him.

"What can I say Rach, paybacks a bitch." still winded from his laugh.

***

Jamie gently touched Peyton's hand, concern covering his eyes. "Aunt Peyt, are you okay?"

Was she okay? _No_. Both emotionally and physically. She was worried and tired. Worried, that the possibility of Preeclampsia was still hanging over her head like a dark cloud. Her blood pressure was still pretty high, she'd even checked again when she went home, and confirmed that it indeed was high. Tired because, well it did come with pregnancy. But, have Jamie there was the one thing making it better. "Yeah, buddy, I'm good. Just a little tired."

"Maybe you should sleep. Mommy said when you sleep, you feel better," still worried for his Aunt. He may be five, but he was pretty sure he knew when something was wrong.

He was so much like his father, it was scary. Always concerned about people around him before himself. Peyton promised to bake cookies and have ice-cream with him today, and her taking a nap though she wanted to, would break that promise. "I'd promised to bake cookies, and hang out with you today, Jim Jam. Not going to break any promises."

"I know. You lie down, and I can draw until my daddy gets here," he suggested.

It was true, Nathan would be picking him within the hour, but she really wasn't sure she could just sleep 'til then. Lying down however, didn't mean sleep. "Okay, but only if you promise not to wander off and keep by my side at all time."

"I promise."

***

When Rachel walked into the house the next day, she found it filled with laughter. One a rich baritone, that could only belong to Nathan, and the other a child's, Jamie's, to be specific. A smile could help touch her lips as she took in the sight in front of her, father tickling hearty laughter from his son. It was the picture of perfection, than needed to be captured forever. Quietly, she took out a camera, ensuring she didn't disturb the moment, found a good angle and snapped the picture. "Morning guys."

"Rachel," Nathan acknowledged, a laugh still in his voice. "You're back."

"That I am," she replied, eyes focused on the blonde haired boy that reminded her so much of Lucas, except for the dark blue eyes that belonged solely to Nathan. Jamie had to be the most beautiful little boy she'd ever seen.

"You're pretty," Jamie announced, in that tone he assigned to things he knew was fact, before turning to his father with questioning eyes. "Who is she?"

Nathan smiled, "she …is your aunt Rachel, one of my best friends," he knew Rachel would understand that meant she _was _his best friend. "Why don't you go over and say hi," setting the boy down, who immediately went over to Rachel, who crouched down to be at eye level with him.

"It nice to meet you aunt Rachel," Jamie said, his eyes squinting in a way that reminded her of Lucas, and if anything he probably picked it up from the blonde uncle too.

As if finding what he was looking for, he wound his arms round her neck and kissed her cheek in utter silence. Rachel was holding back emotional tears, at the sweet gesture. It was as if the boy had known exactly what she had needed.

Smiling a watery smile, she looked into those blue eyes that seemed to see so much, "thank you, Sweetie."

The little boy blushed slightly, "Daddy's making pancakes for breakfast, you want some?"

"For the kiss and you, of course I want some," avoiding Nathan's eye 'cause she'd see the knowing in them.

These Scott boys were going to be the death of her, especially the littlest one. He was absolutely adorable.

If perception had it right, his son had a crush on Rachel, which was kind of cute. All through breakfast, the two seemed to click, like they'd known each other for years. With Jamie, the red-head seemed softer and gentle, which for her was vulnerability. It meant two things, she was comfortable and trusted him enough to know it was safe to show him that side, and she was completely taken by his son.

Nathan wasn't surprised when Jamie, after playing ball and taking countless of pictures, asked if they could play in the pool, Rachel readily agreed. To be honest, he was enjoying every moment with his son, a pre-emptive strike to what was yet to come later on tonight, at the dinner party Lucas was hosting in his honour.

"Come on guys, I've got one shot left and it can't go to waste," she announced, when she finally convinced Jamie to get out of the pool. "Huddle up."

"Gatina, set the timer and get over here, Jamie wants a picture of the three of us," Nathan ordered.

"Yeah!" Jamie seconded enthusiastically.

With those blue eyes, looking at her how could she say no? Quickly setting the timer and camera on the tripod, she rushed back and nestled herself beside Nathan.

This picture was definitely getting framed.

***

The closer it got to eight the more anxious, Peyton got. It had been an entire month since she would have to spend more than 15 minutes with Nathan. She hadn't known how much his avoidance of her had helped with the process of forgetting him, until now. Smoothing down the dress for what felt like the umpteenth time, she tried to calm her nerves. She could do poker face, he didn't know she was pregnant and even though they weren't together, she would make damn sure he enjoyed it. Finding out she was pregnant, would definitely spoil the night for him.

"That's the third dress you've worn, babe," Lucas breathed in her ear, as his arms wrapped around her waist, hand resting on her belly. "You look great," he assured her, kissing her exposed shoulder.

Closing her eyes, she tried to chase away the fact that, the blonde Scott brother just didn't have the same effect on her as Nathan did. If, Nathan had done the same thing, called her babe, wrapped his arms around her, breathed in her ear and kissed her exposed shoulder? Dear Lord, she would be melting, and butterflies would be fluttering crazily around her stomach. It was unfair to Lucas, but she couldn't help it. _Babe_, was just Nathan's word. "Thanks," she offered a smile. He wasn't letting go though, "I should probably check on Brooke."

Lucas didn't want to dwell, but had she just brush him off? Maybe it was just the hormones acting up, she was a month along after all.

"You ready?" Nathan asked, as they made there way up the walk way to the Lucas and Peyton Scott household. Was it wrong for him to be sick to his stomach at the thought of having to see Lucas and Peyton together?

Rachel rolled her eyes, despite all her instincts telling her to make a run for it if she wanted her sanity. "Are you?" she countered, avoiding the question like her life depended on it.

Was he? No, but he also couldn't wait to see her either.

_This was the last place he wanted to be, but he needed to pick Jamie up. Why Haley chose this day to have Jamie hang with Peyton he didn't know. Okay maybe she was, after their conversation, been avoiding him and he really couldn't blame her for it. But, now that he was walking through the seemingly empty house, he would have given anything to have that awkwardness compared to the impending one with a certain curly blonde woman._

_Listening close, he heard soft music coming from a room upstairs, it was a given that where music was Peyton would be found, no matter how old Peyton was. With every step toward the room, he mentally prepared himself for an awkward situation. But that wasn't necessary, because when he pushed the slightly open door, the blond in question was asleep, along with his son nestled beside her._

_It had to be the most heartbreaking sight he'd ever seen. He could have had this with her, that is, if she'd just given him more time to sort himself out. But, she hadn't, and he didn't have _this. _He'd always believed that when the time came for them to come clean about there relationship, Jamie would understand and accept it. As well as, the times the boy would stay over, he'd walk in and see them in a simple yet beautiful moment. He wasn't an eternal optimist but, he'd really hoped for a that future. And this moment was just a reminder or rather a glimpse at what could've been._

_Stepping lightly, into the room careful to rouse the two blondes, he crouched down and just took her in. No matter how many times he'd done it, he could never get over how beautiful Peyton was as she slept. Always peaceful and completely open and vulnerable, that was breathtaking. He never got to watch anymore, that privilege belonged to Lucas now._

_Without hesitation, he lifted fingers, and brushed a few curls of hair away from her face. Like always she sighed and nestled closer to the pillow, making his smile in gentle sadness. It was the way he would wake her each morning when they were still together; brush a few strands of hair from her face and place a soft kiss on her forehead, of course she'd always sighed and nestled closer to him, before opening those olive green orbs._

_He didn't feel ashamed at being caught, when sleep filled green eyes fluttered open to look at him. He expected her to move away from him like his touch burnt but, she remained in a relax state just watching him, as he watched her. _

_It was wrong, for him to caress her face like this, with her lying in the bed she probably shared with her husband, with his son sleeping so close by. But, he couldn't help it. He comforted himself by the fact that it was just a touch, not the searing kiss he was holding back. His thumb, gently brushed her bottom, in obvious show of his longing and restrained intent. When her eyes fluttered closed, he groaned. Whether doing it on purpose or not, she was making it difficult to honour her marriage to his brother and not just kiss her. The betrayal before the wedding was enough._

Before anymore was said, the door swung open, revealing the object of his musing.

"Hey Rachel," Peyton spoke after a short silence, "Birthday boy," addressing Nathan with a genuine smile. Like she said, it was his day and she'd be damned if she was the one to ruin it. "Everyone's here already."

Rachel rolled her eyes, blonde really wasn't as discreet as she tried to appear. The love she had for Nathan was practically bursting into fireworks in her green orbs. This night was going to suck for her though, so why not have a little fun? Slipping an arm through, Nathan's, "Oh come on Curly, we both know he is way past being a _boy_." sending the brunette a flirtatious wink in good fun. He'd understand.

Nathan knew what Rachel was playing at, and honestly he'd let her play her game if it helped her get through the night. Besides, seeing a slight jealous glint in Peyton's eye didn't hurt too much. Juvenile he knew, but he couldn't help it. "Lead the way."

As expected Rachel avoided Lucas like he had an extremely contagious disease, even though the blonde Scott brother seemed intent on talking to her. Most of her night was spent trying to get Brooke back as a friend, and she was happy to report that things were looking up.

The night didn't go as bad as he thought it would, in fact it was a pretty fantastic night if he could say so himself. Brooke and Rachel seemed to be getting along, and Peyton and himself seemed to be getting on some middle ground. Conversation and laughter, filled the night as well as food and drinks.

"Okay enough talking," Brooke announced, interrupting Lucas mid joke. "Time for presents. First up…mine." pushing the present in front of him. She was pretty proud about what she got him. " I guess a speech should be made, I'll keep it short though. Nathan, you are an amazing friend. I love you, happy birthday."

Nathan smiled kissing her cheek and whispering a thank you before, ripping into the present. A sports watch and a large bottle of his favourite cologne. A mixture of expensive and simplicity. He loved it.

"Okay, I don't have a speech prepared but, happy birthday," Haley was next, giving him a brief hug. The simplicity of the gift, broke his heart. A antique pocket watch, with a picture of the three of them. "Hey at least you'll never forget the time."

Everyone let go of a gentle laugh. Rachel was next. "Well, since it's all family and close friends here. I guess I should announce this to everyone. Today, Jason, Nate's Agent, called and as of next week Saturday, Nate starts up practice with the Charlotte Bobcats."

"You're serious?" Nate asked to afraid to believe it. He'd been hoping the Bobcats would look him up again.

Rachel smirked, "as a heart attack."

Everyone broke into congratulations, as Rachel got the tightest hug she'd ever received from Nathan, "hey it's all you, hot shot. All you." she whispered in his ear, as he released her.

"You know your awesome right?" Nathan told her.

"Like it was ever up for debate," rolling her eyes and pushing him back into the sofa, "now for present number one." handing him the box, wrapped in deep blue cloth.

Everyone gasped as the blue cloth fell away revealing, a beautiful leather photo album, with the words : _Nate's 24th__ Birthday,1 June, 2012. _The note scribble on the first page was obviously something personal, so he quickly flipped passed it, on to the next page. The first picture was one he hadn't known she'd taken, of him and Jaime laughing as he tickled the little boy, in black and white. Followed by pictures she'd continually taken the whole day. How she'd done all this in the past couple of hours he didn't know, but it was definitely a beautiful gift. The pictures impeccably taken and wording fitting for each photograph.

"The day was awesome, thought you'd want it archived," was all she said nonchalantly. She didn't want to get emotional.

Nathan knew this too, and didn't say anything. He just squeezed her hand in appreciation before, drawing everyone away from their shock. "Okay whose next."

Peyton wasn't really sure her present would mean as much as what the three ladies had offered up, but she cleared her throat and passed him the box. "Happy birthday Nate."

He smiled that smiled that was only for her despite the whole world watching before, unwrapping the box. In it were CDs, he'd been telling her he wished he had, but hadn't bought. Ranging from Kanye West to Eminem. The last, however was an infamous Peyton Sawyer mix, with a simple drawing and the words: _Us Against the world. _

"_Nate, give me one reason we should even try this again, we sucked the first time," Peyton paced the room, green eyes terrified at failing again._

_It felt really good, and that's why she was running. But, there was no way he was running anymore. Grabbing her hand gently, and pulling her on to his lap, he spoke: "I'm tired of fighting this," he started as simply as he could, resting his forehead against hers. "We both feel it babe, it there and we have running from if. Friendships great Peyt, you know it is, but I want more and I know you do too."_

_Peyton entwined his fingers with her own. "That why we shouldn't ruin it. What if we try and just crash and burn, I don't want to lose what we already have Nate."_

"_I'm not letting you run again, 'cause you know what I'll just run after you," he said half serious, with a small grin. "It's us against the world, Sawyer."_

_Peyton still seemed sceptical, "Even if we don't work out?"_

"_Like is said," kissing the crook of her neck, "Us against the world."_

"…and this," Peyton said taking out another package. "Jamie and I have been working on in the past few weeks."

He smiled, accepting the large package and immediately unwrapping it. It was a beautiful collage, created by the two of the most important people in his life. Small snap shots of his life scattered around, some photographs, some sketched by Peyton and coloured in by his son. Even the frame was customized, by the two.

Nathan didn't know, what to say without exposing his feelings, Rachel could tell. Therefore to avoid any type of problems, she spoke up. "Nice work Curly, and no morbidity I'm impressed."

"Way to ruin the moment, slut," Brooke rolled her eyes, sometimes the red-head really stuck her foot in her mouth.

"I'm I sensing Midnight Madness 2," Nathan asked, trying to lighten the mood. As expected all four women in the room rolled there eyes at that.

"Not even on your birthday, will you get that fantasy fulfilled hot shot."

Lucas took the moment, to make an announcement. "Well to be honest, I didn't get you a present Nate, but something much better. Everyone should get a glass."

Peyton had a bad feeling about what was coming next, when Lucas placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. An unconscious hand held her belly, this wasn't good at all.

Rachel, from her place next to Nathan, knew what was coming next, and gently squeezed Nathan's thigh knowing he was going to need it as much as she did. It hurt to see the unrestrained happiness in Lucas eyes, in fact it felt like a good kick in the stomach. All she wanted to do was run away, but she couldn't be selfish, this was going to suck harder for her friend than for her.

Haley noticed the hand on Nathan thigh, and a whole new jealousy wash over her. She really wished she could just up and get over her husband - _ex-_husband. It killed her to be there, but she was doing this for him. He didn't need her drama on his birthday.

"Congratulations, Nate," Lucas raised his glass, to Nathan, "You're going to be an uncle."

Peyton eyes immediately meet Nathan's blues, as the wine glass shattered under the pressure of his hand.

_More soon_

_A/N: That has got to be the hardest chapter to write, but phew, it's over! I'm 50/50 on this one, so please, feedback would be legendary. The title is **Nothing Lasts Forever** by **Maroon 5**. As always..._

Reviews would rock! Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own".


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton, Strong Nathan and Rachel friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None.

_A/N: Thanks for the reading and reviewing. Hope you like this one._

**Hurt**

"Okay, blue eyes enough moping," Rachel announce plopping down on Nathan's bed, head on his torso, "we're too hot to be this down on a Friday especially when you start practice with the team tomorrow."

Nathan sighed, "she's pregnant, Red."

"Really?" she replied, not sympathetic. "I was there Nate. And besides, it was bound to happen since that's what married people do. They get married and get pregnant. What did you expect her to do? Stay child less for the rest of her days with Lucas?"

Nathan really didn't want her being so brutally honest right now, but what he wanted and what he needed were two different thing. "I knew it would happen, it's just I did think it would be-"

"- this soon?" She interrupted, getting under the sheets with him. "They had a honeymoon, emphasis on the honey. Look, I get it came as a shock, and sucks even worse that they announced the happy news on your birthday, but Nate you just got your dream of playing in the NBA back. Don't waste it."

Nathan really wanted to up and let it go, but how could he when Peyton was pregnant. He'd at least thought that he'd be long over her when Luke and her decided to have a child, not barely a month after losing her. What was worse was the fact that she hadn't given him any warning about it, just dropped it on his lap and hoped he would deal. How many times could a guy get his heart broken in the span of 4 months, without being completely destroyed. "What about you, you've been hangover for the last week, I hardly call that dealing."

"I admit I don't deal," She confessed casually. "Especially if my coping buddy decides to fall into depression."

Nathan couldn't help smile. They were each other's coping buddies, since they were the only one who knew what they were going through. As much as he was becoming a hermit at the news, Rachel was digressing back to her erratic behaviour. If anything she was going back to holding back things, and closing herself off in a façade of nonchalance.

"Rach, -"

"- But, I'm not hangover today," she pointed out, like it was a great achievement. "You want to know why? I've finished a little project, also known as your second birthday presents, so get your gorgeous ass up and follow me."

Pulling away the sheet and tugging at his hand. "You really think another present is in my best interest?" Nathan asked, but let her pull him out of bed and lead him down the hallway.

"This one will put a smile on your face," she assured, before glancing back at him, "hopefully."

He raised an eyebrow in scepticism, "Okay Gatina, make me smile."

"If you hate it, just say it I won't break," she said before opening the door, and standing aside to let him in.

Rolling his eyes, he walking in passed her and stopped in her tracks. "You did this?" he asked in disbelief as he walked through the fully furnished bedroom, for Jamie. Basketball themed wallpaper lined the walls, a wooden half court made up the floor as one wall remained half blank covered in black board and the other half covered with the beautiful birthday present made by his son and Peyton. A framed photo of himself, Haley and Jamie sat on the bedside table, along with a picture of himself and Jamie and one of himself, Jamie and Rachel.

"I want to take full and total credit but, it kind of a joint effort," she blabbed, when he remained silent after the short question.

He turned around, "You are… something else, Red." still taking in the room in utter amazement. She was just full of surprises.

"And then some," she added, taking his hand once again. "There is more," pulling him down the stairs to his mini gym.

The equipment was where they normally were, but the one of the walls right in front of the weight bench was covered in a larger that life sketch of him making a dunk in his trademark number 23. It didn't take a genius to know who made the sketch that Rachel blew up. It was actually kind of ironic, that the picture was right in front of the weight bench.

"I believe in you," Rachel told him, wrapping an arm round his waist, "and it doesn't look like I'm the only one." referring to the picture that had taken a lot of thought and consideration to draw. "So today, we celebrate by taking that cute son of yours out for ice-cream and tomorrow you rock that practice like only Nathan Scott can."

_She _still cared, but that didn't change the fact that she was still pregnant with his brother's baby. It meant something to him, it did. But right now, it just wasn't enough.

***

"_How could you do that!" Peyton yelled, unable to wrapped her head around the fact that Lucas could think announcing to the world that she was pregnant was a good idea._

_Lucas looked at her not knowing why she was pissed. "Peyton your pregnant, and that's good news. Why do you want to hide it."_

"_I don't want to hide it," Peyton told him, which really wasn't a lie. "But I would think my husband would like tell me before making a big announcement like that."_

_Lucas sighed, "I didn't think you'd mind. Besides, I don't understand why your so mad!"_

"_I'm mad because you've decided to think for me, and you know how much I hate that, Luke," Peyton said, feeling a slight pain in her belly, but ignoring it. "I'm mad because you made a huge decision without me and you, don't see how wrong that is," the pain became more pronounced, making her clutch her stomach._

_Lucas noticed immediately, and was by her side, "Peyt, are you okay?" touching her arm, but getting a flinch in return._

"_Don't."_

"_Come on-"_

"_- Luke, please not now," she implored. "I just need to be alone right now."_

_She was being difficult, but Lucas knew she needed time to cool down, so he left._

_The tears flowed freely down her face. The look Nathan gave her before the glass shattered under his grasp broke her heart. It was a look of utter betrayal. And when she'd tried to touch him, he'd flinched away, and gave her the coldest look she'd ever seen. If he didn't hate her before, he despised her now, and she really couldn't blame him for it._

"P. Sawyer, would you just tell me why your so mad at your husband," Brooke asked, when yet again Peyton gave Luke the cold shoulder.

Peyton really didn't know how to say it without sounding absolutely insane. She couldn't exactly tell Brooke that she was upset, because Lucas told Nathan she was pregnant, without getting a crazy look and 'so what?' from the brunette. Sometimes she really regretted not tell anyone about her and Nathan, it would have made understanding the situation so much easier, but she remembered that _that _was one of the many reason they weren't together anymore. "B. please just let it go. I'm hormonal. Let's just leave it at that."

"Well now we can talk about the whole Rachel and Nathan situation," Brooke said, sensing a 'just drop it or else' hanging in the air.

Yeah, that's exactly who she wanted to talk about. The power frigging twosome. Really, just thinking about it made her sick to the stomach. "What about it?"

"Like we are suppose to believe they are all _platonic_," Brooke said, like it obvious and Peyton was being dense not noticing it. "Best friend, she is totally looking to getting some from him."

She was definitely feeling a bit of morning sickness coming on. _Get with him_?

"Nathan's all ripped and vulnerable, perfect target for that tramp," Brooke went on, not noticing the scrunched up look on Peyton's face.

She'd practically thrown Nathan at Rachel. And now she was going to have to watch…_them_…together. No, she didn't have a right to be jealous. But damn it, she was! She had wanted to be there when he got back in the game, but now Rachel was the one sharing that with him.

But wasn't it what she wanted him to do, move on because she had labelled them as a mismatched mess. She should be happy that he'd found someone. But, dear heavens she wasn't. It was selfish, and she was hating herself for it.

"So what do you think we should do about it?" Brooke asked, not wanting Rachel anywhere close to having Nathan. If anything, she wanted a _Naley_ reunion. Haley was much better suited for him, than that destructive red-head, and she had a right to say that, because she had experienced it first hand. The only reason she was trying to work things out with her, was at Nate's request. And not because she missed her or needed her friendship in any way.

Peyton wanted to say intervene, but she loved Nathan too much to ruin a good thing because she was jealous. "Nothing," Brooke's eyes widened comically, at that. "Look, if Nate's happy, then I'm happy and you should be happy too. Rachel is good for him, we shouldn't destroy that."

"Who are you and what have you done with my P. Sawyer?"

Peyton rolled her eyes, "She grew up, and got married."

"And will soon make me a godmother again," Brooke added, before swatting the blonde playfully in the arm. "I can't believe you didn't tell me when you found out."

"I was kind of a … shock."

"Sweetie, when you have sex there is a possibility that you pregnant. Biology 101."

Peyton had to laugh at that, this was exactly what she needed her B. Davis making her laugh and forget the situation.

***

"How's the hand?" Haley asked as she approach Nathan, who was bouncing a ball with his bandage hand. It still surprised her how Nathan had managed, to crush his wine glass.

He chuckled, "stings," he answered through fully, "but I'll get over it."

It was awkward but, she was trying. "How did your celebratory day with Jamie go?"

"Good," he smiled brightly, at the memory of the day. It had started off terrible, what with Peyton's pregnancy looming over his head like some dark cloud. But then, Rachel whipped out Jamie's room, the portrait and the suggestion of a celebration with Jamie. If anything the afternoon, had made him forget for a while, which was all he could really ask for. The ice-cream, the laughs, the splashing around, the pictures. What more could he really want? "I actually think our son has his first crush."

"Oh, do tell."

"Rachel." He could tell it was a forced smile from a mile away. "Hales, she's in love with that kid and he's crazy about her too."

Hales sighed, "I know, he can't stop talking about his aunt Rachel," which was true. After picking him up from Nathan's before the birthday dinner, her little boy couldn't stop talking about the red-head. "It will just take getting used to, I guess."

"Momma," Jamie rushed to Haley positively beaming, with Rachel following close behind. "Aunt Rachel's teaching me how to swim."

Haley forced a smile, "Really baby? That's… great."

Rachel wanted to roll her eyes at the obvious forced smile. "How about you guys huddle up for a picture to commemorate Nate's return to the game tomorrow?"

"I'm not even starting, Red."

"Well, doesn't matter because _I want_ a picture and _I will_ get a picture," she said. "now move it mister."

Haley had to control the urge to roll her eyes, and just come together for the picture. For Jamie's sake, because she would do anything for her son. Even if it meant getting along with the red-head.

***

When the doorbell rang and she answered it, she had never expect to see Lucas standing on the other side of the threshold. To say her heart fell to her stomach was an understatement. Why couldn't he just stay away like he had done for the past few weeks? "Nathan's not here."

"I came to see you," he informed her, hands tucked firmly into his pockets and squinty broody expression in place.

She sniggered, "Really?" was this guy serious. "Well I don't want to see you. Have a nice night," hoping to slam the door in his face, but of course when Luke wanted to be annoyingly endearing he did it to perfection.

"You're going to have to talk to me sometime," he told her pushing the door open and stepping inside, against her weak protest.

Rolling her eyes, she walked toward the kitchen, ice-cream was the only thing on her mind.

"Rachel, would you please just listen to me?" he asked.

"Listen to what? You apologize for dropping me like a bad habit, as soon as Blondie decided to bat her eyes your way," slamming the freezer in anger. God, why did he have to ruin her happiness? "Well, the 10 voicemails did it for you Luke, you can go now."

Lucas sighed, he knew this would be hard. "Rach, it wasn't even like that."

"I'm pretty sure it was," she countered, "one minute we are talking about getting a place together, the next you're moving back to Tree Hill with Peyton and getting married. Stop me when I start telling you lies."

Lucas knew it sounded a lot like the truth, but he just couldn't help how he felt. He loved Peyton always had, the draft of the book he wanted to publish sitting in his desk drawer was all about her, and he'd made a mistake letting her go.

"You can't, can you?" Rachel said when all she got was silence. "I was just another one of the _forget Peyton _Girls, just like Brooke."

"That wasn't what Brooke was, and neither were you," he told her firmly. "Rachel, you far more than that."

"Keep telling yourself that when you are snuggling up next to her in bed at night," popping the lid of the tub and sticking a spoon into the creamy depth, hoping it would ease the pain the sight of the blonde male brought her. "Luke, you can deny it all you want but, you were with me and Brooke because we were uncomplicated and fun, while the one you really wanted, was complicated and well… not interested."

"Rachel-"

"- You got what you wanted Luke. What are you doing here?" Honestly she really didn't want to dwell on the past she was trying so hard to forget.

What he wanted was to see her again, and not be like this. He missed her he did. And if anything he still had feeling for her, just not as strong as they were for Peyton. "I missed you."

"Don't you dare go there Luke," she warned. She was done with his words. "You lost that right the day you walked out on me, and married Peyton."

"If I hurt you so much why come back to Tree Hill?"

"I came back for the only friend I had, Brooke. Then Nathan happened and now I'm staying." She told him part of the truth. He didn't need to know her career had been crumbling before he'd left with Peyton, and had crashed and burned when after he'd left.

She'd become a mess of casual sex and drinking and then, her parents died, leaving her with a fortune to burn and a company to run that she didn't know a thing about. "So don't throw a fit, it was never for you." That of course was a whole lie, at the wedding she'd hoped to convince him otherwise, but had chickened out and headed for a bar to drown her sorrows. In the midst of a drinking binge, she saw Nate and the rest as they say is history.

"Do you like him?" Lucas asked, not sure why he wanted to know.

She sniggered, "Yeah, telling you is exactly what I'm going to do. Do us both a favour and get the hell out."

Attempting to walk past him up the stair, but he grabbed her arm.

"Rachel, I'm sorry."

"Tell that to the child I lost," wrenching her arm out of his grasp, she quickly made her way up the stairs. Just wanting to get away. Why the hell did she say that? She'd kept the silence for so long, why tell him now?

Lucas stayed frozen, feeling like he had just been slapped.

***

Nathan really didn't know what he was doing here. It had been pretty simple, go to the supermarket buy what they needed and head back to the house, not stop by at Tric because _her_ car was still parked outside. No, he wasn't suppose to go in and check if she was busy. Why did he insist on torturing himself like this? Seeing her, and knowing he couldn't have her had been bad. But, seeing her knowing she was carrying his brother's child, was much worse.

"Nathan?" Peyton asked in a soft voice, her heart thumping so hard in her chest she could barely breath. Why did he have to be so damn handsome.

This was stupid. He should have never come. Why was he making this so hard on himself. "I shouldn't be here. Sorry." He turned to leave.

"Nate wait," she just couldn't let him leave. "I'm sorry!" she called out making him stop in his tracks finally.

He chuckled, "Why 'cause you are pregnant by your husband?" he was being cynical. "But, I guess the _sorry_ is for announcing it on my birthday. Don't worry babe, I'm over it."

"That why you crushed a wine glass with your hand," he was being unfair, and she fought back. Sue her.

"If you are fishing for congratulation, Peyt all you had to do was ask," he replied with a twisted smile. "Congratulation."

Shaking her head in disbelief she stalked over to him. "If you're going to be such a jackass, why come here at all?" getting in his face.

Without even thinking, his arm was around her waist whipping her around trapping her against a wall. He was honestly going to kiss her crazy just then, but didn't. Instead he spoke gently, "'cause I'm an idiot who can't take _a mistake _for an answer," pushing away from her, and walking away again.

Her chest was heaving as she tried her damnedest to catch a breath, heart thundering in her chest like it was going to explode. For a few moments she was dazed, unable to wrap her head around the fact that he had just done that. But, quickly sobered when she saw him walking away. "Nate, there's something you should know. The baby -"

"- No, I don't," his tone teetering on a yell. He knew stress wasn't good for the pregnancy and if he hurt her or the baby he'd never forgive himself. "Just do me a favour. Don't… the names we chose…just don't." walking away, able to stand those tears on her face. He still loved her so seeing tears on his face hurt him. The best thing for now was to stay away. Stay away until it didn't hurt anymore.

Sliding down the wall, she clutch her belly fighting more tears. The look was still there. The look of utter betrayal was still there.

_More soon_

_A/N: Insight into Rachel/Lucas. NP and LR confrontations. Title is **Hurt** by **Christina Aguilera**._

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton, Strong Nathan and Rachel friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None.

_a/n: thank you for reading you are awesome. And for the reviews._

**I'm Not Okay**

Yet another pathetic demo tape, which didn't surprise her since the last couple of weeks had been pretty crappy to say the least. Her and Lucas had worked things out sure, but now it seemed there was something boggling his mind. As expected Nathan, was avoiding her like the plague, and Rachel was giving her the run around on where he was when she asked. Not only that, the red-head seemed even more apprehensive than usual, and Peyton had no idea why.

"Hey, ," Brooke greeted, "guess what I did? I'll tell you, I have designed a totally gorgeous line and it's all thanks to you."

Peyton managed a smile through the dull pain throbbing in her head. "To me?"

"Yeah, thanks to you getting preggers, I got inspiration to design hot, chic and totally original contour line for pregnant women - including you. Tell me how much you love me?"

"You know I love you like crazy B. Davis," standing only to be hit by a dizzy spell and sitting back down, to keep from passing out.

Brooke was immediately at her side, brown eyes filled with concern. "Honey, please tell me you've eaten?" taking in her friend's pale appearance.

"I did eat. A lot," Peyton assured, knowing she'd eaten like a horse, "I guess it's a late onset of morning sickness." but the sceptical look on Brooke's face told her that her brunette friend, was less than convinced. "B. I'm fine. I promise."

Leaning in Brooke looked her directly in the eyes, searching for any signs of a lie but found none. However what she found was a slight trace of sadness. If she had to guess, the two blonde newly weds hadn't solve whatever problems they'd been going through, and that was stressing her best friend. "How's things with Lucas?" sitting on the cluttered desk, fixing questioning brown eyes on the blonde.

"We sorted out our issues, if that's what your asking," Peyton told her, trying not to hold her friend's eye longer than necessary. Truth was, it didn't feel like they were married. It was almost like they were two people who share a bed at night, lived under the same room, but had separate lives. She had prided herself in the fact that she could read Lucas, but now he was a stranger. Then again, she was a stranger too with the biggest secret of all, so she couldn't exactly crucify him for keeping some of his own.

"But newly weds are suppose to be all lovey dovey, you guys look more like an old married couple," Brooke pointed out. She loved her best friend, and loved Broody too. But, lately their behaviour toward each other made her wonder whether letting her best friend walk down that aisle was a good idea. The blonde was a distraught mess merely an hour before her wedding, so it was a given Brooke thought Peyton had second thoughts. Heck, she practically had iced feet. Had Brooke made a mistake letting her walk down that aisle into a marriage she hadn't been ready for?

Peyton sighed, "We are lovey dovey. In our own way," whether or not she believed it herself didn't matter, because they had the rest of their lives to figure that out. Or at least she hoped, since the paternity was still pending. "I guess with the … pregnancy, we've moved from newly weds to married faster than most people would," she offered, thinking it sounded about right, and most of all, convincing.

Brooke was less than convinced, but let it go for now, or at least until she had concrete proof. "So… signed anyone worth it?"

"Not yet, but I'm hoping a miracle walks through that door," it was a long shot, but she really needed a miracle, if she was to sign anyone soon. At least one thing should work out for her, if everything else was shot to hell.

***

Rachel changed the station for the umpteenth time before putting off the radio completely. "We are totally getting a satellite radio installed," she mumbled, sitting back restlessly for about a minute before attaching her ipod to the stereo and turning it on again, for some decent music that wasn't rap related. She loved Nate, and rap wasn't bad, but the whole trip? You've got to be kidding her.

A smile tugged at her lips, when the tunes of Beyoncé come pouring out of the speakers. _Irreplaceable, _was exactly what she needed. "Much better."

Nathan rolled his eyes, "It's official you just won yourself the title of the crappiest taste in music," Happy that they weren't too far from their destination, because if he had to endure Rachel's angry girl music for more than 15 minutes, his ears would bleed.

"Where are you whisking me away to this time, Natey," she asked, ignoring his comment.

"Quit being so suspicious, Red," Nathan just said, with a smirk, "I promise you'll like it."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, wondering what he was up to. It wasn't a secret that he was a bit worried about her, since he'd found out she'd been drinking again after he'd started training and wasn't around for her anymore. She didn't have a problem, just needed to cope. But, she'd been getting back on track slowly lately, and that had to mean something.

"Since I'll be spending a lot of time in Charlotte, I've been looking for a loft here," Nate explained as they entered the highly priced apartment complex, "And I wanted your opinion on the space."

Rachel sniggered, "All the money you're making now and you can't hire a interior decorator?" not knowing exactly what he wanted her to do.

"I am. Only this one is a friend, who knows my tastes and is damn good at making a place look good."

"Nate -"

"- Red, you're modelling career is over, but you've got lots of other talents and money to make them into business," Nathan explained, as they stepped out of the elevator. "You take beautiful pictures, and design room according to the persons likes and add in personal touches they couldn't even think of, Rachel. You can do this." wrapping his arm round her shoulders, and leading her through the double doors. "So lay that magic I know you have on this place."

***

Peyton didn't like the look on the Doctor's face one bit. Normally the woman had a gentle warm smile plastered on her face, but today it seem a bit … _forced_. Maybe it was just her paranoia setting in, but she could tell whatever was coming next wouldn't be good.

"It's not good news, is it?" Peyton asked, dread and fear filling her every pore.

"Peyton," Nicole began, knowing she needed to choose her words carefully so as to not scare the young woman unnecessarily. "I know we said we would talk about paternity testing in this session, but have a few, and it's best you get all the information before you make a decision on whether you want to proceed with it or not." The young woman was going through her first pregnancy, probably alone since she was yet to discover the paternity of her baby, and on top of that had the shadow of Preeclampsia following her around.

"I…I don't understand."

"Your blood pressure is still very high," Nicole began, looking at the 140 over 90 noted in the chart. It needed to be told so she could do the necessary to try and keep both mother and child safe. "And it doesn't seem to be improving like I'd hoped."

"So…what does that mean?"

"It now very likely that you may develop Preeclampsia, but it will only be definite for us to diagnose in another two months," Nicole watched the young woman hold back tears. "Understand that this isn't your fault Peyton. From what you've told me, you are getting enough rest, and doing everything I asked you to do. It's just something that happens."

Peyton didn't think she could breath, if anything she felt like the walls were closing in on her. "So the paternity test; it will be more dangerous to do now?" It's not that knowing the father was the most important thing, the baby trumped that a hundred times over, she just needed to know how to proceed from then on.

"The risks of miscarriage are already raised with someone in your condition," Nicole confirmed, "I wouldn't advice doing a paternity test until after the baby is born. But if you still-"

"-No," Peyton answered almost immediately, hand over her belly protectively. "I won't risk it."

It was a sad sight to see the blonde so worried, "how about we listen to the baby's heart beat?"

That brought a teary smile to the blonde's face

***

Going to the house, or staying at the Tric would have been her normal options, but right now she just needed to be a place she wouldn't be found. That was why she was now sitting on one of the many picnic tables around the River court watching the dark water, tears freely flowing down her face. She knew she should be happy that today was the first time she'd heard her baby's heartbeat, but then there was the impending Preeclampsia that wouldn't leave her alone.

"Peyton?" he asked cautiously, knowing he was going to regret it, but the pain radiating from her he just couldn't ignore.

Sniffling, she wiped away the tears. Wanting him to hold her, but knowing he wouldn't and he'd probably just be a jerk, she went for a different approach. "If you're here to be a jackass, then I really don't need you here right now," her voice hoarse from crying.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked, wanting to turn and walk away, but his feet carried him toward her. And now that he was standing beside her, he really wasn't sure whether she'd appreciate him touching her in any way to comfort her.

Was she okay? Far from it. She was beyond what people termed a mess. No, it was too small a word. And having _him _beside her, just made it ten times worse. "I'm fine," she was lying through her teeth, but she just needed him gone. It was insane that for weeks she had just been wishing to see him, but now that he was there, she just wanted him gone, he was making it even harder. "You can go now," it was harsh, but she knew Nathan wouldn't go otherwise.

"You're not alright, babe," the term of endearment he only reserved for her slipped out unconsciously. "Just… tell me what's up?"

God, how easy it would be to just blurt it out, but the anger she felt toward him for avoiding her the last couple of weeks, bubbled to the surface. "You can't come here and ask me something like that," her voice still teary, but livid nonetheless. "Where were you these past few weeks, Nate? Oh, that's right, you've been avoiding me. I don't need your pity right now, Nathan, I need your absence. So… just mimic what you've been doing lately, and leave me alone."

He couldn't deny he was avoiding her. In fact, he'd pretty much made it into an art form. It was childish, but he just wasn't handling her being pregnant very well, and he didn't want to say anything hurtful. As much as hurtful shit flew out of his mouth when he was angry, he hated himself more for saying them to her. And with the pregnancy, they would likely cause her stress and that would harm the baby. He would never want to be responsible for any harm that would befall Peyton and her baby, despite them not being his.

Walking away was the best option, but he stayed rooted. "I did it because I didn't want to say something I would regret. I'm not okay with it, Peyt."

"Really, I wouldn't have noticed the way you look at me like I'm some sort of slut, every time we're around each other," a sarcastic laugh escaping her, sounding a bit hysterical if one listened closely.

If there was one thing he would never do was think of her or even look at her as slut. He loved her, damn it! He loved her to the point of it being unhealthy, and for her to accuse him of looking at her in such a light, was so unfair and hurt beyond anything she could ever say. "If you believe that, then you really don't know a thing about me. I'm letting you move on, just like you wanted me too, and seeing you just drags me back in -"

"- And you think it's easy for me to see you?"

"I let me be with you, Peyton, only for you to spit in my face, walk down the aisle and marry my brother," feeling himself losing his temper at an accelerated rate. "Right before you told me, being with me was a mistake, so sorry if I think it's a breeze for you."

After those words she just couldn't help it, she slapped him hard across the cheek. "Don't act like you know, a thing about what I'm going through, because you couldn't even begin to imagine it," storming off, scared to stay behind in case he questioned her. But, she didn't reach far as a sharp pain hit stomach.

Nathan was right on her heal, catching her before she collapsed to the ground in pain. "Peyt?" he had never felt so terrified as he felt now, with Peyton holding her belly, agony spelled out clearly on her face. Why the hell couldn't he just shut up and leave when she'd asked? Why the hell did he have to pick a fight when she was pregnant.

"Nate," she managed through tears, clutching his arm.

"Babe, listen…" he said, voice soothing contrary to the chaos her mind was in. Picking her effortlessly he made his way to her car, "You're going to be okay." the assurance for himself as well. _Please be okay._

***

Nathan had been pacing the floor for what seemed like forever, but no news. He was going crazy not knowing if she was okay. God, he would never ever forgive himself if she lost the baby because of him, on top of that Peyton wouldn't forgive him either, and that, was even worse. Even if he didn't like the idea of the child, he loved Peyton by extension any part of her, and therefore didn't want any harm befalling the baby.

As soon as he saw Dr. Townsend walking down the hallway he rushed over, praying for good news. "How is she?"

"She's fine," Nicole assured the young man, with a reassuring smile pulling at her lips. "It was just a bad cramp caused by stress. I recommend that she stay stress free."

The doctor seemed to want to discuss something more, but he really didn't want to know. Honestly, just knowing she was okay, and the baby was fine, was all that he needed to know. "Can I see her?" he asked, not caring if she didn't want to see him, because he wouldn't believe the doctor unless he saw Peyton well with his own eyes.

"Yes, just go ahead."

He didn't need to be told twice, practically setting off into a small jog. But, when he pulled the curtain and saw her, he really didn't know what to say.

She could see he was beating himself up already, when she was partially at fault too. There was just too much guilt and regret in those blue eyes. "I'm okay, Nate." The emotions didn't fade from his eyes. "I promise."

He nodded still sceptical, but right now starting an argument no matter how small, wasn't in her best interest. "I couldn't get Lucas, so I called Brooke and Haley instead," he told her, to fill the silence. "They'll be here soon."

"Don't go," she blurted out. God, she must be a hormonal bitch. First she told him to go away, and now she was asking him to stay?

"I'm no good for you right now."

"It wasn't your fault," knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"You're pregnant and I picked a fight with you. It's my fault any way you look at it," she was about to speak, but he rushed on. "I can't hurt you anymore. I'll stay away from now on."

She was going to tell him no and to stay, but Brooke and Haley walked in, and he used that opportunity to quickly walk out.

Probably out of her life for a while.

_More soon_

_A/N: More NP and NR. Title is **I'm Not Okay** by **My Chemical Romance**. As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton, Strong Nathan and Rachel friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **Mostly flashbacks, a filler and a little frisky Peyton and Nathan.

_A/N: Thank you for reading. And special thanks to those who took time to review. It's really encouraging._

**I Write Sins, Not Tragedies**

Peyton had finally come to terms with it, that she would never be able to love Lucas the way he deserved, when she was still very hung up on Nathan to such a unhealthy degree. Not only that, it just wasn't fair to anyone to live this lie. The fact that she didn't even know the paternity of the baby, was cruel to Lucas even if he didn't know. It was even worse to Nathan.

Nathan was keeping his word and staying away, which hurt more than anything, because she wasn't the only one he was avoiding but, Lucas as well. Which really wasn't fair to Lucas, they were brothers, and she could see it was hurting him.

The only good thing about it, was that he was doing well with his basketball, and had started twice now, since joining the Bobcats. And like always when he played, he tore it up like you wouldn't believe.

Was she proud? More than anything.

_The disappointment and defeat radiating from him was hard to watch, since she was so used to seeing him confident and so sure of himself. It was heartbreaking. "Nate…" knowing he was heading straight for the liquor cabinet. Part of her couldn't blame him for it, but another part couldn't bare watch him destroy himself with alcohol due of some narrow-minded prick._

"_No-one's asking you to stay Sawyer, you can leave," knowing she was going to soothe him and tell him everything was okay, when everything just fell apart. He needed to be alone right now._

_Rolling her eyes she stayed put crossing her arms over her chest, a snigger escaping her, "A pity party. These are nice." babying him wouldn't help, so she wasn't going to do it. Beside she wasn't good at babying, it wasn't her thing when it came to Nathan. "Really, throwing a fit is the exact thing to do."_

"_Peyton. Leave," his voice teetering on to edge of being a shout, slamming the bottle hard on the bar._

"_No."_

"_Are you deaf? I said leave!_

"_No," Peyton yelled back, storming over to him and snatching the bottle out of his hands, she pour a healthy amount into a glass and pushed it toward him, "you want to drink yourself to oblivion go ahead, but I'm going to be here to watch you being stupid."_

"Stupid_? My life's over!"_

"_Quit being so dramatic Nate, it isn't over. And if you do this," referring to the alcohol. "Then it will be and you're not the guy I thought you were."_

_He looked at her coldly, "your right I'm not the guy, you think I am. I'm the guy who's careers over, Peyton, my life frigging over don't you get that!"_

"_No, I don't get that," she yelled back. "Nate, it's only over, if you quit now. One manager said no, so what? You've been working so hard to get back and through injury, babe, and this was just the beginning. You're a good player, dedicated and if you let someone tell you no, and give up, Nathan Scott, you're are an idiot."_

_He looked at her, "He was short of saying I sucked Peyton."_

"_For someone who just got out of an injury that had him in a wheelchair, you did your best," she argued, passion shining in her eyes. "If you continue training and work hard like you've been doing, another team will pick you up, if that jackass doesn't come crawling back. And if it doesn't work out, you'll survive."_

"_All I am is basketball, it's all I ever had -"_

"_- you see that's where your wrong Nate. You're not all basketball, it part of you, but not all of you. And it's not all you have," taking a chance she stepped close to him, placing a hand on his cheek. "You have __**me**__, and you have Jamie who adores you either way."_

_He smiled at the mention of his son's name._

"_It's us against the world," her hand falling to the back of his neck. "Remember?"_

"_Even if I'm a loser has-been, with no talent left."_

"_I wouldn't say you don't have any talent," she said seductively before kissing him gently on the mouth. "But seriously, Nate, you can do this. I believe in you. Trust me, __**trust**__ yourself."_

_He sighed, resting his forehead against hers. "It's kinda hard when one of the best coaches in the league tells you, you suck."_

"_Before, you thrived on criticism; made you play harder," she reminded him. "Now you're letting it get to you?"_

"_Peyt…"_

"_Like I said, make it or not. I'm here," she assured him. "I'll be here always," kissing him gently, she staying wrapped up in his arms to assure him._

It was just too bad she wasn't able to keep that promise. Sure, she was there with him in spirit, but that wasn't what she'd promised. She promised physical, emotional and spiritual support, which meant she fell short twice over.

Had she given up on them too easily? Because sometimes, it felt like she really had. He walked away and she gave up. Sleeping with him on her wedding day had been a sure sign that they weren't completely over, but she chose to ignore it, and now she was potentially ruined more lives than her own.

No, she couldn't do it anymore. Lie to Lucas like the way she'd been doing. Lying about loving him the way he thought she did, when she was so pathetically in love with his brother. Nathan also needed to be told, that he might be the baby's father, she needed to tell Lucas too.

After all she'd put him through, she didn't expect Nathan, to forgive and forget. He wouldn't take her back, but he still deserved to know he might be a father soon, even though it meant he didn't want her anymore. And even if, there was a chance in hell they could try again, it didn't mean they would be the same.

"_Is this heated?" Peyton asked as they walked out into the backyard, looking at the pool longingly. It was a pretty hot summer night and a dip wouldn't be so bad, even if it took forever to get her hair looking the way it did that morning._

_He smirked, "reliving old memories?" he asked, thinking about the boy toy auction himself. That night he had been conflicted, because it had reminded him of the good times, and well… he'd propositioned her. Tonight though, she was his again and he still had urges to kiss her, and could do it too. Heck, doing what he'd been thinking back then, was also a possibility._

"_Maybe," she said, giving him a sly sideways glance accompanied with a slow seductive smile. They were yet to take the sexual step, but teasing never hurt anyone._

_He could see her game a mile away but, he had to see how far she was going to take it. If something had changed in Peyton, it was her becoming more bold, and he loved it. "To answer your question, it's not heated," a smirk tugging at his lips, promising satisfaction. "but, I'm pretty sure we can turn up the heat." giving her a slow once over, letting her know of his intentions._

"_Actually, I'm feeling a bit hot," playing with the hem of her shirt, "a dip wouldn't be so bad," pulling off her shirt completely, and making quick work of her skirt. "Want to join me?" bit her lip._

"_Depends. Are those the only things coming off?" he asked eyeing her unguardedly, as she entered the pool via the shallow end._

"_Get in and find out," a wink accompanying the loaded words._

_He didn't needed to be told twice, shedding his clothes down to his boxers, he followed her in. "Start shedding Sawyer," treading toward her, until he was a mere foot away._

"_I lied."_

"_Is that right," making a grab for her only for her to swim out of reach. "Really you want to play this game?"_

"_Don't know what you're talking about," splashing him._

"_Oh, it's so on," splashing her._

_After a lot of splashing and evading, both called a truce in an embrace. Her arms around his neck and legs wrapped round his waist, his arms comfortably wrapping around her. "How's everything with Jamie?" she asked playing with his hair, eyes openly admiring his handsome face._

"_It's still a little bit confusing for him, but he's a smart kid and he's finally starting to understand it," gently caressing her lower back, making her arch against him._

"_I'm glad things are okay," she said, trying not to be distracted by his touch and trying her hardest to not to sigh. But when his touch became more pronounced, she couldn't hold back a whine, "Stop it,"_

"_Stop what?" he asked in a husky tone, lips tracing the shell of her ear._

_She closed her eyes, _damn him_. "That…"_

"_You have to be more specific, Sawyer," backing her up against a pool edge, his fingers moving a strap off her shoulders before laying a gentle kiss on her shoulder. When she didn't protest, he continued to lay soft kisses up her neck, while his other hand, pushed the other strap off her shoulder._

"_Nate…" she let go breathlessly, trying her hardest not to enjoy his ministration._

"_Don't deny you like it," he spoke against her lips, parting them before kissing her deeply as her legs tightened around his waist, not resisting in the least._

_Things were getting heated fast and she knew she wouldn't be able to resist, if he wanted to move further than just making out. But, they couldn't, at least not here, and not for their first time since getting back together. _

_Did she want him? It wasn't even a question that needed to be asked. She wanted him insanely, but just… not in his pool with the possibility of someone walking in on them. _

_Pulling away with a moan she spoke,"someone might catch us."_

"_So, it's your fault for being so damn sexy," he groaned gently, placing open mouth kisses on her neck feverishly._

_He was really making it hard to say no. "Come on, Scott stop," she said half heartedly, not really wanting him to stop, but needing him to stop before she lost anymore of her senses._

"_You know you're killing me, Sawyer," he sighed, honouring her request burying his face in her neck in slight frustration. If he wanted to, he could continue and convince her to go all the way, but she wasn't ready mentally for it and he respected that._

_Unravelling her legs from his waist to stand on her own, she chose her words careful. "Nate-"_

"_- You don't have to say it, babe," moving to look her in the eyes, before resting his forehead against hers, "I'm willing to wait."_

She couldn't hope for it. Yes she loved him, but that didn't change the fact that sure, they'll would do great for a while, before it falling apart. Going through that again, wasn't healthy for both of them, no matter how much they wanted it. That didn't matter though, at the moment it was the baby and righting the wrongs she'd made lately.

Taking out a suitcase, she began packing. After the talk she was intending to have with Lucas, it was likely that he wouldn't want her around. Heck, if she were him, she wouldn't want her around. She needed to call Brooke for a place to stay, at least until she found something more permanent.

_She knew what she was doing was seduction, but who said he hadn't done it to her before. They were alone in the house, doors locked assured of no interruption … _

_Leaning against the wall she just watched him for a few moments. If there was one thing, Peyton would never get over, was how gorgeous Nathan looked after a work out. Especially shirtless with his chiselled chest and abs glistening from his hard work. _

_And hard work, deserved just rewards…right?_

"_Nate…" she called in a gentle voice knowing he'd hear._

"_What's up babe?" he asked finally taking a break and looking at her, eyes darkening slightly at the sight of long legs disappearing under a silk negligee that ended impossibly high on her thigh. He was pretty sure she was seducing him, not that he was complaining._

_Seeing the desired effect playing in his eyes, she smirked. "Was wondering if I could get your opinion on something," playing with the tie of the robe, and watching him gulp. His darker blue eyes, travelling up her legs in unconcealed appreciation, up to her lips then finally to her eyes._

"_Uh huh."_

"_Brooke and I went shopping today," pulling on the tie slowly letting the robe fall open to slightly reveal her surprise. Dark blue bra and matching lacy boy shorts came into view, filling a matching pair of sapphire eyes with raw desire. "What do you think? Too much?" letting the robe fall of her shoulders and pool around her feet._

_Standing from his position on the weight bench, he walked slowly toward her, unhidden hunger and want in his eyes, that had her heart racing a mile a minute. She would never get over that look in his eyes when he wanted to ravish her. It still brought butterflies to her stomach._

"_I think," he began, placing a hand against the door frame near her head, crowding her body with his own. "I'll have to take you upstairs and show just how much I like it," fingers gently tracing her jaw line._

_Smiling she pulled him closer, "I was hoping you'd say that," she whispered in his ear, gently pulling at his earlobe with her teeth. An action that always got his pulse rating, and eyes closing in utter satisfaction. _

_Taking the opportunity she escaped from his trap, and headed for the stairs. "Coming or what?"_

_She was teasing him, and from the smirk, he seemed to like it immensely…_

…The front door opening and closing pulled her away from her memories. It was time for the truth.

"Luke..." she began, pulling his attention from the bags by the stairs. "We need to talk."

_More soon_

_A/N: Sort of a filler chapter than needed to be written. Title is **I Write Sins, Not Tragedies** by **Panic! At the Disco**. As always..._

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **None.

_A/N: Merci. arigato for the reviews dudes, you are totally awesome. And all who read._

**Perfect Situation For A Fool**

Glancing at Peyton once again, Brooke resisted the urge to ask what had happened with Lucas. It had to be serious if the packed bags and destroyed expression on Lucas' face, were anything to go by. To be honest, she felt kind of sorry that the two blondes' matrimony had lasted barely 4 months before falling apart, and what sucked was she had seen it coming.

It was just that, whenever Peyton looked at Lucas, Brooke never saw the sparkle that usually indicated her friend was in love. Not forgetting the blonde's distraught appearance before the wedding. The way Peyton had bawled one would have mistaken the impending celebration for some sort of death sentence.

Keeping her mouth shut seemed to be getting much harder as time passed by and her best friend remained solemn. "Okay, courtesy silence is off P. Sawyer, you need to start talking. What happened?"

Unable to face her, Peyton remained staring out the window searching for words. "Lucas and I are over." It saddened her somewhat that it ended the way it did, but it had to be done. If he hated her, she'd understand, but right now she wanted to postpone telling Brooke the reason for the separation because she needed her best friend before shit hit the proverbial fan.

Nathan still needed to be told, and it was only fair to tell him before anyone else.

"Define over," Brooke prompted, but got no response. "What I mean, best friend, is that is it over like 'we had a fight, I'm an emotional bitch and we'll figure it out' or over as in 'a _Naley_ magnitude type of break up'."

It was kind of insane that she still felt a small tinge of jealousy at the mention of the so called epic _Naley_. "The latter would apply," she finally settled. It was far from it, because her and Lucas didn't compare to Naley.

"_Divorce_?"

"It's highly likely," she confirmed, but quickly went on, "but… could we not talk about this. At least not right now?"

"Fine, consider this conversation on pause, but once you get settled, I'm so pressing play on it again," pulling into her driveway.

Whether the blonde liked it or not, she would tell her everything.

***

"Hey… Scott," the petite brunette who'd been eyes him openly all night, finally approached him. "Good game." Gray eyes not hiding their appreciation of his good looks. Nathan was finally getting use to it, women throwing themselves at him hoping to score with an NBA player, but all failed.

The Nathan in junior year, would have been pulling her out of the party, but he had grown up, and manned up, or rather fell in love since then and meaningless encounters just didn't appeal to him. It didn't appeal to him when he divorced from Haley, it didn't appeal to him when he found out Peyton got engaged, it didn't appeal to him when she got married, and it still didn't appeal to him now. And yeah he'd tried about twice, but mid taking his clothes off, he'd put a stop to it.

"Thanks," he said, not showing any interest at all but, the brunette either didn't care, or saw it as some kind of challenge.

Moving into his personal space, she run a finger down his chest. "So how about -"

"- I actually have someone," Nathan said before the girl could finish her proposition.

"She doesn't have to know."

"I believe he said no," Rachel said from behind, scowl firmly in place showing she was less than impressed. "And in case your synapses aren't firing right, that mean back off."

The brunette rolled her eyes, "Do you know her?" addressing Nathan solely.

"Yeah, I'm his _my _fiancé, beat it before my fist make an impromptu meeting with your face," pushing herself between the shorter woman and Nathan, arms winding round his neck. "Ready to get out of here?" purposely ignoring the girl.

His deep blue eyes remained trained on the red-head, not straying from her for a second. "Thought you'd never ask," a smirk tugging at her lips, snaking an arm round her waist leaving a flabbergasted brunette in their wake.

Once out of ear shot, Rachel moved her mouth close to his ear and whispered, "You so owe me," running a false seductive hand up his chest, as they made their way out of the party, toward the elevators.

"Hey it's not my fault you've made yourself my _groupie eradicator_," he whispered back, in her ear the same way. "But fiancé? A little too far do you think?" leading her into the elevator, removing himself from her, to lean at the back of the car.

She laughed, "Wifey, would have been too far. Besides that skank practically eye-raped you five times over tonight, I was saving you hot ass from her slutty claws."

Nathan smiled, he was happy that Rachel decided to tag along for his away games. It was nice to have someone to hang out with him. "Have you been checking out my ass, Red?"

"You're eye candy Natey-boo, so it's a given I check you out once in a while," it was true, she wasn't blind. Nathan was gorgeous, and she did look from time to time. But that was just it; look, but **never **touch was the motto. She loved him too much as her friend, to try ruin it with anything other than a platonic friendship.

He smirked, "So… what up with you and Bridges anyway?"

"I'm a flirt," she told him, knowing exactly where his mind was at; Bridges was good looking, but she was over meaningless sex, and anything more would be impossible at the moment. She was not over Lucas yet as pathetic as it sounded. "Nothing more."

"You sure 'bout that?" eyebrow raised.

Sending him a glare, "watch it Hot Shot, your walking on thin ice."

"It okay to want someone, Red." She knew that too, but didn't say anything walking out of the elevator with Nathan close behind. It would be easy to just try and move on, but she couldn't do what Lucas did to her to another person. Moving on required time, and it was yet to happen for her.

"Two more weeks. How are you feeling?" she asked, changing the subject. When crowded, she deflected, sue her.

Honestly, he really wanted to be back in Tree Hill as much as he didn't want to go back. Jamie was there, and if there was someone he missed in insane proportions, it was his son. Skype-ing and phone calls weren't enough. But going back meant it would be harder to avoid Peyton, and stay way from her away.

How was he feeling? "Can't wait to see my son," he smiled.

***

Green eyes betrayed her worry, as Peyton waited in the seemingly cold office for Dr. Townsend to return from attending to an emergency. Today was d-day; they would confirm whether or not she had Preeclampsia. There was a small possibility that it was a false alarm and didn't mean anything, and she was banking on that small possibility.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting Peyton," was the first thing Nicole said, when she entered the office. "I hope you haven't been waiting long."

It felt like an eternity, but she wasn't one to bitch out unnecessarily. "It's okay, you're a doctor it's understandable," watching the doctor flip through her the results. "What's the verdict?"

"Your pressure seem to be even higher than last time, are you under any stress?" Nicole decided it was easier to ease her to the conclusion of the results than just blurt it out.

Was she under stress? Yes, she was. With Brooke finding out, leading to a heated argument that had the potential of end a friendship; stress was an understatement. "No," it was a lie, and the small knowing light flashing in the older woman's eyes told her, that she was aware of the lie, but the doctor didn't call her on her bullshit.

"You tested positive for Proteinuria, which is basically a condition where traces of proteins that are usually confined to blood appearing in the urine, which is a sure sign of Preeclampsia…"

Nicole kept on talking but, her mind was stuck on one word. _Preeclampsia_. It was now cemented in stone, that she had it. The condition that raised risk of miscarriage. The dull ache in her head that just hadn't gone away the whole day, seemed to become even more pronounced.

She was practically a zombie through out the examination. Was this some sort of retribution for lying to Nathan about what he really meant to her, or sleeping with him only to marry his brother mere hours later, or saying yes to Lucas knowing she wasn't in love with him?

God, her life felt like a really bad soap opera, and her choices were to blame.

But out of all the things going wrong around her, the worst had to be the fact that the one good thing in her life, was being unfairly threatened. In her gut, she knew that despite not having concrete proof to show for it, the baby had to be Nathan's.

It was time to put all possible doubts to rest. And now all she could do was pray hard and hope for the best.

"I was wondering if we could talk about paternity testing again?"

***

"Why don't you go see that cute son of yours while I handle the unpacking?" Rachel suggested, knowing Nathan was itching to rush through that door and see his son. Heck, she was itching to see the little heartbreaker after close to two months away.

Nathan had to raise an eyebrow at that, not that he was going to dispute, "you. Unpack?"

"I've been known to do that from time to time, now get your fine ass out of here before I change my mind," she threatened good naturedly, getting a kiss on the temple as gratitude.

"Don't strain yourself," was the blue eyed male's warning before shutting the door behind him.

Taking a breath, she looked round the first place she'd ever called home with smile. It felt good to be home. But, getting home required unpacking since the next few games would he home games.

Managing to drag both their ridiculously heavy bags upstairs, she began the unpacking process, of course starting with Nathan's so she can be over with it first. The first task was separating what needed to be washed, and what needed to be put away which was surprisingly was easy. It should have been scary how easy she was doing it, but after the four months of reconnecting and becoming friends it didn't surprise her. What did surprise her though, was the white satin belt that she knew belonged to a women's silk robe, nestled between his things. She didn't have to take a wild guess to who the owner was. _Peyton_.

Why didn't it surprise her even with the time away, he still had her in mind. Two things that probably stayed with him always were Jamie and Peyton. It would be hypocritical if she said anything, when Lucas hadn't completely left her mind as well.

Placing it on his bedside table with a sad smile, she left the room to handle her own unpacking.

***

To say he had a good afternoon with his son would have been an understatement, but that didn't mean both Brooke's and Haley's cool reception earlier didn't ran through his mind all day. What the hell happened in the months he's been away that he didn't know about?

"'Night Daddy, Momma" Jamie called over his shoulder, obeying his mother order to get ready for bed.

Once Nathan was sure his son was out of earshot, he turned to Haley. "Okay what's up? You've been giving me the evil eye and I'm clueless to what I've done this time." If he'd done something low down and dirty, then he would have accepted the treatment, but when he was completely innocent; he didn't appreciate it.

"Did you sleep with Peyton?" Haley cut to the chase, angry beyond belief. There she had been, throwing herself at him hoping for a reconciliation, when he'd been sleeping around with one of her best friends. Heck, she'd suspected it, but it still hurt more than she had thought it would.

Out of all the things he'd expected her to say, that definitely wasn't one of them. He stood in stunned silence for the longest moment, not really knowing what to say. One of the things he hadn't expected to get back to, was the truth coming out. "Yes," he said, in a low tone. He couldn't lie or deny it.

"Get out," Haley whispered, mortified at the tears building up in her eyes. Hearing it from him just hurt the more.

"Haley -"

"- Get. out!"

She was hurt, livid, and probably wouldn't want to hear a damn thing he said. So he left.

"And next time you want to see Jamie, call first."

_More soon_

_A/N: I'm no good with fight scenes so I try avoid writing them. But the Brooke confrontation will probably be written in a future chapter, I just need to work on it some more. Subtle request: let me know what you think of this one, please. The title is **Perfect Situation For A Fool** by **George Highfill & Jai Josefs**. As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **A little friskiness.

_a/n: thanks a million for reading, and a trillion for reviewing_

**Pocket Full Of Sunshine?**

There was no way out of practice during the week, so it was more practical to stay at the Charlotte apartment the entire week than driving back and forth everyday. The unfortunate thing about an empty apartment at night, was that he had nothing but his thoughts to keep him company.

Haley knew, and judging from Brooke's behaviour, the brunette knew by extension. And it was just a matter of time before both or either women passed the information on to his brother.

He needed to talk to Peyton, but it seemed the blonde had been avoiding him, just as much as he had her. If Luke knew, then she would probably get the brunt of the blame, stressing her out, which wasn't good for her pregnancy. They needed to handle this together, because they were in this together, whether or not Peyton saw it that way. Only consolation in their situation was that Lucas loved her, and that meant his brother wouldn't do anything to harm her or his own baby.

Tomorrow he would handle it.

It was quite obvious that he wouldn't fall asleep any time soon. Had it been Tree Hill, he'd have practiced his jump shot in the mini court outside, but this wasn't Tree Hill, he wasn't in the mood for a run and really didn't feel like driving to the Bobcats training ground. The tiles on the ceiling weren't going to change, and he couldn't call Rachel to talk; the red head was probably asleep. And Peyton… it just wasn't an option.

Turning to look at the frames on his beside table, he admired the three people he carried with him everywhere.

A picture of himself, Jamie and Rachel taken on the day they celebrated his signing with the Bobcats. The other was one of him and Peyton, the day after the first time they made loved after getting together.

_Hours had probably passed, but he could have cared less because her laying beside him was all he needed. Locked at the lips, lost in each other… how could something feel so perfect? The first time he'd kissed her again, everything was right again, and as much as he knew things were never perfect, this moment, this afternoon, sure was and nothing could tell him otherwise._

_Breaking the kiss, he just watched as her eyes remained closed and a smile tugged at her kiss swollen lips. Did she feel the same thing he was feeling right now? That… just being with him made sense, which was how he felt. _

_After Haley signed the papers, he was destroyed, but Peyton had been there by his side. She'd stayed. When she kissed him back, after he'd stolen a kiss on impulse, things had cleared up and began making sense. No matter how much he tried pushing her away, she didn't budge. Instead she was there, everyday, reminding him of who he was, the guy that existed before Haley and the guy she knew before he became an ass to her first time round. _

_No, he didn't have qualms calling the moment or the afternoon spent making love to her perfect. There weren't any candles, rose buds or dinners. He'd come out of the shower, and she'd looked at him with the most beautiful sparkle he had ever seen for what seemed like forever, before rushing at him and kissing him in a way that left him light headed. Oh, that kiss was something else. _

_For months, he'd waited and he hadn't anticipated today would be the day she would be ready to take that step with him again. Once wasn't enough though, he just wanted to feel her, touch her and assure himself of the fact that it was not only real, but what he was feeling wasn't a one off thing._

"_Remember what I said in the pool on our boy toy auction date," Peyton asked, finally opening green eyes to look into his blues that were inches away._

"_You said a lot of things," he replied , delicately tucking her wavy hair behind her ear so nothing could obstruct his view of that face. But he could help smirk at one memory of the night in question, "but what stands out, was you admitting I was great in bed." he expected a smack on his chest, but it never came._

_Instead, her fingers scraped seductively at his abs, "yes you are," biting her lower lips, before kissing him gently._

"_Was it even up for question?" he raised an eyebrow, as he moved on top of her effectively trapping her between his body and the mattress. Kissing her deeply to cut of her answer. _

_Damn, that wouldn't get old. _

_After feeling around and finding an empty space where she been the night before, he opened his eyes to look around the room. No sign of the blonde; making him question if what happened the day before was a dream. But, that internal question was squashed, when she came into the room, baring a plate of fruit and clad in his navy button down shirt. "Morning babe," she greeted him with a slow kiss, tasting a bit like grape. "How'd you sleep?"_

"_Pretty damn good, if you're awake before me," he grinned, running a lazy hand up her leg. "How did that happen?"_

"_I guess…" she began throwing her leg over his legs so she was straddling him. "you tired yourself out last night, always the over achiever."_

"_Like you were complaining," he countered, hands resting on her hips, smirk in place._

_Blushing, at the memory, he knew she was far from dissatisfied by last night. "Shut up!" pushing at his chest, but not moving from her position._

"_Make me."_

"_Has anyone ever told you're oversexed?"_

"_Then lucky you," at the comment her jaw dropped in shock, before she began trying to get of him. But he quickly, changed their position and kissed her sorry. It only took a minute before she succumb to his kiss. Moving off her, he removed the pressure of his body from hers, while reaching for his phone. _

_A movement that caught her attention. "What are you doing?" she asked against his lips._

"_Documenting," he said in between a kiss, "perfection." not breaking the kiss as he took the picture._

And there captured in the photograph, was that moment. Lips locked and lost in each other. If his memory served him correctly she was late for work that day…

Why he insisted on torturing himself with memories, he didn't know. He needed a _cold _shower.

***

Work didn't appeal to her like it usually did, maybe because the premises belonged to Lucas. Her conversation with him made her feel even worse about the situation they'd found themselves in. To look for a new place for her record label was the fair and only thing to do, and rightfully so, she'd gone to tell Lucas just that very thing. But, the oldest of the Scott brother's told her he had no problem with her record label being in Tric, which was worse than him just telling her to get the hell out.

Her week was even worse, with nausea not only in the morning but, at night as well. And the dull headaches, that was still silently throbbing in her head weren't doing her any favours with her work. Unfortunate for her, taking a painkiller wasn't an option, because she was pregnant, and there was no way in hell she was going to endanger her baby's life.

The only consolation of week was Lucas agreeing to submit DNA for the paternity test. There was still part of her that was scared about doing the test with all the risks involved, but another told her it had to be done. She just prayed and hoped that nothing happened to the baby.

Sighing loudly, she leaded back in her seat, hand resting over her belly. The unusual silence of her office, however, was interrupted by a knock at the door. She wasn't in the mood to see anyone, but acknowledged them anyway. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah… I'm looking for Peyton Sawyer?" the handsome bi-racial man, with an impossibly beautiful smile, asked not entering the office.

Peyton, despite her terrible mood, had to resist the urge to smile back at him. His smile was just too infectious. "That's me," aloof expression still in place.

"I was hoping to audition for you," he replied, producing an acoustic guitar from behind him. "I would have sent a demo tape but, I thought I'd take the initiative since I was in town."

That was new, and rather bold. Peyton had to say she was very impressed, hopefully his singing was impressive too. Pointing out the empty chair, "Whenever you're ready," she said, figuring what the hell.

As prompted, he began strumming the guitar strings into a soft mellow tune. Brown eyes closed, as he shut out the world. "It's my rendition of _Take good care of my_ baby by _Bobby Lee_."

"_My tears are fallin', 'cause you've taken her away_

_And though it really hurts me so,_

_There's something that I've got to say…_"

He began in a rich tenor, unexpectedly sending shivers down her spine. For weeks, she'd been searching for singers, and here talent just walked in through her door.

"_Take good care of my baby_

_Please don't ever make her blue_

_Just tell her that you love her_

_Make sure you're thinking of her_

_In everything you say and do_"

He hit every note with such precision she had been longing for a long time. And singing one of her dad's favourite classics? she had to admit, she was blown away. His rendition was fantastic. His own original tone existed prominently, but had a little of that classic Bobby Lee style.

"_Take good care of my baby_

_Now don't you ever make her cry_

_Just let you're love surround her_

_Paint a rainbow all around her_

_Don't let her see a cloudy sky_

_Once upon a time_

_That little girl was mine_

_If I'd been true_

_I know she'd never be with you, so…_

_Take good care of my baby_

_Be just as kind as you can be_

_And if you should discover_

_That you don't really love her_

_Just send my baby back home to me_

_Well, take good care of my baby_

_Be just as kind as you can be_

_And if you should discover_

_That you don't really love her_

_Just send my baby back home to me_"

For a few moment they both stayed silent, after he strung the last notes. Peyton just in awe at how good he sounded. He had a voice and sound, that could pass in any genre; uniqueness that she really hadn't heard in a while. Also the fact he chose to sing a song written and produced in 1961, and made it his and modern enough to make people like the classic once again, was even more impressive.

"So…What do you think?" he asked trying to gauge her reaction seeing as she hadn't said a thing yet, "I could do one of my own songs?"

Sure the headache was still there, but for such a performance, Peyton managed a smile. "No, that was amazing. I like your tone, you have a good sound. I think I can really see you doing something great for the label."

"Thanks," unleashing another smile. "And I'm really hoping to sign with you."

She smiled back. Maybe this was a sign, that things may just be turning around, and her whole life wasn't about to fall apart.

"I'm Max by the way."

"It's nice to meet you, Max."

***

"_You've reach the Scott-Gatina residence, leave a message and we'll get back to you," _the answering machine filled the semi-silence of the living room of the mini-mansion.

After the beep rang through the hall, Lucas' voice filled the room. "Rach, I know your there. Look I just want to apologize for what I said and did yesterday I was out of line and you deserve better," a small pause filled the room, before he spoke again. "Rach, please pick up. I'm sorry…"

Rachel remained motionless, staring at the phone biting her fingernail not really knowing what to do.

_She really didn't know why she was doing it, but she found her legs moving toward the bar. "So where's the ball and chain?" it was cynical, but she didn't care. He didn't care when he left her, so why should she?_

"_Like you care," was Lucas' terse reply before gulping down his whiskey._

_Rolling her eyes, she sipped her own drink albeit it not being alcohol. "Just making conversation, but should have known better, I'm over it." picking her drink ready to move further down the bar, away from him but he caught her arm._

"_I'm sorry," he apologized, knowing it wasn't her fault he was in a bad mood. Hostility was how she handled her emotions._

_Despite warnings blaring, telling her she was going to regret it, she took the barstool once again, unable to look at him. "What's with you turning to alcohol?" she asked, but knowing exactly why he was drinking. She didn't really need to think to far to know that after finding out about Nathan and Peyton's relationship, Haley went babbling to her best friend. And judging from the copious amounts of alcohol he was consuming, he was having trouble accepting his little brother's seconds._

"_Like you don't know," he replied coldly wondering why he'd asked her to stay, when all she was going to be was bitter and cruel. "I thought we weren't talking?"_

"_We are not," she confirmed shutting-up. She couldn't risk him asking about what she'd blurted out the last time they talked. It was becoming very clear that it was a terrible idea sitting down beside him._

_Luke couldn't help chuckle at that, "Rach, you sat down next to me for a reason."_

"_Trust me, if I start talking you won't like me very much, so continue drinking yourself to oblivion and leave me alone," she said simply, ordering her first alcoholic drink of the night. In dealing with Lucas, it was a must-have._

"_Are you going to pretend it never happened?"_

"_You walking out on me? Yeah pretty much."_

"_That's not what I'm referring to," he said, not sure whether dredging this particular subject was a good thing. "You said that you l -"_

"_- oh please don't act like you care," she hissed, after downing a healthy amount of beer. "You left without caring whether or not I was okay, so you all over sudden caring about what's already lost… is too little too late."_

_Frowning he spoke, "I screwed up letting you go."_

"_You're saying that because you're lonely and got burnt, not for the reason of really caring for me, Luke. So, cut the remorse bullshit; I'm not going to be yours or anyone's rebound," pouring the beer down her throat hoping to ease some of the pain, and trying to get the hell away. She wasn't going to break, couldn't let herself break in front of him. Being vulnerable was for the weak, she wasn't weak. As much as it was about time to face up to him, she her heart wasn't ready to deal with the pain that was seeing Lucas._

_He looked at her shocked, and couldn't stop the words that came tumbling from his mouth. "Isn't that what you are to Nathan."_

"_Congrats Luke, when you strive to be a jackass you do it to utter perfection," she smiled coldly, giving him a sarcastic applause. She wasn't going to be baited to break, or be drawn in to his bitterness toward Nathan. _

"_The truth hurts," he said once again against his better judgement._

_She sniggered, "I guess you'd know, say hi to wifey for me," throwing down a few bills and storming off. What the hell was she doing? Plan was to go out and be around people, not come to indulge Lucas in an unnecessary duel and begin her drinking binge._

_She was only able to reach her car before, he caught up and spun her around. "Why won't you stay in a room with me for two seconds and just talk to me."_

"_About what? Do you expect me to burst into tears 'cause you left? Talk about my feelings? What could we possibly talk about Luke. What?!"_

_He was looking at her in a way that made her stomach flutter in the most insane way. She knew what was coming next before it happened, could have stopped it from happening, but just didn't want to. _

_So when he crashed his lips against hers in an angry, hungry kiss she responded to it in kind. The taste of alcohol on both their tongues evident as they tangled fiercely. He backed her fully against the car until she was lying across the hood of the car. It was shameful how much she wanted this, wanted him. Completely reprehensible, how she let him wedge his hips between her legs._

_What the heck was she doing? This was Lucas! Married-Lucas. Soon-to-be-a-frigging-father Lucas, and here she was practically dry humping on the hood of her car for the world to see. It took all her will power and strength to push him off, and smack him across the face for doing this to her again. "Stay away from me!" in a voice that just wasn't her own, because if she wasn't mistaken there was a crack in it that would have been very audible if she'd spoken louder._

"Honey, I'm home," Nathan called through the house, in his usual way that had become a joke for them. But, the red-head remained still, watching the phone. "Red?"

Finally looking up at him dazed, she smiled. "Hey, Hot Shot," she tried, not really knowing she was rushing toward him, and wrapped her arms around him, looking for some comfort.

Her rush and the tightness of her embrace told him that she needed to be held. If there was one thing he knew she wouldn't talk about it and he wouldn't ask, but he would be the first to know if she decided to speak about it.

"Don't hold this against me but, I missed you."

"Right back at you, Red."

***

As Max, played the last strings of the song, Peyton couldn't help smile. She had never been this excited to work with someone before. The fact that his musical knowledge was so vast and he had a degree in musicology, and gave her a few pointers she really didn't know about, made her love working with him even more. It was like each day, they met up and went through songs and notes, he would also teach her something new.

"That's a wrap," she called to him, and waited for him to exit the sound studio.

"I don't know about you, but I kind of liked how that sounded," he said. It wasn't conceit, but pride that he'd done something worth while. Working with Peyton was exactly what he needed, because she understood exactly what he was trying to put out there and what music meant to him.

She smiled brightly, "I kind of liked that too. Dude, you were totally awesome."

"Want to go celebrate?" Max asked. He knew she was off limits and wasn't trying anything, he just liked talking to her about music that, not so many understood. He saw refusal in her eyes, "when you create something worth while, you've got to celebrate it. Come on, I'm buying."

She debated on whether to go or not. It wasn't that she hadn't hang out with him before, it was Dr. Townsend's strict orders of taking it easy and bed rest that was the problem. Just coming to record the song had already pushed the envelope. "It not that I don't want to, I do. It's just my doctor's put me on strict bed rest and I've already broken a rule coming to work today."

"It's okay," he gave her an understanding smile, that melted her heart a bit, before he frowned slightly. "Peyton. We could have recorded some other time if the doctor -"

"- Max, it's fine. I needed to get out, and this was totally worth it."

At first she thought she imagined it, but then it happened again. A sharp piercing pain her poking her right side under her rib. Making her stop abruptly, and take in a sharp breath.

"Hey Peyton," Max touched her shoulder gently, concern covering his beautiful features. "You okay?"

She let go of a slow breath hoping it would ease the pain. "I just… need a minute," she said through gritted teeth. Oh lord it hurt, when she tried to breath.

"No, you're in pain," he pointed out gently, but still firm. Ceasing her elbow with a gentle hand, "I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Max -"

"- No argument," leading her to the car through her weak protests. Once he was assured of her safety in the passenger seat, he slid into the driver seat. "Is there anyone I should call?"

"No," was her answer because at that moment, she couldn't think of anyone.

More soon

_A/N: LR interaction. NP flashback. OC introduction. __**The title is Pocket Full Of Sunshine **__by __**Natasha Beddingfield**__. _

_**P.S: **__Cabot007 sorry for the confusion in the last chapter. In the first part she doesn't know yet, but finds out that's why she was giving Nate the cold shoulder, and yup she's PISSED about finding out, hence Peyton moving out of Brooke's place… that confrontation will be written in soon, when I write something I don't immediately delete. As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship.

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **a little suggestive language, nothing to colourful though.

**Silent Lucidity **

A week she'd waited for the results, and now that she had them, Peyton couldn't bring herself to open them. This was it. Her baby's paternity, and she was too chicken to open them. Reading them would put a lot of people out of their misery, but here she was sitting in her lonely hotel room, selfishly keeping the knowledge of her baby's paternity unknown because she was afraid. How pathetic was she?

Okay maybe she was hesitant because, the test maybe positive and therefore the baby was Lucas'. It didn't mean she'd love her baby less, it just meant that she really, deep down inside, wanted the tests to read negative and for the baby to be Nathan's. It was a really selfish thought to have but, they had been through a lot of crap and this piece of news would be refreshing. So, maybe not to everyone around them, but for them it would mean the world.

***

"Rachel!" Lucas called, as he raced after the red-head who seemed intent on getting away from him. No-one needed to tell him that he'd messed up even more with her. Not only did he say some pretty unfair things to Rachel, but kissing her the way he did, like he still had a right to, was probably the most cruel of his actions. However, he was doing his best to apologise and it seemed that she was less than receptive.

"Go away, Luke," she shouted over her shoulder, not stopping her beeline for the door. If he'd tried this hard for their relationship, things would have been very different.

"Rach, I just want to apologize," he insisted, catching up with her finally, and grabbing her arm gently to stop her escape.

She was so tired of running, and really needed to stop. If he left, why was she the one running? "Why are you trying so hard to apologize now, Luke? Why do you care whether or not what you do affects me all over sudden."

"I care about you Rachel, and hurting you just 'cause I'm hurting is wrong," he explained.

She scoffed, "well, that's good. You can leave now," pulling out of his grasp, and continuing her way to the front door.

"I made a mistake -"

"- no. Don't even," she whipped round, anger blazing in her brown eyes. "I may not be Blondie's biggest fan, but you're her husband, where the hell do you get off kissing me."

"You kissed me back," he challenged.

"Lapse of judgement on my part then. Kind of like the relationship with you," hitting back. "Leave me alone, Luke."

He was about to say something, when Nathan's distinctive baritone interrupted. "Lucas, I think you should leave." He'd heard the last bit of the conversation, and couldn't help clench a fist at the information. Lucas kissed Rachel, when he was still very married to Peyton. Peyton, who was still very much pregnant with his child. Peyton, who picked the blonde over him.

"You don't get to say anything to me, Nathan," he pointed at the 3 month younger man. "Stay out of it."

"In case you're deaf and blind, she told you to leave and you're on my property," anything concerning the two women, _was_ his business, whether he liked it or not. And right now Lucas was hurting Rachel, and by extension Peyton, which Nathan just wouldn't allow. He, however didn't expect the blow to his jaw when he tried to lead the blonde male away from the situation.

Lucas was gunning for a second, but this time Nathan's quick reflexes kicked in and blocked it, landing a left hook of his own. In retaliation, Lucas tackled him to the ground trying to get another punch in.

"Stop!" Rachel shouted, knowing the situation had escalated beyond the catalyst that began it. "Luke, Nate stop!" Neither Scott seemed to hear her, so she took the risk of being clocked herself, advance toward them.

She could only thank the adrenaline pumping through her veins for the strength she found to pull Lucas off Nathan, before kneeling down and examining her brunette's friend injuries. "What the hell's wrong with you, Luke?" she demanded, brown eyes shooting daggers at the blonde.

"Why don't you tell her, Nate," not believe once again someone was siding with Nathan. He really was tired of being the bad guy.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "I already know Nate and Peyton were together before you run off with her and got married, get over it Luke."

"I see you're keeping thing from her too," Luke replied, trying to ignore the pain her words stirred in him. "The baby Peyton's carrying may not be mine. Yeah, my bastard of my brother slept with my wife. That's what's frigging wrong with me. Still want to protect him?" his tone steely, and eyes hard as he stormed off toward the car, leaving the two friends completely stunned.

_What they just did, didn't change anything, in fact it hurt more than helped. With Peyton still weeping by his side, clutching to the sheets for dear life. He felt horrible for making her experience such guilt, but he was just as destroyed by it as she was. For crying out loud, she had called __**them**__ a frigging _**Mistake** _and then minutes later let him make love to her. How was that a mistake? _

"_You can't go through with this," he told her, like it was the most solid fact of all._

_He could hear a sniffle coming from her, before she spoke in a croaked voice: "You got what you wanted Nathan, why are you still here?"_

_His shattered heart, crushed into pieces at the sound of that, "So this meant nothing?"_

"_We had sex. Just like we always do, what do you expect me to say to that?"_

"_Oh right, we were a mistake, sorry it passed my logic for a minute," he stood up, tracing his clothes. What the hell was he even doing here. She'd dismissed them, and he screwed her. And the biggest event of all, he got overly screwed over. He wouldn't change her mind, and honestly right now wearing his heart on his sleeve just to get spat on, wasn't his idea of love. "With you saying my name and all."_

_Peyton wiped her tear tracks, so she could face him. "What can I say, you good in bed. Don't let it go to your head," her whole body screamed nonchalance and he almost believed her, but like always those green eyes betrayed her. And once again like an idiot he had hope soaring in his heart. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he really that defective to think anything could come from the sorrow in her eyes?_

"_In that case, want to go again?" he asked with a cruel smile on his face, advancing toward her. "I mean it's just sex, right?" causing her to back up, "how about up against the wall this time, for old -"_

"_- Stop it."_

"_Stop what? Agreeing with you!"_

"_Nate please…"_

"_You don't love him, that's pretty obvious. Mistake or whatever you want to believe, what happened in that bed wasn't a mistake," he said his tone still angry. "What you felt with me wasn't a mistake, and if you don't see that … maybe I'm the one who made the mistake."_

_She was staring unseeingly at the space he'd just vacated, therefore didn't see him pick up the white satin belt from the floor before banging the door shut._

The feel of the satin felt much more softer and smoother under his fingertips, than the last time he'd sought comfort from it. With the new information Lucas had blurted out in anger, it confirmed that Haley, Brooke, and the blonde male all had him top of their shit lists. Rachel was yet to comment on the news, just simply told him to sleep it off and they'd talk tomorrow.

That child, the one growing inside of her that had torn his heart apart, could be his and it was highly likely too. That day. At the wedding. So many emotions had gone through him, that he hadn't thought about the consequences of his actions. All he thought about then, was having her one last time.

But, he had to reminded himself that it wasn't confirmed that it was truly his.

_Just sleeping beside her and waking up with her in his arms was one of the best parts of their relationship, because this time round they weren't just about the great sex, trust him when he said being with her was out-of-this-world, it was more meaningful. Heck, it run deeper than anything he'd ever experienced, dare he say, deeper that even what he had with Haley._

_When everyone went comforting Haley because he had supposedly fooled around with Rachel, effectively putting a nail in the coffin of their marriage, it was Peyton there ready to listen to him and get his side of the story. When Haley practically gave up on him, Peyton kicked his ass and made sure he went to rehab. Even going back to Haley's time as a rock star, Peyton had been there to see him through the dark times despite having her own problems to deal with. The only letters he could bare to read at Highflyers were hers. Basically through some of the most ugliest and most trying times, there she was. _

_And there she still was, lying by his side sleeping soundly in his arms. Truth be told, he'd expected her to run for the hills when he dropped hints about a baby. Maybe that was exactly what he'd wanted her to do, but she'd stayed and even added to the conversation. _

_A baby would probably be the most suiting addition to their perfect union._

_He didn't know when those olive greens, opened to look at him until he felt gentle fingers running through his hair. "Scott, you okay?" looking up he met green eyes filled with question, as his calloused hand continued to rub gently at her flat belly as he imaged a slight bulge due to a baby._

"_You'd be a great mother, babe," Nathan said, breaking off from daydream of having a child with her._

_A blush covered her cheeks, because sure they'd had baby talk before, but he'd never complimented her on being a mother. "Even with my crappy taste in music?" she asked with a smile, not sure what to say to that._

"_Besides that, I think you'd rock it," he smirked, as she pushed his head gently. "You don't believe it?"_

_She scoffed, "Nate, I'm about the most messed up person you know, destiny says I'm bound to scar my offspring," absentmindedly massaging his head. "Want to ask me that again?"_

"_Peyt, don't say that," balancing on an elbow, so he could look down at her._

"_What? State a psychological fact?" playing with the sheets, unable to look at him._

_Sighing, he raised her face so she could look him in the eye. "Sawyer listen to me, I'm pretty damn sure that you'd be a great mom. Look at all the happy references: Jenny… Jamie. You'll be great."_

"_Nate -" her protest was quickly cut of by a soft kiss. She knew he hated when she thought less of herself than she truly was. _

_Yes, she was excited at the idea of having a baby with him, it was all she could think about for days when they talked about it every time, but then the reality of everything came into focus, and all she could think about was how messed up her kids would be with a mother like her._

Nathan had been confident of her abilities when it came to motherhood, and her first act as a mother would be giving her baby a definite father.

Taking a deep breath, she tore open the envelope. This was it, after she read the results, there was no going back.

_*******_

"So…How much do you hate me?" Nathan asked, sitting down at the counter watching Rachel preparing her usual bowl of fruit for breakfast.

She raised an eyebrow, "I don't hate you Nate, I hate what you did though," handing him a fork and pushing a bowl of fruit and yogurt toward him. "Just like you love Blondie, I love that ass who's heart you destroyed. But, you're my buddy, the guy who's been there when things were beyond bad, can't stay mad at you too long, even if I want to."

"You do realise your just making me feel like an even bigger jackass, than I did two minutes ago," popping a bite size piece of watermelon in his mouth.

Smiling, she poked her own fork into an apple, "good, then my evil plan is working," savouring the slightly bitter green apple in her mouth. "But, we have bigger problems, like finding your elusive baby momma."

"Thought you hated what I did?"

"I almost had sex with Lucas on the hood of a car a few nights back, when I still believed he was married and having a kid, so we are even on being crappy people," she summarized, like it was the easiest thing on the planet. "Right now, we need to focus on tracking your wayward love-of-your-life and getting the what's what on that baby."

He looked at her completely floored, she was amazing. Lucas was truly a fool to lose her. "You're something else, Red."

"And then some."

***

There search turned out fruitless, because it seemed no-one cared to know where the blonde disappeared to after the big revelation. Brooke, no matter how much she was mad at both himself and Peyton, obviously knew exactly where the her best friend was, just didn't want to tell him.

"Okay, what do you think your doing," Rachel asked, when she found Nathan unpacking rather than packing.

"I'm staying, I have to find her, Red."

Rachel stormed over, ripping the t-shirt out of his hands and throwing it back in the bag. "No, you're going. I won't let you risk losing this again."

"This is my kid we are talking about."

"Haven't forgotten that fact, Sweetheart," pushing him away from the bag, and beginning repacking his bag. "Nate, think clearly here. You worked so hard to get back, are you seriously going to lose something that even Peyton wanted for you?"

God, he hated when she was right.

"Go to Charlotte and do your thing. I'll look for your girl and call you." shoving the bag in his arms and pushing him toward the door.

***

It was Monday, and for the first time in a long time she was on cloud nine. One of the reasons, was the fact that she was pretty damn sure she felt the baby move the night before. The only thing she'd done the whole weekend, was take Dr. Townsend's advice and sit back and relax, and find out the baby's paternity.

It was his. Her gut feeling had been right all along; it was Nathan's. And as much as they weren't together, she had never felt so connected to him, and maybe that was what lifted her moods enough to face another day of segregation from her friends.

Her first thought was calling him, but she'd quickly dismissed that idea, because such news deserved face-to-face revelation. Besides, Lucas needed to know first due to the fact that he had, after all, provided the DNA for the test.

The good mood however, deflated when she swag the door open and came face to face with Rachel.

"Hey Curly," was the red-head's greeting as she breezed past her, into the room. "You are one of the hardest blonde to find," looking around the room.

It figured the bitch would drop by unannounced and walk in uninvited. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your ass," Rachel stated simply, plopping gracefully on the bed. "Pack-up, Blondie you're moving up."

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel wondered, if the girl was slow. "I'm here to help you," she repeated in a lazy drawl. "You're pregnant and the stairs alone in this hotel, are risky for you. So I have an apartment all set up for you, seeing as you're on everyone's shit-list right now."

"And you're just doing this out of the goodness of your heart?" Peyton asked in a tone dripping with sarcasm, because she trusted the red-head as far as could spit. "Please Rachel, I can smell agenda from a mile away." Rachel always did something that would satisfy her in the end, her doing something pro bono would probably be when hell froze over.

"You catch on fast Blondie," complimented mockingly. Hey, if Peyton chose to think the worst, why not play a game. "My agenda is that, we love the same guy. You know who I'm talking about: tall, dark, handsome… killer jump shot -"

She really didn't need to hear this, "- Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Point is, I'm doing this for Nathan, you may have stomped all over his heart, but he still cares."

Raising an unconscious hand to her now visible swelling belly, as she felt her heart flutter.

"So it really is his?" noting the blonde's instinctive actions. A sign of kinship and protection. It was going to destroy Lucas even more, but it was definitely going to send Nathan over the moon. If she was as intuitive about him as she thought she was, having a baby with Peyton was a life long dream, and the fact that a sparkle was shining in those surprised green eyes, told her the blonde felt the same way.

It was easy to lie and deny it, but she just couldn't. "Yeah," she confirmed with an unsure, happy smile playing at her lips. "It is."

"Then do us both a favour, and accept the offer," Rachel told, her only to see the fight building in the olive green eyes again. "It's not charity, I eventually expect you to pay me back for the deposit," knowing that offering it for free, would just get her apprehension. Offering it as a loan and the blonde seemed to consider it. Most would roll their eyes at the act, but Rachel couldn't because it would make her a hypocrite; she would have done the same thing if given the same situation. "Now, can we get your crap in my car so we can move?"

Peyton never thought she'd say this, but Rachel was about the only one close to being a friend at the moment.

She also couldn't help but be glad that Nathan had her too.

More soon

_A/N:I know no NP interaction but, this was sort of a precursor to that all important conversation between them. The title is __**Silent Lucidity **_by_** Queensryche. **__As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship. Slight Peyton and Rachel Friendship

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **I did it. Wrote a little fluff…

_A/N: Thank you for reading, and for the reviews._

**Baby Love**

"A road trip?" Peyton repeated, uncertainly. It had been a week since Rachel had convinced her to move into the apartment, and attended one of her appointments with her. As much as she didn't say it out loud, or Rachel didn't want to hear it, she was truly grateful to have a friend once again. Albeit a bit blunt.

Rachel smiled, genuinely. "Did I stutter?" pulling Peyton to her feet.

"In case it passed your notice, Rachel, I'm pregnant," digging her heels on the ground.

"Being pregnant isn't a disease," Rachel countered, pulling the protesting blonde toward the door. "Besides, you'll like where were going."

As the buzzer for the 4th quarter filled the hall signalling the end of the game, Peyton couldn't help smile through tears of joy. Nathan was simply amazing out there, and even more impressive was him scoring the winning basket, earning the Bobcats a win of 86-78.

She remembered a time, when that final buzzer would ring, she would run across the court and fling her arms around Nathan, giving him a long slow kiss…But, that was a really long time ago, before they knew both Haley and Lucas. A time when it was just them, before their relationship went sour the first time round.

"Didn't I tell you, you'd like it Blondie?" Rachel broke into her internal musings. Since, Nathan still had to do a few interviews, it was impossible to catch up with him after the game. Of course, Rachel knew this and had planned it that way. To be honest she was sick of Peyton stalling, instead of just telling Nathan about the baby straight up. Nathan as well didn't know that she was bringing along the blonde to the game; he needed to concentrate solely on the game .

Rolling her eyes, "You really love being right, don't you?" she commented with a smile, as she rested her head against the glass, readying herself for the long ride home. But, _Home _wasn't the direction the red-head was driving towards. "Isn't Tree Hill the other way?"

"Too late to go back," Rachel reasoned.

"Okay genius, where are we going to stay then?"

"You'll see," was Rachel's cryptic response, before she turned up the volume to prevent anymore conversation.

***

All he wanted to do was go back to the apartment and hit the sack so he could set off early in the morning. As much as Rachel had assured him that she'd found the elusive blonde, and Peyton was fine, he just had to see for himself.

"There's our superstar," Rachel called out mid laugh, spotting Nathan enter the living room.

Surprised blue eyes focused on Peyton like he feared she was just a mirage and would disappear if he stepped any closer.

"How hot did you look hitting that shot at the buzzer," smiling a secret smile, she approached him, wrapping arms round his stiff frame that was still solely in tuned to the blonde.

"You didn't say you were coming," finally addressing Rachel, tearing his gaze away from the equally shocked Blonde.

Now everything made sense. As much as she wanted to call Rachel a manipulative bitch, she just wasn't. Manipulative yes, bitch far from it. Peyton however, would have liked a heads up before seeing Nathan, and having the conversation the red-head wanted them to have. Were the walls closing in, or was it just her?

"When have I ever missed one of your games?" she countered, with a sly smile on her face. "That, and Bridges invited me to have dinner. And look at the time, I'm late."

"Thought you were just flirting?" he asked, because even though Peyton was there, he would always be concerned about Rachel, especially when Lucas seemed to be interested once again.

"I love this big brother act, Hot Shot, but I'm a big girl," patting his chest reassuringly. It wasn't a lie that Bridges asked her out, and she said yes. And yes, she could see the concern in his eyes at what she was doing, but she needed to get over Lucas, because loving him just hurt too much. "Don't wait up!" she called over her shoulder, hoping Peyton wouldn't run.

It felt like hours before either one of them said a thing, Peyton got uncomfortable with the silence and spoke. "I watched the game. You were really great, Nate." An unsure smile tugging at her lips. She didn't really know if he would meet her olive branch with hostility.

A small smile graced his lips, before he took a tentative steps toward her. It meant a lot that she was there, and the fact that she was still with him and hadn't run away was even better. "I looked for you last weekend," he said sitting on the coffee table to face her. He wasn't going to be hostile; she would talk and he would listen.

"Yeah," dragging the word out nervously. "Lucas and I aren't …"

"Together?" he supplied, knowing it was hard for her. Normal-him would have been laughing sarcastically at her predicament, but they had a baby to think about, and damn it, he still loved her like crazy.

She cringed visibly at the words. For a moment she waited for him to break out in an I-told-you-so song and dance, but he remained quiet and expectant for her to continue. "I… I told him about us," she began. The surprise she was expecting to see on his face wasn't there. He knew. "And you don't seem surprised."

"The right hook to my jaw was an inkling he knew," Nathan replied.

At that, Peyton immediately looked up, searching for any bruises on his familiar handsome face, but found none.

"They faded a couple of days ago," knowing exactly what her eyes were looking for.

"I'm sorry." It was her fault.

"Don't be, I probably deserved it," looking down at his hands, knowing that it was obvious he was referring to their betrayal at the wedding. "Look. He said … I don't know if he was saying it because he was pissed, but he said that the baby- it might be mine?"

Her heart dropped, of all the ways she wanted him to find out about the baby, one wasn't during an angry brawl with Lucas. What was surprising was he wasn't more pissed. This was short tempered Nathan they were talking about. Always shot first ask questions later. "H-He told you that?" licking her dry lips. It was bound to be a hard conversation to begin with, but she didn't think it would be this complicated before they even talked.

"So… there's a possibility it's mine?" he asked, as she stood to put space between them. Judging from the look in her eyes, she felt trapped and attacked, and was looking for a way to escape. "Peyton, please don't run." he asked softly, not wanting to crowd her and make her feel even more trapped than she already felt.

She wasn't running, just needed some space from him. He was begin rational and all she could think about was how the walls were closing in. Nathan, hadn't yelled or insulted her in self preservation, and here she was denying him the right to the truth. What the hell was wrong with her? "No," she finally murmured, before she really thought of how he would understand it, and quickly added. "It's not a possibility, Nathan. I got a paternity test done, and… it's yours." She swallowed hard when he didn't say a thing.

"It's mine?" he asked in shy tone, not sure he wanted to believe it in case he woke up, and everything turned out to be a dream.

Trying a smile for size, she moved toward him slowly. "It's ours, Nate," she confirmed; placing an unsure hand on his shoulder, willing him to look up at her. She wasn't expecting him to stand up and kiss her senseless, they still had a lot to work out, if they ever wanted to pursue a relationship again, but the smile and unconcealed happiness shining in his eyes was enough for her.

He stood up, resisting the urge to kiss her. They weren't there yet, no matter what his hormones were begging him to do, they weren't there yet and wouldn't be there for a while. But, his tentative hand found her now very visible baby bump. Inside her growing, was their baby. Feeling a small movement under his palm, he spoke: "I don't know whether it's excitement but -"

"- it just kicked," she completed his sentence, not thinking twice about placing a hand over his own.

His laugh was one of the most beautiful things she'd heard in a while, and she just couldn't help watch him as he took joy in the most wonderful thing they've ever made. Blue eyes sparkling with uncontained excitement and happiness, lips tugged in the most adorable smile she'd ever seen him wear.

"It's definitely a boy," he stated proudly.

"uh-uh Scott, girls can kick ass too."

This was undeniably a start.

***

That smile was definitely worth her scheming if nothing else. "You look happy, I'm guessing things went well?" stealing his coffee.

"You didn't come back last night," he challenged, giving her one of the fruit bowls he'd prepared.

Rolling her eyes, she accepted the fruit bowl. "Daddy-Nathan should stay with Jamie, Hot shot. I went on a date, nothing more." He looked sceptical knowing Bridges, "Relax, you won't need to be punching anybody's lights out."

"Have a good time?" her happy was all he wanted, especially after her intervention the night before.

"Not as good as you did supposedly," the red-head smiled, effectively evading answering the question. "Was there any earth moving sex?"

"She's pregnant." He answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world

"So?" she chuckled, popping a piece of watermelon in her mouth. "If I hear right, women get more frisky during pregnancy." Laughing when Nathan choked on the juice he was drinking. "I'll take that as a no?"

He could only send his best friend a glare, before picking the tray and taking it to Peyton.

He still wasn't tired of the sight of her asleep. If anything, she got even more irresistible with pregnancy. That alone, was a true indicator that he was still very in love with the woman, and even though they weren't together, he was more crazy about her now that she was pregnant by him. It was selfish, but he couldn't care even if he wanted.

Setting the tray on the bedside table, he sat down beside her. Just like always, he raised a hand and pushed the hair way from her face, thumbs gently caressing her cheek a moment longer. As expected, she opened her green eyes looking at him, giving him a sleepy smile. "Morning."

"Morning …" letting the _babe _stay stuck on his tongue. It just seemed so natural to say it, but what felt natural and what was right were two different things at this point. "How'd you sleep?"

She smiled lazy, "Pretty darn good," she confessed, wanting this moment to last forever. This moment that gave her hope for the future. "Your mattress is a dream. Is it one of those wonder-ones they keep advertising?" Thinking she needed to invest in the ridiculously comfortable mattress.

"You'll have to ask Red, she's the one who furnished the apartment," giving credit where credit was due.

She didn't know if it was too early, but she couldn't resist. "Explains why it doesn't look crappy," cracking a smile, her heart on edge. But, at his laugh, it settled. They were definitely moving somewhere.

"I didn't know what you wanted," he said, after their laughter died out into a comfortable silence, pointing out the tray. Nervous the tray of Fruit, cereal, juice and yogurt, wasn't satisfactory. "Any crazy cravings?" he asked, knowing it was a possibility.

She smiled, completely floored by him. It was amazing sometimes how a man's man like Nathan, thought of such things. "Pancakes."

"You're kidding?" he laughed.

"_I could really go for some pancakes right about now," Peyton said out loud randomly, making Nathan wonder if she knew what she's just said._

"_Babe, it's the middle of the night," he informed her, kissing her temple._

_Moving out of his arms, "So?" she pulled his sweatshirt over her usual tank top and shorts. "I'm going to make some."_

_This was definitely a pattern he'd started noticing. Every time, her period was round the corner she would randomly crave pancakes. He hadn't asked about the routine before, but he just needed to know. Most men wouldn't want to know._

"_Babe?"_

"_Hmm."_

"_Is it that time of the month?" not mincing his words._

_Peyton smiled, a blush on her cheeks. "In a couple of days…"_

"_You're the only girl I know who has cravings without the pregnancy."_

"_Shut up," embarrassed enough as it is._

_He just walked over and wrapped his arms around her. "It weird, but it kind of cute," resting his chin on her shoulder. "One of those unique things that make you, you Sawyer." __**And he loved her for**__._

"You still remember that?" she asked, a blush on her cheeks.

He smiled, "Your random craving of pancake? Kind of hard to forget, Sawyer." Adorable was what she was, all flustered.

"Are you just going to sit there? Baby wants pancakes daddy, baby gets pancakes," she mocked seriousness. "So get your baby pancakes."

_His baby, _he couldn't help smile at that fact.

More soon

_A/N: A little RP friendship, and lots of NP… things are about to get dark. Title is __**Baby Love **__by __**Nicole Scherzinger**__. Why? 'cause there is a baby, and NP is love dudes. __**N/B(Unrelated fact): **__Max visually looks like Danny Tidwell from So You Think You Can Dance? Season 5. As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.**

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship. Slight Peyton and Rachel Friendship

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: **Mostly filler, and dear heavens is that… I think it's fluff.

_A/N: Thanks for reading y'all. Oh and my lovely reviewers, you know you kick ass right?_

**Stop and Stare**

When Rachel walked into the house, the tension filling the air was thick enough to be cut by a knife. Worse still, it wasn't even the sexual kind; so much for a happy ending for her two friends. Two weeks was how long the niceness had lasted; she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"What with the war stance in here?" Rachel commented, figured it was best to be between the two and dissolve the situation. Nathan would never physically hurt Peyton, or any woman for that matter, but when he wanted to, he could be a real potty-mouth.

The guy just didn't have a filter from brain to mouth.

Nathan was clutching the kitchen counter hard enough that his skin was taunt over his knuckles, stark white. "Did you know?" he asked not raising his bowed head to look at her, trying to control his temper. All this time and none of them had thought to mention it? Not once in the two damn weeks!

"I'm guessing Blondie and I did something that pissed you off?" The glare sent her way, was clear indication that he was teetering on the edge of going postal. "Okay, Scott how about using words, 'cause I'm not exactly a mind reader."

"Preeclampsia," he stated simply, finally looking up at the red-head, seeing if she would lie to his face. "Did you know about it?"

How did she not see that coming? They were still the two idiots still running around the point that they were crazy about each other, how could she not have predict that Peyton would keep her condition from Nathan, even though Rachel explicitly told her to tell him. Rolling her eyes, "That's why your throwing a fit?" she asked nonchalantly, despite knowing Nathan wasn't really in the mood for it. The _drop dead _glare aimed her way, pissed her off. "Enough with the death glare, Nate. She was the one to tell you, not me. My deal, is to know and make sure she's okay. So quit trying to kill me with your eyes."

"Besides, you heard the doctor. We are doing great to control its progression so you need to just chill out," Peyton said, stepping in before Rachel got dragged into it.

"_Chill out_?" he repeated, not believing those words came out of her mouth. Facts were that this condition was not only a danger to the baby, but also to Peyton as well. So _chill out_? "How the hell can you ask me to just relax, you have -"

"- Yes. _I _have it. That won't change today, or tomorrow," interrupting him, not really wanting to fight. "I'm freaking out enough as it is Nate, I don't need you freaking out along with me."

Silence wasn't her thing, but Nathan and Peyton needed to work things out on there own. She was simply there to be mediator when needed, otherwise her butt was staying out of it.

"Peyt, I'm just…" _worried_. Simple word, yet he just couldn't say it out loud in fear of it becoming reality.

"I know, but seriously just…chill."

It wasn't over, but it was her cue to enter the conversation. "Pancakes anybody?"

Peyton just laughed and let Rachel lead her to the kitchen.

***

After spending an overdue afternoon with Jamie, Nathan decided it was time he spoke to Peyton again. As much as he wished they'd resolved their issues back at the house, they were far from completely talking it out. He had been pissed off and irrational in the morning, but who could blame him when Peyton was keeping something so vital away from him? The thought of losing her… it scared the living frigging daylights out of him.

He wasn't blind, she wasn't feeling all that right as she feigned and the doctor assured them.

"Nate?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Could we talk?" he asked.

Stepping aside, she invited him. Why on earth was her heart beating so fast? "So what's up?" she asked; it wasn't a secret what he wanted to discuss, but it was the only thing she could think to say.

"Peyton, why didn't you tell me?" he asked. Whether or not they were together, he'd always hated when she kept things from him, and he had to find out from someone else. Heck, he'd been a jumbled mess of emotions when he'd found out about the possibility of the baby being his, and even then it felt terrible being one of the last to know. Selfish as it may sound.

" 'Hey Nate Guess what I have? Preeclampsia!' It isn't exactly something you can just blurt," she replied, rationally. "Nate, I knew exactly how you'd react -"

"- And how's that?" He asked, a little defensive.

He was doing it again. Exactly what she was talking about. "Like this! Nate you look ready to punch something, when this situation can't be helped - Let me finish," seeing him wanting to jump in. "I was just as pissed off as you are right now, but I had to deal. Still have to. Yes, it's a risk, but Nathan it's one I'm willing to take. I know you feel the same way."

"Peyt, I just…" he trailed off, not knowing how to say what he was feeling without being completely vulnerable in front of her once again. He loved her, but he just wasn't ready to let her in completely just yet. He was vulnerable. Scared. Terrified. Completely clueless about how to handle a situation like this. They were both in danger, all the time, how on earth was he suppose to handle that?

It hurt that he wouldn't say completely what he wanted to tell her, but she understood. The time he trusted her fully, had passed when she'd married Lucas. Walking over to him, she took a seat on the armrest and tentatively rubbed circles on his broad back in silent comfort. For a few scary seconds, she feared he was going move away from her touch, but he didn't. Just sighed, and let her continue.

Was it wrong for him to relish her touch? To be completely content with her offered comfort. She was really making it hard to not be open with her. Even though he was trying so hard to be as closed off as possible, she still knew he needed that comfort. It wasn't suppose to be seductive he knew, but dear lord her hand on the back of his neck… He sighed.

"I saw Jamie today," she said conversationally to fill the silence. A silence that was increasingly becoming tense with … sensuality. "Cute as ever." Moving her hand to his back again, to prevent her fingers from digging into his dark locks.

He smiled with pride, "Yeah, he couldn't stop talking about his _aunt Peyton _all afternoon," his son had been beyond elated at seeing his blonde aunt. "He misses you," looking at her, so she could see he was being sincere.

"I miss him too," she admitted, hating the fact that tears were building in her eyes. She loved Jamie and would hang out with him everyday if she could, but now that she was on his mother's hate list, his regular visits were ceased. "But what can you do, right?" forcing a smile.

She knew an apology was coming her way, but she really didn't want one. "Were you tearing up?" it was a random question, but she didn't want them to tumble back to the past, when they were doing so well moving past it.

"What?"

"During the ultrasound, I totally saw those blue eyes swimming with tears," she reminded him. Just like in senior year when he told her about his mother, and she confessed her inability at whistling, she evaded the heavy topic.

"Tears? You must be seeing things Peyt," he had been kinda, sorta, maybe… was tearing up, but it was only because it was becoming real. They made a baby.

From there, things ease into relax conversation and laughs. There was no other place he would rather be even if he had to get up early and drive back to Charlotte. This was totally worth being dog tired on the drive there.

"… he is amazing, Nate," Peyton finished telling him about Max, as he continued massaging her feet. If someone asked her when that started, she didn't know. All she knew was that it felt good. Really good.

He could have been jealous about the guy who managed to bring the shine in those olive greens, but he was far from it. He grudgingly admitted that he was happy someone was able to make her believe again, when things were falling apart. "It's getting late," he mentioned, knowing he needed to leave, but man, he wanted to stay.

"Yeah, someone has to get to practice and win a certain home game sending his team to the playoffs," she smiled with pride. Sure she didn't want him to leave, but he needed rest. Moving her feet off his lap, she walked him to the door. At his hesitance, she spoke: "Rachel has already put her number on speed dial two, yours on three and the house phone on four. I'll be fine."

That wasn't the only reason he was hesitating but, she didn't need to know that. "I'll see you when I get back."

"I know," smiling at him, before he walked away. But she couldn't keep it in even if she wanted to, "Nate?"

He turned looking at her expectantly, "Yeah?"

"I … I kinda liked tonight," correct word would be _loved_, but it was too early to say it out loud.

"Me too," smiling back before walking away.

Closing the door she couldn't help smile. Honestly, she felt like a pre-teen whose crush had just glanced her way. He really, truly _still_ had that spell over her. The power to make her feel like a teenager again. At first she thought she'd imagined it, because she was hoping he would come back, but she heard it again. A distinct knock on her door. But, it was silly to think he was back, they were barely friends, and though hanging out was great, they weren't there yet.

"Did you forget something?" she asked, trying to stifle the smile that was bubbling under the surface.

In all honestly, he didn't know why he walked back and knocked at her door. But, he did. Now that he was standing there, his mind was telling him to do one thing. And that's what he did, swooped down and captured her lips in the softest kiss he could muster. When she didn't respond he began moving away, maybe he'd been presumptuous about things.

However, she shocked him when she moved forward and kissed him just as gentle. Everything was screaming that he should pull back and walk away, but he just couldn't. Instead he added more pressure to the kiss.

This was never them. A soft kiss. With them kisses were almost always hungry and passionate, never soft and tender, borderline unsure. Both their lips parted simultaneously, their tongues touched softly. His hands framing her face, before he deepened the kiss slowly.

It was all consuming, and they didn't plan on stopping.

***

"Tell me something, Blondie, what's the deal with this Max guy?" Rachel inquired looking the blonde's fridge, making a mental shopping list.

Frankly, she was a bit frazzled by the guy. In their brief meeting and conversation, the guy had moved back and forth between worried about Peyton, to blatantly flirting with red-head.

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "His deal?"

"I mean does he eye-rape every girl he sees, or was that special treatment reserved for me?" Okay, so it was consensual eye-sexing, but that was besides the point.

Raising an eyebrow, she looked at the red-head. "Are we talking about the same Max?"

"That answers the question," shutting the fridge door. "So… you've got the hospital on speed dial one, me on two."

"Got you the first time Rachel."

Rachel turned looking at her. Yes, she'd repeated the same words ten times over, but Peyton hadn't been looking good the past few days. The headaches, nausea, breathlessness and palpitations were really starting to wear the blonde down, which worried her a lot. Especially after finding her passed out on the living room floor earlier in the week. Not only did she have to worry about keeping Peyton safe, she had the added pressure of honouring her best friend's request to look after his love. "I'll be gone for fifteen minutes tops, your Curly ass, better not get off that couch."

"What, now I need permission to pee?" Raising a tired, sarcastic eyebrow at her unlikely new friend.

Rachel raised an eyebrow back, "You know smartass comment aren't going to do anything for you. Need anything specific to snack on?"

"Chocolate chips. I need to make some pancakes."

Rachel rolled her eyes. Of all the weird cravings to have… pancakes? She just didn't get it.

***

Rachel couldn't help roll her eyes as she saw the petite brunette approaching her. As much as she still loved Brooke, having the woman spit at her offers of friendship hurt her, and she didn't need it. "Look Brooke, if you came to insult me, you'll have a better response from a stone," throwing the box of chocolate chips in the basket, "I'm not in the mood." With that she proceeded down the aisle, unlucky for her though, it was Brooke. Man, was this girl persistent!

"My claws are retracted," Brooke waved a white flag, because this wasn't about her resentment toward Rachel but, about Peyton. "Besides, I'm not here for you."

If there was a woman Brooke loved above anything else, it was Peyton. And, if she was right, the months away from her best friends, were probably giving the brunette a little withdrawal. Were the people she cared about all idiots? "Enlighten me as to why your stalking me then?" giving Brooke her full attention.

"Stalking? Oh please, don't flutter yourself -" Brooke began her attack, because the red-head was just baiting her and damn it, she was biting. But, she stopped herself short, "Look, I just want to know -"

"- how Blondie is doing?" Rachel cut in, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips accompanied by a raised eyebrow.

Brooke could only glare at the taller woman's amusement, because she couldn't dispute that fact. It was the pure naked truth, and she hated the fact that Rachel could still read her so easily. "Well?" she snapped.

"Why don't you talk to her personally, you know the thing adults do," Rachel quipped.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "I don't need this." Storming off.

Rachel just let the brunette storm off, if she was right she would catch up with her sooner or later. And as predicted, the brunette was leaning on her car when she walked out of the convenience store, obviously waiting on her. "Didn't get that far, did you?"

"Rachel -"

"I think someone needs to knock your heads together," cutting in immediately. "I'm going to talk and you're going to listen, _then_ I'll tell you what you need to know. Peyton and Nathan, those two belong together. That's just destiny. As much as you want your precious _Naley_ back together, it wasn't going to happen whether or not Nathan and Peyton happened. That night I _supposedly_ threw a spanner in the works, he was telling me how he doesn't think it was working out, his heart just wasn't in his marriage, but he was still willing to work at it."

It was shocking that the brunette was listening but, she wasn't going to question it, "Peyton is the only woman who can make Nathan happy, Haley just needs to get over her drama. Brooke, quit bullshitting us with your hard line stance when you miss them both. Haley has her best friend on her corner, Peyton's missing that."

Brooke hated when the red head made blatant sense.

Seeing her words sink in, Rachel did as she promised. "She misses you, and is going through a pretty rough patch, so if you're not going to be anything but, her totally awesome _B. Davis, _don't go see her. On the other hand, if you are really worried, miss her, and want to be there. Do something about it, instead of making me a go between."

Nathan was beyond ecstatic, and why wouldn't he be? He made the winning shot and most importantly, was going to see Peyton again, and maybe feel his little girl kick again. Yup, Peyton had been right, the little kicker growing in her belly was a girl. A heck of a kicker too, like her mother of course. Anna Jordan Scott, would be in there world in a few short months, he couldn't wait to hold that beautiful little girl in his arms.

_The only reason he pulled away was due the light movement coming from inside Peyton's belly. For the longest moment, they just looked at each others appearance and swollen lips, wondering if what just happened was really that good. Forget good, it was frigging amazing._

"_Is it jus me or is she excited," taking his hand and placing it over her belly to feel the sensation of their babies movements, a giggle escaping her involuntarily._

_He didn't really know how he'd gone from not letting her in, to laying bare in front of her. "Then I'm guessing, Anna, is just like her mother," causing a tall tale blush to colour Peyton's cheeks. "Peyt -"_

_She didn't let him finish, obviously scared to hear the words _mistake _coming from his lips. That word, from now on, wouldn't exist between them, and she wouldn't let him say it. So she kiss him. A soft whisper of a kiss on his kiss swollen lips. "Please, don't say it."_

_They needed to talk about what just happened but, he wasn't going to push._

_Deep down inside, he wanted to keep the beautiful moment the way it was. Untainted with issues, and uncomplicated with over-analysis._

Oh, he could wait.

_***_

Brooke was just full of surprises, following Rachel to Peyton's to see the blonde. And she was not going to complain, they needed each other and it was about time the two friends got through the unnecessary bitching.

"And you insist that you aren't stalking me," Rachel commented, not really unhappy at the brunette's presence. Yeah, she was growing somehow fond of Peyton, but that was also a problem because well… she still loved Lucas, and didn't need to be reminded of how much the two blondes had in common.

Brooke just spared her a tight smile, as she waited patiently for the red-head to open the door. Was she pissed off at Peyton? Maybe a little. Did she miss her P. Sawyer? Immensely. Rachel had been right about something, Nathan would only be happy with Peyton. Even when he'd been with Haley, the one he went to talk to when thing got thick was Peyton. As much as they tried to condemn it, Nathan was in love with Peyton and … Peyton loved him back. It had just been a matter of time.

"Blondie, I got your chocolate chips. Come satisfy your freaky cravings," Rachel called out through the apartment, finding the couch empty.

Brooke smiled, no matter how nervous she was. Did Peyton still have a pancake craving?

Rachel didn't like the fact that a sarcastic reply didn't get shouted back at her. "Come on Sawyer, move your ass or I'm starting the movie without you." Still no answer came hollered back. Something didn't feel right. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll go find her."

Making her way down the hallway that led to the master bedroom, she sighed in relief to find the door slightly ajar. "Curly, your ass better no -" she couldn't continue the sentence when she pushed the door opened. Heart sank at the sight; Peyton unconscious on the floor and… and… so much blood. God she was so pale.

"PEYTON!" moving quickly, cradling the blondes head in her lap, gentle slapping her hoping those green eyes would open and look at her annoyance. "Brooke call an ambulance!" she slapped again a bit harder, but the blonde's eyes remained closed. "Peyton!"

More soon

_A/N: Not as dark yet, but like I said it will be getting pretty dark soon. The title __**Stop and Stare **__by __**One Republic**__. As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship. Slight Peyton and Rachel Friendship

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: ****heavy **ANGST.

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews, and for reading._

**All Good Things (Come To An End)**

It may have looked, to outsiders, that Rachel was completely insensitive to Brooke and situation, because she hadn't shed a tear or bothered to console her friend. But, she wasn't. She just figured someone needed to be strong and clear minded in this situation. To be honest, it had to be the worst case of déjà vu she could ever experience and every fibre of her being was screaming for to curl up in a corner and cry out, but she squashed it fiercely knowing Nathan would need her when he finally got here.

Hopefully it would be soon.

The doctors were yet to tell them anything, and Rachel's impassive expression was picking at her last nerve. The red-head was acting like Peyton wasn't in there fighting for her life right now. If it wasn't for her hands balled up into fist to regain some semblance of calm, she would have stalked over to the bitch and shook her 'til her teeth rattled in her head.

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief when a distressed Nathan finally came through the doors. Throwing her arms around him, she just took a moment to be grateful that he had arrived whole and okay despite the urgent voicemails she'd left him. Even when he pulled her back, she didn't take offence.

This was about Peyton not her.

"Where is she?" Nathan asked immediately, not liking the sight of Brooke bawling so hard. It just wasn't a good sign.

"They still have her in surgery," Rachel replied.

"What happened?" Nathan asked confused.

Rachel spoke, knowing the wrong words would probably get her blamed for the whole situation and she really couldn't handle being on Nathan's shit list. "Peyton… hasn't been doing too good this past week. The doctor said it sometimes happen with a condition like Preeclampsia. Peaks when you least expect it to -"

"Why didn't you call me if she wasn't doing okay?" he asked, not harshly, but unfortunately it come out as an accusation and he didn't think to rectify it.

"You know Peyton, she's stubborn and she asked me not to call you."

"Rachel when do you listen to anyone, you should have called me."

Rachel wanted to hold his accusations to heart, but knew he was just very worried about Peyton. "Hot shot, you need to stop pointing fingers here. Her situation getting worse wasn't anyone's fault. You think I don't feel crappy enough as it is, without my best friend jumping down my throat? You love her, but I care about her too, so quit pointing accusing fingers at me." Her words would have been worse but, like she said, he was being angry, irrational Nathan right now and standing in his way would just get her the brunt of his fury and worry. With a huff, she took a seat next to Brooke, taking the brunettes hand to comfort her.

Right then Nathan wouldn't accept any comfort, and all she could do was give him a little space before approaching him again.

Tense minutes ticked by, with Nathan pacing a mile in front of the two women casting agitated eyes at the clock every now an then.

Brooke had finally stopped shedding unrelenting tears, and allowed herself the comfort of Rachel's shoulder and arm. She wasn't oblivious to the fact that Nathan didn't seem to want to acknowledge her let alone look her way, and Rachel beside her was itching to yell at him to stop.

Unable to stand the pacing any longer, Rachel latched onto Nathan's wrist, brown eyes imploring him to sit and let her be there for him already. It was an anxious few moments before, he deflated and allowed himself to take a seat. The red-head didn't hesitate to rub reassuring circles on his ridge back. All Rachel could hope for was that everything was alright and the doctors would come out and tell them that Peyton was just fine.

***

When Dr. Townsend finally appeared, Brooke was asleep curled up by a stone faced Rachel who refused to let any emotion through. Maybe that could be attributed to the fact that both Lucas and Haley were there; not exactly her favourite people in the world. It was Nathan who was first on his feet and demanding answers. "What's going on?" he asked worry and anger meshing up, into an unpleasant emotion.

"We have stopped the bleeding and finally have her stabilized. The full effects of the Preclampsia should dissipate in the next 48hours." Nicole answered, hoping that bit of news would relieve some of the tension in the young man. "She's now in recovery."

A comforted sigh was expelled by the rest, but Rachel and Nathan weren't to quick to be relieved. Something didn't feel right, making the red-head move closer to the would-be father just in case. "And the baby?" Nathan asked, swallowing hard hoping the horrible feeling at the pit of his stomach was nothing.

"The trauma suffered by the baby was great; the cord became detached from the placenta. We did everything we could, but due to her small size and under development of her organ… there was nothing more we could do… I'm sorry we lost her," she literary saw the young man break into pieces in front of her. Professionally, she was suppose to emotionally distance herself from the situation, but in this case a small twinge of pain stabbed at her heart to see the young man so destroyed.

He couldn't breath. His lungs just refused to inflate and deflate. Blood run through his vein felt somehow colder and the whole world seem to fade away. Heart fell to the ground. His knees… his knees, he just couldn't feel them anymore as he collapsed to the floor, his whole body weakened with grief and eyes stung with unshed tears. His little girl was _dead_.

Anna…

Anna was _gone_? Someone was on their knees beside him, holding him, running fingers through his hair and whispering words, but he just couldn't seem to hear. What could anyone possibly tell him when… his little girl was dead. _What_?!

Numbness was overtaken by anger. Untamed, unrestrained anger. Ripping his body away from the woman's hold he began storming down the hallway. His heart felt useless in his chest. But he didn't go to far, before breathlessness stopped him and rage filled his being completely and he attacked a nearby solid wall. Pain? Was it even something that existed? Fists, kicks; he attacked it with every damn thing he had.

The tears she refused to cry came pouring down hot and fast as Rachel watched her friend break. Instincts took over and told her to go over to him before he really hurt himself, but Lucas quickly restrained her and instead took over the task of pulling his brother off his worst enemy at the moment. The wall.

Nothing the blonde male said registered with Nathan, he just kept on fighting to get free and continue attacking that bloody wall. Nobody, would be able to ever make the pain less, but he needed to calm down. With a risk of injury, Rachel stepped toward him evading his arms that were swinging around dangerously so she was in direct eye line of him, hands framing his face. "Nate, calm down," her voice drenched in tears. "Please, Nate your scaring me." It was true, he was scaring her and despite the whole world watching, she let her vulnerability shine through. "Sweetie, please calm down."

Lucas heart stopped slightly when Rachel literary walked into Nathan's line of fire. Every fibre of his being screamed and begged to protect her, but letting the still agitated Nathan loose would be more danger to her. Not that Nathan would ever hurt a woman, it was just that he wasn't completely in his right mind and his mindless flaying about was bound to catch the red-head.

Trusting her instincts, he just held on steady, watching her, saying a silent prayer and hoping she knew what she was doing. Somehow, he was unsurprised that his little brother began relaxing in his arms, his best friend's word obviously getting to him where the threat of the orderlies and pain of his bloodied fists didn't. That was why, with caution he began relinquishing his hold on Nathan, until finally the brunette male fell heavily into Rachel's waiting arms.

No single words escaped her when she finally had Nathan in her arms, all she could really trust herself to do was rub his back in silent comfort, as silent tears escaped both of them.

***

For 24 hours he watched Peyton's pale, deathly still form with bated breath, battling on whether or not her waking up would be good. On one hand, all he wanted was for her to open those beautiful green eyes again, but on the other hand, dreaded what would happen when she finally discovered that their baby was gone. The only thing really keeping him sane and together was Rachel, staying at his side refusing to leave. At the moment the exhaustion caught up with her, and she was sleep on his lap, his hands playing with her hair just to have something to do.

When he heard the groan, he thought his lack of sleep was finally making him hallucinate, but he heard it once again, accompanied with the rustle of sheets. Was she walking up? His heart beat faster, as he tried to manoeuvred around Rachel quickly without walking her, to get to Peyton. If she was really waking up, it would probably be best if she was the first person she saw. "Peyt?" he asked softly, brushing curl away from her face. "Babe?" The term of endearment slipping from his lips easily.

Her face scrunched up in pain as she let her eyes flutter open with a groan. Though he was trying to be calm, his voice betrayed his worry. He needed her to wake up. But her eyes, quickly shut again at the assault of bright light that flooded her pupils. God, her whole body ached badly. And why did everything smell so sterile? "Nathan…" she inquired in a croak of a voice that sounded nothing like her. It sounded impossibly weak.

Her baby, was she okay. Damn it, she couldn't even lift an hand to feel her belly.

"I'll get a doctor," Rachel rushed out of the room, Nathan oblivious to the fact that his actions earlier hadn't been quite as stealthy as he thought, and he had nudged her fully awake.

Opening her eyes into slits, she tried her best to focus on Nathan, "Nate. W-where …?"

Rachel sat in the farthest corner of the room not wanting to leave Peyton and Nathan alone, but not wanting to impose on them either. She had to commend Nathan on deflecting all queries Peyton had until the doctor arrived, keeping her attention diverted on anything but, her rather flat belly, that was now empty.

"Nathan hasn't told me anything, I want to know what's going on," Peyton demanded, tired of getting the run around from both Nathan and Dr. Townsend.

Nicole gave Nathan a cautionary glance, before she began, "When you were brought in you had lost a lot of blood. It's rare but, like I told you before, with Pre-eclampsia, it can flare up at any time -"

"- And my baby is - is she…" The sinking of her heart couldn't be helped, when a grim air hung in the room like a dense fog.

"I'm sorry Peyton," the young blonde paled even more, whispering a barely audible 'no'. "We did everything we could," a much louder 'no' escaped Peyton, tears streaming down her face. "But, we lost her."

"No," Peyton contradicted in denial, lifting a lethargic hand on her belly as if it changed everything. Anna couldn't be gone, "No." They had to be lying, her baby couldn't be gone. "No, no, no, no…"she recited in a loud mantra, voice cracking with tears as she tried to pull away from Nathan arms. Why was he trying to comfort her when her baby wasn't dead.

He thought his heart couldn't possibly break more that it already had, but seeing her breakdown, denial and desperation splashed on her face., her hands fighting hard to get free of his hold as if she was trying to escaped the dreaded truth that their baby was gone. Finally giving up the fight, she let herself fall into his arms fully, crying loudly in unbridled pain into his chest, and clutching his sleeve like her life depended on it. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, as his own silent tears found their way through tightly shut eyelids.

Rachel wrapped her arms round them both sharing in their grief in more ways than one. She cried for Nathan. She cried for Peyton. She cried for their baby. She cried for herself. And most importantly, she cried for the baby she herself lost. The one she had refused to grieve with raw tears, but instead with alcohol and sex.

Nicole faded out of the room, leaving the would-be parents and friend to their grief, seeing no needed for sedatives.

More soon

_A/N: Hate to do that, but what comes in the next chapters will make up for it… I think. The title __**All Good Things (Come To An End) **__by_ _**Nelly Furtado**__. As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.**

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton. Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship. Slight Peyton and Rachel Friendship

**Rating: **Strong T

**Warnings: ****heavy **ANGST.

**Broken Strings**

Yet again all Peyton had done the whole day was lay in bed refusing food or drink. Just staring at the wall head laying on a tear soaked pillow. The only thing Rachel was glad for, was Nathan wasn't around to see his love so destroyed. He was already torn apart as it is without having to see his girl shattered.

That was another feat, getting Nathan to honour his commitment to the Bobcat in lieu of staying by Peyton side. She was pretty sure if she was a guy, he wouldn't have thought twice about clocking her one for even suggesting leaving Peyton's side, Lucas wasn't as lucky though and got a punch for his trouble. But somehow, her smooth talking, manipulative ways paid off when she somehow convinced him to go to Charlotte, that Peyton needed time and she would take care of the blonde and call him with updates no problem.

The only life the blonde has shown since leaving the hospital was telling Lucas, Brooke and Haley to go fly a kite and quit being hypocrites. She had never heard such bitter and hateful words leave the blonde's lips before and it was kind of scary. Lucas got away relatively unscathed, with a "Stop being the good guy for once and leave me alone". However Brooke and Haley? It was a serious bloodbath.

Another scary event was the blonde's nervous break down. Seeing her so destroyed, barely holding it together and struggling to get a breath out, was about the worst sight. Again, she was just extremely happy that it was her and not Nathan who found her and convinced her without too much effort to stay at the house with her. But even then the woman hadn't left the room since. Yeah, she was know for her blunt bitch attitude when it came to dealing with things, but the girl would have broken under her brutality.

But out of the whole week, the saddest point had to be burying the would-be first born child of Nathan and Peyton. Her smallness in the red-head's arms was about the most tragic of all. It was so unfair that someone so pure, so innocent was taken before even seeing this life no matter how hard a life it was. Taken from her parents before they even knew her. Honestly, she was ready to abort mission and run for the hills when she saw the morgue attendant carrying the little bundle toward her. She'd honestly thought getting the casket and tombstone made were the kickers, but holding the tiny, lifeless body in her arms, that was the swift hard kick in the gut.

The funeral, as expect was attended by everyone but the parents of the little baby. Rachel may have her differences with Lucas and Haley, but she was glad they weren't heartless. And as much as it may have annoyed her to talk to Haley, she had to because someone had to explain to Jamie why his daddy and aunt Peyton were so sad, and why he couldn't visit with them.

Despite Peyton foreboding, I-want-be-alone attitude, Rachel entered the room and closed the windows that she'd opened earlier - so the blonde could get fresh air - before settling in beside Peyton underneath the covers. Not even that got any reaction from the blonde, she just remained staring blankly at a wall not uttering a single word. The consolation though, she noticed, was today Peyton had actually felt up to taking a shower and changing her clothes, even though she'd just returned to her stoic position after.

As much as she hated tears like any sane person did, Peyton was bottling everything inside and it couldn't be healthy to be so emotionless. With full intent on getting emotion from the blonde for her own good, Rachel gently wrapped arms round the woman's skinny frame and waited for the waterworks. They didn't come immediately, but after a while she felt Peyton rigged frame dissolve into shakes from her sobs. This time Rachel conditioned herself not to break down too.

Conditioned her self to be a rock for the blonde.

***

As much as Nathan was there, his head wasn't in the game, forcing the coach to bench him which he didn't mind. In fact as destructive as it was he'd hoped the coach would just send him home already, but the guy didn't seem ready to do that.

It still seemed so unreal that Peyton had had a miscarriage. That their baby was now gone.

Three weeks.

Three measly weeks was all he had before, the title of soon being a father was so harshly ripped from him. Three days was all he had to linger on the kiss he'd shared with Peyton that night, before the phone call came that brought everything crashing to the ground.

Even before he left this time round, Peyton barely looked at him. Heck, after leaving the hospital she barely acknowledged him, which hurt the more.

As much as it was selfish for him to think, he really wondered if her ignorance of him was because she somehow blamed him for losing the baby. He'd thought about it too, whether it was his fault, and he'd concluded that he was partially responsible.

She'd been pregnant and had preeclampsia and on top of that she'd had to deal with his assy behaviour about her pregnancy and Lucas. Heck, she had to deal with segregation from those she called friends because of their relationship. Either way, all pointed to him and the choices he'd made and it scared him a little. Scared him that he had indirectly 'caused their child's death. If Peyton thought of it the same way, then he didn't blame her for giving him the cold shoulder.

When the final buzzer rang through the court, he almost bolted out of his seat from relief. It was the last game he'd have to endure before the season took a break. Unfortunately for him though his coach caught up with him before he could fully get away, telling him they needed to talk after he got changed. And that wasn't the only obstacle in his way, the blonde known as Deb Scott - his mother - stood not to long away from him.

He only had one person to thank for that little gift. His meddling brother had to be the one to call her. _Just what I need, _he sighed making his way over.

"Hey mom," he greeted with a smile that didn't quite reach his blue eyes, giving her a small hug.

As much as he was trying to be strong, her little boy was breaking apart and it wasn't something she could fix. The loss of a child had to be one of the most hardest crosses to bare. Even though no-one ever knew, she'd suffered a miscarriage too, but unlike the pain she imagined both Peyton and Nathan were going through, she'd been relieved. Only because at least one of her children had escaped the clutches of Dan Scott. "Oh my boy," was all she could whisper seeing the sadness in his blue eyes. A sadness she would do anything to take away.

***

Peyton knew she was scaring Rachel but, she really could bring herself to stop. For once she wanted to be selfish and wallow in grief was that so bad? Her baby was dead. A part of her was ripped from her without warning, and now she was just suppose to up and deal? It didn't work like that, not for her. If people were worried, well it was too damn bad! She'd told them to leave her the hell alone, so they couldn't exactly crucify her for not giving into their requests.

And the funny part was Brooke and Haley showing up, and giving her the pity look like they had a right. They didn't give a rats ass about her so why should she accept their false condolences? As far as she was concerned, let them bury they pathetic excuses for olive branches, with their supposed friendship because she didn't need it or them.

The only people she really did feel sorry for worrying were Rachel and Nathan. Yeah, unbelievably, she did worry about Rachel since she had been there for her. Despite their crap from the past, Rachel had been their where even her best friend hadn't.

Nathan… how could she really look at him, without her heart breaking all over again. Without feeling physical pain. Seeing him, being around him would seriously kill her. Because not only would she have to deal with her own pain, that was already drowning her, but she'd have to see the person she loved most be destroyed along with her. That, and an irrational part of her, just in the slightest, blamed him for the death of their would-be first born. A horrible thought to have, but in her grief stricken mind anything went, and a part of her - an irrational one - just held him accountable. Heck, she blamed herself too. And why wouldn't she? It was her twisted karma that came to bite her in the ass.

A tear escaped her eyes, as her hand touch her stomach. The flatness a clear and blaring sign of her empty womb. _Why? _she screamed internally to the cruel world. _Why did you have to take her, damn it! _Tears now falling profusely down her face at the cruelty of it all. She deserved to be punished for some of the crappy things she'd done in life, but why her little girl? Why take her baby? Why did she have to pay for her mother's crimes? Unable to control her anger, she let out a heart wrenching scream and threw the lamp across the room, and watched it shatter.

Her next victim was the bed side table which she threw on the floor with another raging scream. _Why? _Her hand fisted the bedding and bed sheets of her unmade bed and wrenched them off, surprisingly not tearing them to shreds with the force. Breathing heavily while tears continued to still fall openly down her face, she fell to her knees on the now bare mattress, spent and in both physical and emotional pain that no amount of crying or anger could touch.

She let go of another scream, even if it did nothing but, make her throat sore.

Today Rachel didn't enter the room, just listened as the blonde screamed and threw things around the room. It wasn't something to be happy about but it was progress still and at least she was finally showing some emotion.

More soon

_A/N: So… didn't mean to bash if there was bashing. I was merely venting (my exams, CATs and RATs _

_[yeah they do exist. Random Assessment Test] totally sucked this sem), that and my muse decided to go diva and take a vacation. Okay, the song is __**Broken Strings **__by __**James Morrison and Nelly Furtado**__._

_As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames … "to each his own"._


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill.

**Pairing: **Nathan and Peyton; Strong Rachel and Nathan Friendship. Slight Peyton and Rachel Friendship

**Rating:****Strong** T.

**Warnings: VERY ****heavy **ANGST.

**A/n: **Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the incredibly long wait.

**Ice Box**

It was strained and awkward between himself and Peyton, and there was nothing he hadn't tried to reduce the wedge between them. Nathan knew he needed to give her time and not be frustrated with her, but sometimes it got too hard to do that. Sometimes he wanted to just say to hell with space and just hold her until she let him in again, but he also knew Peyton always moved in her own pace and didn't like being rushed, otherwise she pushed him away and hard.

Normally if he had problems, he would drink them away, but he couldn't afford to fall off the wagon. For once in his life he couldn't afford to be a coward and drink himself to oblivion, his son needed him. And momentarily, the woman he loved needed him more. In lieu of the Bottle, he had taken to going for a run to rid his frustration and as much as he'd tried to push him away and the betrayal hung over their heads like a dark cloud, Lucas insisted on being there for him. Sure, his brother hadn't forgiven him but, he was willing to push his anger toward Nathan away for the time being to help his little brother, for which he was grateful.

"So… how are you doing?" Lucas asked as they watched Jaime running around with Skillz and Fergie.

Nathan sighed heavily, really wanting to avoid the subject but, also wanting to vent. "She still won't let me anywhere near her or into what she's feeling, no matter how hard I'm trying without pressuring her," Nathan confessed. "And with the added bonus of her being Peyton, she'll just push back if I push, and that would be worse. I've just never seen her this way, so… cold, not letting a single emotion through. I'm fresh out of ideas."

"I know you're tired of hearing this, but she needs time," Lucas assured him. It still hurt that Peyton loved his brother over him, and that they'd betrayed him hours before his wedding, but he still loved her and Nathan would always be his brother. It was hard for him not to be empathetic to the situation despite their issues that were yet to be resolved. Besides, if there was someone who would eventually get to the blonde and help her heal it was Nathan and even he couldn't deny that.

"Doesn't mean the situation isn't frustrating, I want her to let me into her pain, and be there for her."

Lucas let a sad smile tug at his lips. All he could think was he was in the same predicament, albeit it being with a certain red-head. "I know what you mean," the object of his thoughts, walking onto the court to join Skillz, Fergie and Jamie in their little basketball game.

A few weeks back –and if he wasn't observant –he would have mistaken his brother's comment to be referring to the blonde, but from observation he was definitely talking about the red-head. And whether he knew it or not, Lucas still cared for the red-head and more than he even thought he did. "I guess we'll just have to give it time," saying it for both their benefits.

No-one seemed to be able to get through to Peyton, and if they tried the young blonde would just become more removed and colder. Deb wasn't a stranger to the tactic, the young woman was using, in fact she was rather fluent in it. What she was doing was becoming numb, numbing herself to the world and the pain so she just wouldn't hurt anymore. Some would call the fact that she had left her room finally and walking around progress, but it would only be progress if she wasn't doing it as a drone.

The blue eyed blonde, also wasn't blind to how much her little boy was trying to get to the woman he adored. Nathan had never been a quitter, and for Peyton he was even more determined than usual. How she knew was the fact that he'd only allowed himself to drown in alcohol once, but hadn't touched the bottle since then. Instead he turned to exercise to let out his frustrations at not getting through to Peyton. Another observation was that as much as to him, he wasn't making progress, but to an outside observer he was the only one getting through.

Every time he walked away saddened by his failure, there was a slight tearing in Peyton's eyes which let Deb know that Peyton didn't like pushing Nathan away, but then she also wasn't able to have him near either.

"I was making sandwiches and made you one," Deb placed a plate with half a sandwich and juice in front of her.

Peyton tried to give her a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "I'm not hungry."

"I'll leave it here anyway," placing a gentle hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "You might want it later." Yet again she watched sadly as, Peyton place an unconscious hand over her belly before realizing what she was doing and retracting it. "I'm going to town later, do you want to come?"

"No," she answered quickly, not even thinking about it. There was no way Peyton was going into to deal with the whispers and pity stares. No way in hell. Besides, having the whole house just to her wasn't such a bad prospect. At least she hoped she would have the house to herself for a while and Deb wouldn't call anyone to stay with her. "I think I'll just take a bath."

"I'll leave you some vanilla bubble bath in your room for you before I leave."

"That sounds good."

With that, Deb left the younger blonde alone to her thoughts once again.

0-~*+*~-~*+*~-0

Alone, no chaperone just her alone in the house finally! As promised earlier Deb had left her the vanilla bubble bath in the bathroom of the guestroom. Taking a moment she just relished the silence. Weeks she'd prayed for solitude and finally she had it.

Shedding her clothes quickly, she sunk into the warm depths of the tub as soon as it filled. Greedily enjoying the comfort, warmth and scent it offered her. It had been too long since she enjoyed a good bubble bath, and she was rather glad she'd thought of it.

"_Can I take off the blindfold now?" Peyton asked impatiently, not exactly a fan of surprises and blindfolds. Okay, maybe just blindfold. She just hated not being able to see where she was going._

_Nathan chuckled, "would you quit being so impatient, Sawyer. We are almost there," still leading her toward her top secret surprise._

_As they got closer and closer to their destination, the scent of vanilla got more and more prominent in the air, and the soft tone of Journey's Open Arms making her really wonder what he had planned. "Are we there yet?" she whined._

"_You ready?"_

"_Thought my 'are we there yet?' was a dead giveaway for my ready status?"_

_With a gentle laugh, he finally let the blindfold fall away. It took her a moment to adjust to the light again, but when she did it took her breath away. Scented candles littered the bathroom, to lighting it in a soft glow. Roses lead from her feet toward the bathtub which was filled to the brim with bubbles, a small radio sat beside it but at a safe distance from the water._

"_Jet lags' a bitch," he explained. "Figured you could use a little relaxation to get back on track," wrapping arms round her waist and pulling her close until her back was against her chest, kissing her neck softly, "plus a massage."_

_Closing her eyes she just reveled in the moment. Memorized the feel of his lips on her neck, the feel of his arms wrapped around her, vanilla, soft music and warmth filling the room and the giddy feeling filling her at his thoughtfulness. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble to seduce me."_

"_And you," slowly unbuttoning her shirt, "still have to much clothing on," peppering kisses on her shoulders as he slid the shirt down his arms. Basketball calloused hands, moving to the waist band of her jeans and popping the button._

"_This deal comes with undressing too," she teased, "me like this a lot," a laugh greeting her statement._

Snapping her eyes open, she refused to let her mind wonder further into the memories; happy memories that would lead to nothing but tears. But her mind didn't think there was any harm in bomarding her with yet another memory.

_She opened her green eyes, giving him a sleepy smile, __"__Morning.__"_

"_Morning __…__how__'__d you sleep?__"_

_She smiled lazy, __"__Pretty darn good,__"__ she confessed, wanting this moment to last forever. This moment that gave her hope for the future. __"__Your mattress is a dream. Is it one of those wonder-ones they keep advertising?__"__ Thinking she needed to invest in the ridiculously comfortable mattress._

"_You'll have to ask Red, she__'__s the one who furnished the apartment,__"__ giving credit where credit was due._

_She didn't know if it was too early, but she couldn't resist. __"__Explains why it doesn't look crappy,__"__ cracking a smile, her heart on edge. But, at his laugh, it settled. They were definitely moving somewhere after last night._

"_I didn't know what you wanted,__"__ he said, after their laughter died out into a comfortable silence, pointing out the tray; the slightest bit of nervousness in his stance, __"__any crazy cravings?__"_

_She smiled, completely floored by him. It was amazing sometimes how a man__'__s man like Nathan, thought of such things, __"__Pancakes.__"_

"_You__'__re kidding?__"__ he laughed._

"_You still remember that?__"__ she asked, a blush on her cheeks._

_He smiled, __"__Your random craving of pancake, kind of hard to forget, Sawyer.__"_

"_Are you just going to sit there? Baby wants pancakes daddy, baby gets pancakes,__"__ she mocked seriousness. __"__So get your baby pancakes.__"_

Closing her eyes tightly she tried to rid her mind once again of the memories. Memories of when things were good, when her baby was still alive and Nathan and her were still a possibility. But all that was gone now. Things weren't good, her daughter was ripped from her and Nathan and her… it just hurt too much.

_Yet another heavy bout of nausea and vomiting had her feeling spent. To say this week was among the most brutal in her pregnancy was an understatement. Between morning, evening and night sickness, accompanied by continuous headaches, sometimes being barely able to breathe, pains in her side and passing out, she barely had a moment's rest. The only thing that seemed to ease the weakness and pain was a warm relaxing bath, not scented. Because with her heightened sense of smell scented bubble baths or bath salts just made her sick to her stomach._

_Unfortunately, today even the warm water of the bath was doing nothing to ease the sharp pain. In fact, it seemed to get worse by the minute. It couldn't be postponed for tomorrow; she needed to see Dr. Townsend today, feeling as horrible as she felt couldn't be normal._

_Wincing in discomfort, she gingerly got out the tub. She would call Rachel to hurry the hell up, then Dr. Townsend to meet her at the hospital. _

_Her head felt light and the whole room was spinning and her vision was doing weird things. All she knew was hadn't felt this bad before, something was very wrong._

Peyton shut her eyes tight trying to prevent tears for falling down her cheek, but they still escaped from her tightly shut eyelids anyway. The nightmarish memory attacking her even now while she was awake, knees pulled close to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around her legs, trying futilely to block out the memories that refused to leave her alone.

_Her already weakened arm began to shake from being the sole support for her body. The door frame was the closest thing she could grab, to prevent herself from falling face first on the floor, the dull headache becoming a server migraine. Something warm and fluid was trailing down her leg, and the worst stabbing pain hit her stomach._

_Red, the fluid that trailed down her leg was red. Blood, its coppery-metallic smile distinctive, "Oh god!" Peyton let go of a cry at the sight, her baby. With fear as her motivator she gathered all her strength on shaky legs, and made her way to the phone she'd stupidly left on the bed._

_It was so close, _just a few more steps. _But her battle to stay on her feet and conscious was quickly dying, and the only thing she could do was make sure she didn't fall on the baby, before darkness enveloped her._

Her body was now shaking with unconcealed sobs, as they escaped her; the cruelty of the memories tearing her apart.

"_Nathan hasn't told me anything, I want to know what__'__s going on.__"_

"_When you were brought in you had lost a lot of blood. It__'__s rare but, like I told you before, with Pre-eclampsia, it can flare up at any time -__"_

"_- And my baby is - is she__…"_

"_I__'__m sorry Peyton,__"_

"No," Peyton begged her mind to stop, to spare her revisiting the worst moments of her life.

"_We did everything we could,__"_

"No" escaped Peyton once again, tears streaming down her face to mingle with the now cool water of the bathtub_. _

"_But, we lost her.__"_

Peyton couldn't breathe, or maybe she just didn't want to breath. It hurt too much; to move, to think, to breathe.

_She's gone_, the painful realisation hitting her once again, as she slid further down into the tub.

There had been a chance to see her again, to say goodbye to her baby, but she'd been too much of a coward to even go see her one more time. She wanted to stop hurting, but it seemed to be something that was impossible. And she realised it would never stop hurting. She slid down further still until she was immersed in the now cold depths of the tub, away from the world that just seemed to cause her pain, away from the reality that her child was gone, away from seeing Nathan in pain.

Just away

More soon

**A/N:**_ I know it's been forever but this chapter was kind of hard to write, but here it is. Song is __**Icebox **__by __**Omarion. **__As always…_

_Reviews would be lovely. Constructive Criticisms is welcomed. Flames __…__"__to each his own__"__._


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